Dining out at a restaurant calls for a degree of decorum and etiquette, yet occasionally, those boundaries are breached. These diners turn to the internet to gauge whether their behavior was deemed acceptable or not. Content has been edited for clarity.
“You Could Pay For Everyone’s Food”
“I have been engaged to my fiancé for 5 months. We don’t share finances because that’s what he wants. I received a raise in my salary, and now I earn 30% more than he does. I noticed that he’s been using this as a reason to ask me to pay for him and his friends. Whenever I say ‘no’ or ‘why should I pay for this?’ he responds with ‘the 30%, that’s why.’
He acts as if the 30% is unfair or that I don’t deserve it.
Several times he has tricked me into paying for his and his friends’ meals by asking me publicly. Let me say that I’m too nice to say ‘no’; I hate confrontation, especially when we’re in a public place like a restaurant, so I just grin and pay.
Last Tuesday, he asked me to join him and his buddies for dinner. I told him from the start that I wasn’t paying for their food and he shouldn’t expect me to.
He said he ‘got this’ and ‘no worries.’
We got to the restaurant, met his friends, and ordered food. In the middle of the meal, he leaned in and whispered that I would be paying for everything he and his friends ordered.
I got so mad I whispered back ‘noooo,’ but he probably relied on me not causing a scene in public and in front of his friends.
He said, ‘You have enough money; you could pay for everyone’s food, 30%, remember?’
I was fuming inside. Instead of reacting negatively and losing my temper, I waited until the bills arrived (they were already split from the start when we first ordered). I paid for mine, then I excused myself to the restroom. I sneaked out from there, got into my car, and went home.
I started receiving phone calls from my fiancé, then texts asking where I was. I texted back, saying I didn’t appreciate how he put me in this situation and basically tricked me into paying for his and his friends’ food. I told him I went home and then stopped replying.
An hour later, he came and started yelling at me, calling me selfish, irrational, a cheapskate, and childish for sneaking out like that and leaving him stuck with a bill he could not pay (He had to call his brother for help). We had a loud argument, and then he walked out.
His friends didn’t speak to me on this, but he told me they’re disappointed in my behavior and are telling him to take time and ‘reflect’ on the type of woman he’s going to be married to.
Am I the a**hole for what I did? Is what he’s expecting from me fair or justified?”
The Vegetarian Child
“My daughter (12) decided 2 weeks ago that she wants to be a vegetarian. I was fine with that. I would support and encourage her if that’s what she wanted. However, for the past 2 weeks, she has been looking down on the rest of the family with snooty comments like ‘You know that will just sit in your colon, right?’ and ‘It doesn’t make you THE murderer, but it definitely makes you an accomplice.’
Then came the rude remarks like ‘So you’re just gonna take 2 years off your lifespan like that?’ When I chose to reheat meatloaf for dinner instead of a pizza. At that point, I told her that she does not get to make rude remarks about people’s lifestyle choices like that, and if she says something rude like that again, I’m taking away her phone. Of course, she cried and ran to her room.
Her brother (7) is getting sick of it, and so am I, especially when I just get home from work and want to relax and enjoy my meal.
Three days ago was my son’s birthday, and we decided to take him out to his favorite restaurant. This place had vegetarian options, so I wasn’t worried about my daughter being upset about that. I asked her if she wanted to go, and she excitedly said yes. We got there, and when the waiter took our order, my daughter decided she wanted a mushroom burger.
I said, ‘Woah, I thought you wanted to go vegetarian?’
She said, ‘I’m taking a break since it’s a special occasion.’
I told the waiter to cancel that order and give us a few minutes.
I looked at her and said, ‘Look here, missy, you have been nothing but a jerk these last few days with your passive-aggressive comments since going vegan, vegetarian, whatever! You either commit to it now or get nothing at all.’
She didn’t even look at me; she just flopped her head on the table and started crying the moment I started talking. My husband did nothing but said, ‘way to go.’
She didn’t move her head the entire dinner, even when I asked if we needed to talk outside or go to the bathroom to collect herself. Nothing. We got home, and she just went to her room. My husband thinks I’m the AH because I had to ruin a night out.”
Inappropriate Comment?
“My girlfriend (GF) and I were having dinner at a restaurant when she received a text from her best friend, who had recently given birth.
She said, ‘OMG, she had a C-section.’
As she works as a nurse, she proceeded to explain the type of incision they make for that and how it can leave a scar.
As a joke, I then said, ‘Well, at least she’ll still be tight down there.’
My girlfriend looked confused and told me that it was a weird comment to make about her friend. I insisted it was just a normal joke, but she disagreed. This led to some back-and-forth, and I eventually asked her to drop the subject, but she kept trying to discuss it.
Frustrated, I said, ‘You’re so insecure,’ to which she responded, ‘Does it make you feel good to call me that?’
This escalated the situation, and I became even more frustrated. I abruptly got up, walked out of the restaurant, and drove home. She tried calling me several times (I had driven us both there), but I was so frustrated that I turned my phone off.
Around 30 minutes later, she showed up at our apartment, visibly angry, and called me an a-hole for overreacting. She mentioned that she had to wait in the cold for 20 minutes for an Uber.
So, am I the jerk for walking out on her and leaving her there due to my frustration?”
