HOAs are annoying with their endless amount of rules and fines. These residents share the most ridiculous complaint they ever received from their HOA. Content has been edited for clarity.
The Dog Policy
“My HOA had a rule that no dog could weigh more than thirty pounds. An older lady who had lost her husband was closer to her dog than I’d ever seen someone be. It was already sad and pathological long before any problem developed with the HOA. You could see she’d replaced her deceased husband of forty years with her aging dog.
At some point after a few years, the dog got sick and couldn’t exercise the way it previously could and as its health issues mounted it began to gain weight. My guess would be it exceeded the thirty-pound limit by only a few pounds, less than five, and this was a dog that was completely harmless, a threat to no one.
I mention that because I had assumed the weight limit was meant to prevent people from owning dogs large enough to be dangerous, but whatever the original reason, the rule took on a life of its own.
One day I watched two members of the board confront the woman and to my shock and horror, one of them put down a scale right on the sidewalk, and the other, as the woman screamed and tried to fight him, lifted the dog and stood on the scale before letting go of the dog.
Then began the worst behavior of any HOA board I’ve ever witnessed, and I’ve witnessed shocking things. They began demanding the woman either starve the dog into losing a few pounds or remove it from the community, something I actually think would have been the end of the elderly woman who talked to this dog as she walked him along in a baby carriage as if he were her whole world. It was already a troubling sight because we all knew the dog couldn’t last as long as the woman was likely to and something sad was coming either way. But for the board to take it this far was horrible.
After several weeks of growing threats of legal action, they actually began the process of removing the woman from her home. I spoke to her a few times and she finally had to give away the dog.
Within six months she was dead.”
The Community Parking Lot
“I was living with my sister and her husband in their townhouse. One of the board members ‘walked the property’ every day to look for infractions. She walked along the street but she also walked behind every townhouse.
The board was aware I was living there. When I bought a new car I parked my old car (1978 Datsun 280Z) in the ‘extra’ parking spaces, which were out of the way; not near the townhomes. Plus, there were spaces for 15 to 20 other cars that went unused.
My brother-in-law received a letter how my car was unregistered. My car was still registered out of state and it still had a valid registration. The license plate was under a car cover so miss walk-the-property was touching my car too. My brother-in-law went to the next meeting to let them know he was going to file a police report in case whoever lifted the car cover might have also vandalized my car (it wasn’t vandalized and he wasn’t going to file a report).
A week or so later the board came up with a rule that all vehicles in ‘community’ parking spaces (not in garages) must be moved every 24 hours. Several homeowners complained but the board ignored them. My brother-in-law was the only person to receive a warning letter and fine from the board.
He went to the next meeting to explain I did move my old car every day but parked it back in the same spot. He then said he would happily pay any fee when the board produced the 24-hour video that proved my vehicle had not been moved. When they said there was no video, he smiled and then offered to pay the fine if they could produce the log and people who watched the vehicle 24 hours.
Of course, they couldn’t. They insisted the rule was valid and I was guilty of not moving my vehicle. I started reversing the car when I moved it… in the same spot. Head in one day. Backed in the next. Still not good enough for them. So I moved it between two spaces; left, right, left, right. Still not good enough.
Now my brother-in-law was angry since this was clearly targeting one person. The board lawyer was also not happy with the board by this point. He didn’t say anything but his tone was not pleased.
So, every evening my brother-in-law would drive my car to the house of each board member, beep the horn several times, then move on to the next one. He did this for a week before he received a letter to stop. No fine. Just stop.
He had his lawyer reply indicating he was on a public road and making sure the board members were aware the vehicle had been moved since they had not designated anyone to monitor the vehicles or have video covering all parking spaces. He continued making the board members aware my car had been moved every day.
A week later, he got a letter saying they would waive the fine if he would stop. He replied that he would continue as long as the ‘unfair and targeted’ rule could ever be used again. So, he continued.
Another few days went by before the board announced the rule had been repealed. They never bothered us again.”
Ice Storm
“First, several years ago there was a giant ice storm in Dallas overnight. A large tree fell in my backyard around 3 a.m. under the weight of the ice and knocked my fence down leading into the alley.
At 6 a.m., I had a notice on my door:
‘Dear homeowner,
HOA rule 102.4 requires all owners to have a fence in their backyards between the yard and the alley. You are in violation of the rule and are required to attend a violation hearing at the next HOA meeting to discuss penalties and potential resolutions.’
Me: ‘WTF. It fell over last night.’
I called the HOA to figure out what was going on. Evidently, there was no leeway. No fence was no fence.
So I sued the HOA, the president of the HOA individually, and the chief enforcement officer individually for violating several state laws. They tried to back down. I refused until the entire HOA board agreed to resign and sign a permanent injunction against ever being on our HOA again.”
Dead Battery
“I rented a house in an HOA in San Antonio that had some pretty ridiculous rules. One of which you were not allowed to perform vehicle maintenance of any kind on your property. Now, I’ve always been one of those people who does their own oil changes, tune-ups, brakes, etc. It has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I’m cheap. I have a hard time paying someone to do something that I can do myself. But the house was nice and the school in the neighborhood was fantastic for my daughter, so I sucked it up and took my vehicles to a shop for maintenance.
Here’s the idiocy. One beautiful Saturday morning, I came out of my home to head to the gym. I hopped in my Jeep and turned the key. Noting happened. Well, darn. The battery finally died. It was about 5–6 years old at this point, so it was about time it was going to go. My wife wasn’t home, so I was kinda stuck. I went into the garage and dug out the battery charger so I could get my Jeep started to go buy a new battery. It took all of maybe 20 minutes to get enough of a charge to get it to turn over. I went to the store, bought a new battery, and swapped it out there in the AutoZone parking lot. Job done.
Fast forward three days and I received a letter in the mail from the HOA, to include a $250 fine for ‘performing vehicle repairs’ in my driveway. I went to the next HOA meeting to explain what happened, including bringing the receipt for the new battery. They refused to budge. Their response was that I should have called a tow truck to tow my vehicle to the dealership to have the battery replaced ‘as a civilized person would.’
I told them which part of my ass they could kiss and that I wasn’t paying it. They responded that they would contact the homeowner and have me evicted. Lawyer time.
I retained an attorney, who basically argued how ‘vehicle maintenance’ was too broad of a term to be enforceable, and that washing your vehicle is vehicle maintenance, and therefore a violation of the rules. The rules were rewritten to allow washing and cleaning out your vehicle and ‘reasonable, immediately necessary, user-level repairs’ such as changing a tire, jumpstarting, charging a battery, etc.”
Fence Damage
“My HOA used to be very reasonable and efficient. Over the years, changes to the board have turned this completely around. They will decline to do repairs and maintenance to areas of their responsibility, claiming a lack of funds.
So, we each have a patio enclosed by a wooden fence. The fence falls under the responsibilities of the HOA, residents are not to mess with them. Wear and tear is to be paid for by the HOA. Any pet damage is to be repaired by the HOA but billed to the homeowner.
Most of these fences are dry-rotted and a bit crumbly. This is normal; they’ve been baking in the Arizona sun for a couple of decades. Mine was sort of disintegrating. Now, I have a large dog. As dogs will do, he’ll go to the fence to bark at strangers. He’ll kind of put his head against the fence and see through the slats.
One day, he did this, and a whole section of fence comes loose, falling out into the parking lot. This scared the dog, he ran inside crying.
I went out to nail the fence back into place and found the supports too dry-rotted to really take a nail. I was glad for Gorilla Glue because I then glued the fallen slats back in place. I took a close look at the rest of the fence and found it to be awfully rotted out too. I contacted the HOA.
Without coming to look at the fence, they declared that this was certainly damage caused by a pet. They’d replace my fence at a cost to me of $1500. I found this to be a bit much. I went to Home Depot and spent about $200 on supplies. I completely replaced the fence myself in about two hours. I had the right paint color and everything; it was identical to the other new fences in the complex.
I was fined $200 for replacing the fence myself. I sure did not pay for it. They’d not inspected the fence before I did it, so they could not show the difference.”
Fire Alarm Inspection
“The fight I picked with our HOA was rather bizarre.
Every four months they would send a form that the owner of every unit MUST sign or be fined something like $400.00. The form said we must inspect the sprinkler heads (the ones in the ceiling that are triggered during a fire) in our unit and make sure they are free of paint, obstruction and not dripping water.
OK, sounds fair but then it got weird. The form then stated how by signing it, the owner certified that the sprinklers in their unit were in ‘working condition.’
This set off a feud that would last nearly a year. My position was I had no way to evaluate the working condition of the sprinklers because I had no knowledge of how they worked in the first place let alone how to properly inspect them. So how was it possible for me to certify whether or not they would function as designed if needed?
I pointed out how since this was a fire safety issue the HOA should get an expert in the field to inspect and certify the sprinklers and not depend on our uninformed opinions.
Needless to say, I did not sign the form. Twenty-odd letters and $1200.00 in fines later, I attended an HOA meeting and presented them with a letter from our fire marshal stating, in essence, how I was correct and how they must get an expert certification or the city would start fining us all.
So now the shoe was on the other foot. I instantly became the bad guy because it would now cost each unit about $20 a year for a proper fire inspection and that would make the members of the HOA board unpopular.
I then said how the HOA had fined me $1200 and how that amount would cover the costs for nearly two years of inspections for the whole complex. I was summarily dismissed and became non-grata until we voted them out and replaced them with a more enlightened board.
After the first expert inspection, it was discovered that the sprinkler heads installed in all the units had in fact been recalled by the manufacturer a year earlier because they were ‘defective in their basic design and function.’ Put another way, they hadn’t been in working condition since the day they were installed.
So, for the sake of saving $20 a year per unit that the HOA board gambled with our property and our lives for years… There’s petty and then there’s just plain stupid.”
“Your House Is On Fire”
“This incident has been going on for us for the last 6 months. We unfortunately live next door to the HOA president and her crazy grifter 2nd husband. These people complain about every neighborhood and all the things they do that are wrong and inconsiderate of them and their needs.
Dogs, pools, workmen, street activity, they hate it all. They chose us to lay down their crazy over a fire bowl, or in other words, ‘for lighting fires on your back porch.’
First, the crazy HOA lady came to the door telling me how ‘open burning’ was not allowed and how she would call the fire department on us. Being understanding neighbors, we showed her there was nothing ‘open’ about our burning and how we were using a fireplace self-starting logs in it on the porch. This infuriated her more since we didn’t bow immediately to her request. First lesson — HOA people care nothing for reasoning or understanding, only for control.
Since we have lived in FL for 20 years we have seen it all from HOA losers. We knew this wasn’t the last contact with Mrs. HOA. Best to document and gather proof, so we emailed the fire department for the City and asked if our specific model was against any codes. They replied we were well within legal parameters for burning in said bowl. I printed that letter out and put it by the front door.
Remember my comment about HOA people’s lack of reason, it escapes them. When it does, be prepared.
A month went by and guess who it was…Mrs. HOA.
She was now ready for round two. My wife responded to the door and heard the 2nd unreasonable request to stop lighting fires in our fire bowl. She promptly handed her the letter from the fire department. Most people at this point, if capable of reason, would stop this pointless fight when confronted with evidence of them being wrong and some authority stating so. But if you remember my warning about HOA folks — they joined that club because they had no reasoning skills, to begin with. Furthermore, that part about wanting control, ohh boy does it make them mad when you show them the many reasons you legally will not be controlled.
Well that incident right there, only infuriated Mrs. HOA more. Now it was time for Mr. HOA, to get involved.
It was 6:30 am on a Sunday morning when Mr. HOA snapped. He showed up at the door.
Him: ‘Your house is on fire.’
Me: ‘WTF! Where?’
Him: ‘On your back porch.’
Me: ‘Do you mean my fire bowl? It has a fire in it?’
Him: ‘Well it’s on your porch so your house is on fire and I’m calling the fire department.’
Me: ”…seriously? Good luck with that.’
The police showed up first. We gave him the letter and discussed the crazy HOA people next door. We then showed him the fire bowl and explained the situation. The fire department arrived next and came to the door in full regalia, ready to fight the reported house fire. We showed them to the fire bowl where they had a good laugh.
We chatted and said our goodbyes. This should be enough, right?
Nope, lack of reasoning continued on.
I pulled the 911 recording of the call he made. He lied the entire time reporting my house on fire just for his own personal vendetta.
Just out of spite, I decided Monday was a great night to have a fire outside. At 9 pm, there was an immediate escalation. M wife heard someone outside the bedroom window. Guess who it was… Mr. HOA.
He decided to trespass in our backyard. When I saw him, I ran outside to see him fleeing to his own yard yelling, ‘I’m not on your property. I’m not on your property.’
So now it was our time to call the police.
My wife called about the man seen fleeing our yard and yelling. The police showed up pretty quickly while she walked them through the whole situation. The police decided it was probably a good time to clear the air and let Mr. and Mrs. HOA know they were in the wrong and they needed to stop harassing us. Even tried to bring them out in the street to discuss. Nope, their lack of control just couldn’t take it and the guy started flying off the handle with the police.
The police showed back up at our door letting us know they suggested we file a police report and continue the documentation.
They said, ‘People like this don’t stop escalating until they get some control over their target.’
Our response was to get cameras put around our house so Mr. HOA could be arrested the next time he trespassed.
A couple of days later, Mr. and Mrs. HOA were back at it again. This time they were having the property manager deliver us letters that state the fires we had in our backyard ‘let off noxious gasses that do not allow them to enjoy their outdoors.’
We reported all this to the property management office back when it first occurred and they told me ‘to take it up with the HOA president’, to whom I replied, ‘Your guidance in this matter is to take the grievance up the chain to the person who is causing the issue?’
I had not heard back from any response. Looks like Mrs. HOA was using the HOA as her own personal police force since the actual police and fire department wouldn’t side with them.”
No More “Old Boys Club”
“My friend and his then-GF had a nice house in the center of the cul-de-sac in an HOA.
Some of his best fines were:
His garbage can being left out too long. One day when he was off work, he heard the truck come and go but was busy with some jobs at the time. About 20 minutes later, he opened the door to find a fine attached to the door.
Someone expected the bin to be back behind the house, within 10 minutes of being emptied, on a weekday. 3/4 of the street was working and wouldn’t have it taken in until after 5 pm that night.
He also got a fine for having ‘his’ car parked in his driveway instead of the garage for too long. It was his parent’s car and they were there for an hour dropping off some gifts for his birthday.
He even got a fine over his lawn. This was after the HOA president’s kid drove home drunk and drove onto his lawn. This was backed up with video evidence.
There were dozens of fines over the course of the year and he finally decided enough was enough and took a few weeks’ holidays from work. Revenge was afoot.
He spent the next 2 weeks being the pettiest homeowner on the block. He reported every, single, infraction. Backed up with a highlighted copy of the rules in every case and a photo.
He caught the HOA President with the wrong color paint, another board member with their bin out for 2 days, another with a large patch of grass missing, grass too long, branches too low, fences damaged, cars being left in disrepair, and maintenance needing done. Every single one was an HOA Board member. He did pin a few other residents for some of the things he was caught for.
The HOA tried to sue him for harassment, but he countersued with evidence that every single thing he had been targeted for, was being done worse by the HOA and other residents.
Ultimately he won, all his fines were dropped and a new board was soon voted in, the ‘old boys club’ was no more. About 6 months later, he decided to move to the UK. He’s been here 5 years and said if he ever moves back, no HOA.”
