A Very Judgmental Window Guy
“When I worked in Mcdonald’s drive-thru I saw two things that shocked me. One was a guy who had his huge ear gauges off and the ears almost reached his shoulders, I mean they literally flapped when he turned his head to look at me. I had a really hard time keeping a straight face, super uncomfortable.
The other time there was a really big woman driving one of those small Buicks and her belly was EATING the steering wheel. I had the food bag in my hand and she was struggling to reach for it and I asked her ‘are you okay, ma’am?’ And she told me ‘just give me the food’ while panting. Ten years have passed and I still wonder to this day if I did the right thing.”
He Was A Mean Old Man!
“I’ve seen a guy’s junk, a weapon on a lap, and dozens of folks openly using, but the best had to be the man on the mobility scooter.
He would come through on his mobility scooter and order, and he was mean. This lady in a van apparently got closer to his scooter than he thought she should have. He starts screaming at her. For whatever reason, she decides to get out of her van to discuss this with him. He took the flag from the back of his scooter and began hitting her with it!
Police were called, and he was arrested. His mobility scooter was impounded. I’ll never forget watching it on the flatbed of a tow truck.”
People Are Just Nasty
‘First, the number of people that don’t feel like wearing pants through a drive-thru is impressive.
Otherwise some of the more interesting ones included: a guy with a carpet anemone on his lap; a lady whose pickup interior was completely covered in garbage bags and who wore rubber dish gloves at all times; a couple that used their stomachs as tables for their meals; a surprising number of cars belonging to hoarders with only enough space for a driver to squeeze in; and, my personal favorite, a short bus that had a wintery forest scene painted all over that was carrying a team of sled dogs.”
Working At The Car Hop You See Everything
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“I have two from my carhop days:
1) A very large man (relevant to the story), was a regular and drove a car about the size of a Pinto. I genuinely do not know how he got in and out of the thing due to his size, he should have been driving an F150 or something. Anyways, despite this obstacle, he drove this thing and stopped by about 10 times a week.
I will never forget the time I car-hopped to him (about our third interaction) and I had to walk around the order board to reach his window due to how he parked. I realized that his driver seat was completely reclined with his body reaching about 2/3 of the way ‘up’ the seat, and the bottom was completely gone. There were some wires left, but he was sitting on a metal barstool that had been shortened to be somewhat workable. I’m not trying to be unkind, but the thought of how far wrapped around he was on this stool due to his proportions still gives me a physical pain when I think of it. And he drove 50 miles one way to get to work each time (we got to know a lot of our regulars and learned this about him before he just stopped showing up one day).
2. A car full of two completely nude teenage couples. My coworkers didn’t believe me so all four of them (even the cooks) took turns taking out the condiment tray within a ten-minute span. I am guessing it was a dare of some sort, but I just acted like nothing was up.”
Out Of The Darkness A Hero Emerges…Or Maybe A Thief
“I saw this about 6 or 7 years back at a drive-thru and it was so bizarre nobody would ever believe me.
It was 2 in the morning on a balmy August night. I’d built up an irresistible Baja Blast craving and that sweet, sweet cheesy bean and rice burrito. I pull up to the drive-thru, place my delectable order, and pull forward. Then. There he is. In the inky black darkness. I saw him.
The Dark Knight.
The Bat.
The Batman.
Clearly decked out in his finest gear he was crouched behind the Jeep in front of me, holding a position poised to attack. He barely notices me, but when he does, he offers the slightest of nods. Then! Snapping back to focus, he observes the window carefully. Then it happens. As the drive-thru worker hands the food outside of the window the Batman pounces, leaping into action. From out of the darkness he emerges, clutching and seizing the bag of delightful tacos as it was being passed to the car. Clearly, the drive-thru worker took pride in her work as she did not go down without a fight. Without a fright and with conviction she puts up impressive resistance as they two tug for the taco filled prize.
But the Bat wins out in the end, finally tearing the bag from her hands he swirls his cape and dashes off, leaping back into the shadows from whence he came.”
Just The Grossest Thing Ever!
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“I work at Whataburger, and we have pretty much no restrictions on the size of vehicles that come through the drive-thru. That means we get borderline semi trucks coming through. Besides that, I’ve seen a girl with a small adult toy on her finger (I guess she was having fun on the road) and my manager saw a girl change her sanitary napkin right at the window. Not a care in the world.”
Working At The Donut Window Means Seeing Some Crazy Stuff
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“I worked at Tim Horton’s in Canada like 10 years ago and saw some pretty weird things.
-We once had a homeless man come through the drive-thru and order a single Timbit. Believe it or not, you can actually order 1 Timbit, it’s frowned upon but totally allowed. When he rolled up to the window, he was riding a bicycle in a diaper. Another time, the same homeless man came through the front door and ordered 1 Timbit, I just gave it to him and said, ‘don’t worry about it.’ He was so happy, he asked if I wanted a hit of the lit joint he brought into the store with him.
-I’ve seen teenagers try to walk through the drive-thru, they were denied the food unless they came inside.
-An overweight couple on scooters that ordered a dozen donuts and 4 iced caps. The scooters had a tray attached to the front.
-There was a homeless man hiding in our garbage room, which we used to smoke in. We found out because we heard snoring coming from behind the dumpster.
-An extremely wasted person that was very rude ordered a sandwich and was refused food at the window because he was wasted. We asked him to pull over and come inside (in the hopes we could sit him down and let him sober up). He drove off faster than any of us could react. The only piece of information we had was that it was a black mustang, so we told the police.
-The last one was kind of a blur because it had been a really long day and I don’t remember it well. An older lady came for a coffee and she sounded very aged. She pulled up to the drive-thru and gave me the money and when I gave her the change, I noticed something in the passenger seat. It was a pink ‘deagle.’ For those that don’t know what it is, it was a desert eagle that looked like a flamingo, then she smiled and thanked me and drove off.
The Tim Horton’s wasn’t in a shady area, it was actually in a pretty rich area compared to where I lived at the time.”
Maybe He Should Have Narc’d
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“Not strangest, but most infuriating was a man in his 30’s with a baby in the back seat in a car seat, while he hotboxed a blunt in the car as he drove. I darn near wanted to call the police, maybe I should have, but from my 16-year-old perspective it wasn’t my business.”
Joyriding Kids
“I worked the window at a fast food place in a not so good part of town in college. I saw a lot of strange and infuriating things: people drinking while driving, doing substances, having a baby in the front seat and don’t get me started on the number of people carrying around wads of cash because I guess they didn’t have a bank account but the thing that shocked me the most was three 13-year-olds who had obviously taken one of their parent’s car for a joyride. As soon as they pulled up to the window I did a double take and told the cook behind the counter to look and tell me how old he thought the driver was, the kid looked like he hadn’t even hit puberty yet. When I opened the window and asked how old they were they said 13. The kid was driving a huge SUV casually through town.”
A Surprise In The Passenger Seat
“I was working at McDonald’s in the drive-thru when I was 18 and still in high school.
Some crappy truck pulls up and some guy mumbles a barely comprehensible order.
So when he pulls up to the window, I go to collect the money first. He’s sitting in this old pickup truck, and the dude had the facial structure of Cleatus from The Simpsons, but WAY more haggard. The dude was a total mess.
Anyway, I go to grab his cash, but as I leaned out, I noticed something. Next to him on the bench seat of the truck was at least 3 or 4 magazines sprawled out. In these magazines were pictures of totally nude, greased up guys jacking off their massive junk and having fun with each other.
‘Interesting,’ I thought. I went and got his food prepared and told a few of my friends who were working at the time.
So as I’m handing him back his food, one of my hilarious friends basically rushes in from behind me, forces his way between me and the window, looks at the guy smiling and says ‘Ah, I see you really like that gay male stuff huh’ then laughs hardily and scoots back to the grill.
The gentleman and I completed the rest of the transaction without uttering a single word and he drove off into the night, to whatever future laid before him.”
She Was A Pig
“Right out of high school I worked at quick oil change places as the person that vacuums your car and washed the windows.
One lady I will never forget, she brought in a car filled with garbage. Every seat (except driver) was stacked to the roof. Our policy was to throw away trash in the car and like an idiot, I asked her if she wanted it thrown away, with a shrug of indifference she replied sure.
So I start dumping the trash, determined to vacuum the floors (the main purpose of my job), and quickly fill the first trash can. This woman has pop cans, fast food wrappers, half-smoked Pall Malls, it’s like she was living in this car from the driver’s seat.
Mind you as I’m doing this I am not allowed to throw receipts away, so I’m stacking all of the receipts I find on her seat. By the time I filled the second garbage can her seat is covered by all the tiny fast food/gas station receipts.
After 20 minutes of this, the other guys finish changing the oil and I realize unless I want to spend another two hours on this car I’m not making a dent. So I go find her and politely tell her I tried to clean up as much as I could but since the oil change is done I will have to stop.
She said that was fine, threw all the receipts I neatly collected for her onto the passenger seat and drove off.”
A Love Too Personal
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“I used to work at my local Church’s Chicken near the end of my senior year in High School. This one girl I met from my school’s band was clearly obsessed with me from the moment I met her.
Anyway, during one slow night shift, this girl arrived at the drive-thru with a few of her friends screaming, for whatever reason. I had the luck to be put on drive-thru for that shift and just watch as she basically proclaimed her love for me, while I tried to politely decline through this embarrassing moment.
However, just when I thought it was over she handed me two love letters. After saying goodbye at least two more times she finally left. I put the letters in the back seat of my car, finished my shift, read the letters, and threw them away.
I kept my distance from her for the rest of the school year, quit the job in the summer, and moved away from the area.”
A Sick Old Man Makes Everyone Sick
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“I worked at a Burger King back in high school, and every single day, usually twice a day, this really old guy in a red Mercedes would come to the drive-thru. He would roll down his window and the stench of urine would blast you in the face, and inside his car was just completely full of discarded BK bags and wrappers. One day he actually came inside and sat down in a booth. He got up to refill his drink and brown drops of liquid followed him to the soda machine and back to his seat. He eventually got up to leave and walked up to the counter to tell us that he thinks someone spilled something by his table. We see his backside as he’s walking out and his butt is just soaked in liquid poop. I have to go over to his booth to clean up and its full of diarrhea water. Smelled like death. I felt so bad for that guy.”
Not Something You Expect Or Really Want To See
“When I used to work at McDonald’s I saw some strange stuff, but by far the best was when a guy took a long time to order like three dollars worth of food and when he got up to the window there was a chick in the back seat of the car in her underwear snorting blow off an iPhone. So I’m just staring at her as the guy hands me his card and she sees me and ducks down a bit and I’m sitting there like, ‘I can still see you.’
Ah, good times. Sort of.”
The Smell That Shocked The Store
“I haven’t seen anything too wild yet, but I have witnessed horrible smells.
One time, an old red truck full of guys that just got off work at the local cattle ranch pulled up to the Arby’s drive-thru window to pay for their meal. As soon as we opened the window we were blasted with the worst cow manure odor I have ever smelled in my life and I live in eastern Idaho where we have cows on pretty much every other corner. It was like a punch to the face. As soon as the person on drive-thru took the money he closed the window as fast as he could, but the damage was already done. It literally stank up the entire store. My coworkers on backline came up to the front of the store with disgusted looks asking who ripped a big nasty one. We were literally gagging. Even the customers were starting to get unsettled.
Needless to say, that was probably the quickest we ever got an order out to the customer.”
Interesting Seasoning
“A lady drove in through the exit on accident. Definitely startled the lady at the window.
Not me, but one of the girls I worked with had a lady ash her smoke on her hard-boiled egg before taking a big bite.
Had a few dudes casually smoking a bowl. A little big after I gave them their things and processed their transaction I noticed they were still sitting and waiting. I asked them if I forgot something, but I didn’t. They just forgot to leave.”
The Trash Man
“An elderly man who kept trying to give 18-year-old me his phone number at the drive-thru used to come to the Dunkin’ where I worked. This guy really creeped out younger me.
He drove a beat up pick up truck and there was always piles of garbage in his back seat. Not just clutter but genuine garbage. His truck smelled like the area in grocery stores where you can recycle cans and bottles.
Amongst all the trash was a prosthetic leg. This guy didn’t need a prosthesis as far as I could tell from when he would come inside the store. It was always in the back seat partially covered in trash to varying degrees so it wasn’t like he was bringing it to someone. I worked there for a couple years while I was in college so I saw this guy pretty regularly. I always wanted to ask him about the leg, but really didn’t want to invite any further unwanted attention from this guy so I never did.”
He Narc’d Out The Car
“I worked at a Burger King a couple of years ago. One night a car pulls up to the payment window, and it is reeking of grass from the car. Their eyes totally red, and I swore I could still see the smoke inside the car.
I take the money from them and start preparing their order. Not 10 seconds pass and I hear the familiar ‘beeeep’ sound from my headset indicating a new customer by the speakers. I take their order, and when they pull up it’s a freaking police car. I let them know of the car in front. Their response was ‘We know. We wanted to be ahead of them in the drive-thru. That didn’t happen, so we figured we might as well grab some late dinner before stopping them.’
I laughed quite hard.”
She Was VERY Specific
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“This one very large woman would come in her old car every day and order exactly 4 assorted, large soft drinks. Each drink required exactly 4 ice cubes in it or she’d yell at you, which was really annoying because we had an auto-filler at the time for drive-thru orders. The weird part about her car was, she’d always have a different assortment of people in it. So each day, there’d be more new people. I don’t know where she found so many new people, as it wasn’t a large town.”
A Scary Assassin
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“I used to work at Taco Bell. One day, a guy is ordering at the drive-thru and he just sounds off. I didn’t know why but he sounds off big time. He pulls to the window and hands me money. As I went to hand back some change to him, I realized in his passenger seat, there was a painting. The painting was of a shooting at a casino. There were a few assassins and lots of dead bodies by card tables.
It kinda freaked me out so I had the shift leader hand him the food and told her to look at his passenger seat when she did. She came back to me and was like ‘what the eff?’ We were glad when he didn’t pull into a parking spot and drove off after he got his order.”
Sloppy Feast Coming Up!
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“I work at a fried chicken place with a drive-thru. I am constantly amazed at the number of people who have other bags of food that come through. Like folks who have McDonald’s, a pizza and then order from me. What kinda sloppy feast are you having?”
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