Dealing with a terrible mother-in-law? We have all been there! MILs are notorious for being controlling, catty, and downright cringy. From baffling behavior to loathsome lies, these family members call out monster-in-laws who overstepped their boundaries. Content has been edited for clarity.
Table of contents
- 1. “Years Of Pent-Up Frustration And Anger Spilled Out”
- 2. “It Wasn’t My Proudest Moment”
- 3. Caught On Camera
- 4. The Lousy Lying MIL
- 5. The Maddening MIL
- 6. “My MIL Completely Bypassed Me”
- 7. “My MIL Knew She Had Pushed Me Too Far”
- 8. The Bad Babysitter
- 9. “My MIL Was A Terrible Person”
- 10. “She Was Ready To Make My Life Miserable”
1. “Years Of Pent-Up Frustration And Anger Spilled Out”
“For 20 years, I kept silent as my mother-in-law crossed the boundaries I had set in our relationship. I did my best to ‘never cause a scene,’ as I had been raised to do.
I asked my MIL to babysit in the early years of my marriage. When I came home from my doctor’s appointment, she had emptied my kitchen cabinets and drawers to rearrange them in her ‘better way.’ When I entered and saw the mess, my MIL grabbed her purse and left the kitchen in disarray. She never babysat again.
I controlled things a bit better by making sure we visit my MIL’s home as often as possible rather than her visiting our home.
When my MIL would visit our house for the holidays, I would lock the doors to the children’s bedrooms to avoid her emptying their closets to tell me, ‘They have too much stuff!’
This was the furthest thing from the truth, as my children donated to charity twice each year. My children donated clothes and toys one time in the spring, and one time in the winter. I later figured out I needed to take medicine before my MIL arrived to avoid the migraine I knew was going to come.
All of this ended during the holiday season almost 20 years ago. We had 24 guests at the holiday dinner, and I had a broken arm. Instead of canceling plans, my husband and I still put on the full spread.
As we sat down to eat, my MIL pointed at me and told everyone, ‘Isn’t it funny how she couldn’t cook when they first got married? My son would have to visit my house after work just to eat dinner.’
My MIL was blatantly lying. I could cook, and my husband never visited her house just to eat dinner! After my MIL said this, the holiday dinner was ruined for me. I left the table as soon as possible and went outside for a break.
When my husband came outside to check on me, I told him I was done. My MIL was never to be in our home again while I was in it. I also refused to visit my MIL’s home again. When someone had to pre-medicate to survive one hour in her presence, it was time for us to protect ourselves from her and grow up.
Then, my husband went back inside and asked my MIL to leave. She wanted to speak to me first, but my husband warned her not to do so. My MIL found me in front of the house and frantically chased me three times around the front yard and driveway.
I screamed at my MIL, ‘You don’t want to hear what I have to say about you!’
Eventually, I turned around and let my MIL have it. 20 years of pent-up frustration and anger spilled out. I was ashamed of myself on one hand. On the other, I was justified. In the back of my mind, I was glad my parents, who were inside the house, didn’t hear or see me cause a scene.
When I finished letting my MIL have it, I turned to the porch and spotted my father. As I walked towards him, I heard him stifling laughter.
I immediately began to apologize, but my father interrupted and said, ‘I am proud of you. How you made it 20 years with her without losing your temper is beyond me.’
When we walked into the house, my father loudly announced what everyone else missed.
Two days later, after having been told by both her son and myself how she was no longer welcome in our home, my MIL showed up with family in town for a visit. Knowing her as we did, my husband and I knew this was just a ploy to get back into our home.
I met her and the two visiting family members on our front sidewalk and explained, ‘Everyone else can come back later. But you are being played by her,’ I said as I pointed at my MIL.
My MIL only entered our home one time again in the years remaining until her passing.
My advice? Stand up sooner than 20 years.”
2. “It Wasn’t My Proudest Moment”
“My former mother-in-law was very fond of telling me how to raise my children, and what was okay for them, and what was not. Now, she did successfully raise three physically healthy children, but science evolved by the time I had my kids. Also, she was much more of an alarmist than I was.
I lost most battles with my MIL, but the one time I won was on my wedding day. My oldest was about six months old, and he was running a low-grade fever. It was Saturday, so his pediatrician was not available for a visit. My MIL insisted that he must go to the emergency room. I thought a low-grade fever with no other symptoms could wait and watch a bit.
Our house was full of guests from all over the country, and this lady was screeching about how I was a neglectful mother. I just couldn’t deal with it. I grew up in a house with more siblings than you could count. Exactly none of us went to the emergency room with only a low-grade fever.
I put my child in my car and went to leave to go get ready with my family instead. I had a lot of family members, baby lovers all. My child was well taken care of without alarmism. He felt fine and smiley after a dose of medicine.
My MIL followed me to my car. She had the nerve to reach into my open window and try to take my keys out of the ignition.
So, I hit her in the face, and she fell into the street. Not my proudest moment, but she pushed beyond my boundaries after a ton of requests not to.
I drove away and I had a beautiful wedding. I ended up getting married to the wrong man, but anyhow.
My son was just fine. I maintained his medicine, and he had a great smiley evening. I took him to the pediatrician the following Monday, and no further treatment was prescribed. When you come from a really large family, you kinda knew when the doctor was needed and when the doctor was not needed.”
3. Caught On Camera
“I caught my mother-in-law on camera talking bad about me.
One day, I went home from work and headed to the spare bedroom downstairs. I had a lot of my belongings in the spare bedroom, and I treated it like a living room when my wife worked the night shift. The belongings I kept in the spare bedroom were expensive, so I set up a camera. My MIL had no idea.
One night, I came home from work and began settling in. As I walked around the room, I noticed some of my belongings were out of place. I fixed the, thought nothing of it, and carried on. Then, I noticed the blinds looked disheveled. Again, I fixed them and carried on. Shortly after, I noticed something else was out of place.
I finally thought to myself, ‘Alright, someone was in here going through my stuff.’
I immediately jumped on my camera’s app and began checking the recorded ‘events,’ for the day. Sure enough, there was my MIL. She walked into my room already speaking poorly of me, then she began digging through my stuff!
My MIL continued to walk around the room looking for things and proceeds to talk about me the entire time. I could not believe what I was seeing! My MIL was a little on the weird and crazy side, so I expected certain things. However, I never saw this coming.
I wasn’t sure how the situation would play out, and for some reason, I was weirdly embarrassed for her. I didn’t want to show my wife the camera footage, either. However, roughly two weeks later, something happened between my MIL and me, so I brought up what I found.
She had absolutely zero ground to stand on. My MIL’s excuse?
She said, ‘Well, I must have been in a bad mood.’
Yeah, right.”
4. The Lousy Lying MIL
“Years ago, I had a C-section and could not walk for the first 24 hours post-surgery.
During this time, the nurses encouraged me to sit up to feed my baby. Unfortunately, we had some difficulties that wouldn’t allow the baby to latch on.
During a midnight feed, my mother-in-law grabbed my baby from my arms and said, ‘Poor you. Your mother doesn’t even know how to feed you.’
I was deeply hurt, but I didn’t say anything.
As the night progressed, my MIL fell asleep in my room. My MIL made claims about how she was my ‘caretaker,’ but she was the last person I wanted in the room. Plus, she barely even helped. My baby cried several times throughout the night and I had to keep ringing the nurse because my MIL was in la-la-land.
In the morning, breakfast came when I was being sponged, so the tray was kept away from me. After the nurses left, I asked my MIL to hand me the tray, but she ignored me. Instead, my MIL answered her phone and began complaining to a relative about how she didn’t sleep all night because she had to do everything for me. She was a liar!
My MIL must have seen my face going red because she left the room and continued to spew lies about me. Of course, I rang the nurse and finally had someone bring my breakfast over.
I would never forget the pettiness of the terrible human being who I had to bear as my MIL.”
5. The Maddening MIL
“This happened when my husband had just left the military.
He, I, and our two children had just arrived at his parent’s house. We were having dinner and the two babies began having a meltdown. While everyone else was enjoying themselves, I struggled to comfort the children. Then, as I was busy, my husband called out to me to get him a glass of milk.
I replied, ‘Unless you want to handle the babies, you can get your drink yourself.’
His mom, obviously not pleased with my response, jumped up from the table and screamed, ‘In this state, we respect our men! After all of the work he did in the military, he deserves a glass of milk!’
In a quiet voice to not make things worse with my children, I replied, ‘I was also in the military. These are his children too, and the least he can do is help.’
Then I took my son, who had finally calmed down, and plunked him into his father’s lap.
My MIL continued, ‘In the south, women don’t tell men what to do. They manipulate them into doing what is right.’
I laughed and replied, ‘You say that in front of our men? Sorry, I don’t respect men who need to be manipulated. They either do the right thing or show what they are really like.’
My MIL gasped, but she backed off. Years later, I had the satisfaction of her telling me I was right.”
6. “My MIL Completely Bypassed Me”
“When this incident occurred, I had already been married to my husband for 15 years. Throughout this time, five new babies were born into the family. I never got to hold any of the babies.
On this particular holiday, a nephew and his wife brought their six-month-old over to the family party. Many of us were just meeting the child for the first time.
When my nephew and his wife walked into the family room with their adorable giggling baby, I thought to myself, ‘Maybe this time.’
However, my mother-in-law immediately snatched the baby in her arms and walked around the room. My MIL plopped the baby down into everyone’s lap for two or three seconds and commented on his cuteness and pleasant disposition.
When my MIL began walking in front of me, I held out my arms and asked, ‘Can I hold him?’
‘No!’ she snapped in response.
My MIL completely bypassed me, ignoring the obvious gasps from the rest of the room.
I replied, ‘I guess this tells me how I rate,’ and walked out of the room.
I snuck out to the back porch and cried for about ten minutes. If I had been able to get our car out of the driveway, I would have left my husband there to explain why I was upset.
I didn’t say a word to my MIL for the next twenty-four hours of our visit.”
7. “My MIL Knew She Had Pushed Me Too Far”
“When I was pregnant with my now-teenager, my mother-in-law complained loud and long to anyone who would listen about how ultrasounds were not available when she was pregnant.
My MIL thought it was wrong how I wouldn’t, ‘Find out the baby is a boy or girl and tell her!’
Just because she couldn’t find out if her child was a boy or girl sooner didn’t mean I wanted to immediately get an ultrasound just to please her.
I asked her several times to stop complaining, and I told her it was only cute and funny the first time or two. My MIL refused to stop. The last time, my MIL made this complaint to a stranger who she had just met. I got up and walked out of the room and refused to come back until she was gone.
Over the next few days, my MIL tried to call me several times.
She left me fluff messages saying things like, ‘I saw something in the store I thought you would like, call me back.’
My MIL knew she had pushed me too far. When I calmed down, with my husband’s blessing, I told my MIL if she behaved similarly again she wouldn’t hear from me again until after my baby was born.
Later, I asked my MIL to please not smoke in the car when she had the kids with her, especially the baby. The baby was potentially developing asthma, and I wanted to keep all of my children safe. My MIL promised up and down she never smoked around the children.
One day, she took the baby and my oldest holiday shopping. When they left, I reminded her about not smoking in the car.
When I got home from work, my son came to me and said, ‘Grandma started smoking before we got to the freeway and she told me not to tell you.’
That was the last time she was allowed to be alone with my kids until she stopped smoking a few years later.”
8. The Bad Babysitter
“The first time I ever had to put my foot down with my now ex-mother-in-law was when my first child was approximately three months old.
It was Valentine’s Day, and my MIL was supposed to be watching my son for just a few hours. She had a large piece of solid milk chocolate, and she was about to feed it to my son.
I told my MIL, ‘Please do not give my son any chocolate. I don’t want to be changing diapers for days.’
My MIL rolled her eyes and replied, ‘Fine. I guess I’ll just give it to him when you are gone.’
I was fed up. I put my son’s jacket back on him and said, ‘I guess you won’t be babysitting tonight after all. If you can’t respect my wishes, then I won’t be leaving my child with you.’
My MIL was angry, but it was my child. If she wasn’t willing to follow my rules about not feeding my son chocolate at a few months old, she didn’t need to be babysitting him.”
9. “My MIL Was A Terrible Person”
“My mother-in-law hated me since day one. Period. However, after my partner and I got married after living together for four years, his mother went from somewhat cool to absolutely insane.
Shortly after my MIL lost her mind, my husband’s grandfather passed away and left eight acres of land to us. However, my husband’s grandfather’s land was in my MIL’s name because he failed to pay a few years of taxes. The grandfather returned the cash, but the city never bothered to place the land back into his name. Luckily, my husband and I were able to build a house and good life on the land.
One afternoon, my MIL showed up on my doorstep and asked, ‘Can I speak to your husband alone?’
When my MIL returned inside, she announced, ‘You need to move off of the land in three months. I’ll be waiting.’
My husband and I had built a farm on the property his grandfather gave us. We owned six horses, three dogs, seven cats, and a handful of chickens. Plus, we never saved money to buy a home, as we already built one on the property.
My husband and I knew we would not be able to afford the rent of another farm of the same size. Luckily, after months of searching, we were able to find a smaller farm to move into. However, we had to take some of our animals to shelters as there wasn’t enough space for them anymore.
Recently, my husband admitted his mother told him he could, ‘Come to her house to live with her, or leave forever with me.’
Of course, he chose to stay with me.
I never understand why my MIL thought my husband would choose her over his partner of sixteen years. Still, my MIL kept every dime from our old home and property. Everything from the barn my husband built to the land we cleared and fenced.
My MIL has slandered me to everyone for nothing and stole everything my husband and I cherished. We had to start all over again in our early forties.
Honestly, my MIL was a terrible person.”
10. “She Was Ready To Make My Life Miserable”
“It was always painstaking when my mother-in-law crossed a line in an attempt to exert control.
My then-girlfriend’s mother decided when her daughter moved in with me, it meant my house was now her house.
My future MIL had a literal box truck full of holiday decorations sent to my house to store it all in my garage. When I came home from work, I found my parking space full of boxes. I admit I was a bit cold toward her during this moment.
Afterward, my future MIL called her daughter and complained, ‘Your boyfriend was so rude and unwelcoming to me!’
She called right before we planned on going for a sailboat ride. So, I had an angry girlfriend, no parking in my garage full of holiday junk, and a crazy woman who looked to be ready to make my life miserable, and two hours together on a boat to figure it out.
After listening to my girlfriend vent for a while about how I had treated her mother, I asked, ‘I think your mother is trying to break us up. Is this what you want?’
My girlfriend’s anger disappeared as the manipulation dawned on her. I think this was the moment she was going to become my wife, as she said “No” – choosing me over her mother.
Not to let a moment like this go to waste, I told her, ‘I don’t want any contact with your mother for a year. You’re free to do whatever you like, but with what she’s done, she’s not welcome in my house, and I will not answer her calls.’
My future wife agreed.
It ended up being more for her benefit than mine, as her mother had always dominated her life. Since my wife now had a ‘safe space,’ she was able to flourish as a person in several ways.
Afterward, my future MIL and I had a respectful relationship. So when my wife cut her off, I somewhat ironically became the go-between.
My future MIL was a monster at the beginning of my relationship with her daughter. Setting boundaries was the best thing I ever did.”
