Welcome To Paradise, Or So You Thought
It’s every young couple’s dream not only to visit but reside in the happiest place on earth. So, when “Darla” and “Murphy” finally had enough in their savings, they purchased a lovely place in Hawaii.
Due to the prices, the couple could only afford half a duplex for the time being. However, owning half of the building outright satisfied them because it was all they could ever ask for in their brand-new home.
Their soon-to-be nightmare, “Virginia” was renting the other half.
Sometimes people hate change. Virginia was not only one of these people, but she was the type of person that wouldn’t go down without a fight. After giving her new neighbors the worst of welcomes, Darla and Murphy quickly realized the roller coaster they found themselves on.
When one incident lead to the next, the couple knew something had to be done before Virginia completely ruined their shot at achieving happiness in their new paradise.
Luckily, the odds were in their favor.
~
Some Neighbor
With their new home purchase, Darla & Murphy had a spacious backyard with a gazebo and about 150′ of dockage. Given that the couple purchased only half of the duplex, the back area wasn’t entirely theirs. According to the rental lease agreement, tenants were allowed to use the outside area as they pleased. However, Darla and Murphy’s portion of the space accounted for about ninety percent of it. However, Darla and Murphy bought their portion of the duplex outright, so they were in no way obligated to share their portion of the land. In hindsight, they didn’t see an issue with the shared space, but they couldn’t quite say the same for their next-door neighbor.
One day while Darla and Murphy were lounging in their backyard, Virginia slithered from her patio to pay them a visit. The couple could tell by her obnoxious gait and squinted eyes that Virginia meant trouble.
Once she was standing in front of them, Virginia briefly introduced herself as their neighbor and shifted all her weight to one side as she spoke.
“Yeah, I’ve been living here for years and I just want to let you know that this backyard space is for the both of us, not just you.”
Darla and Murphy exchanged annoyed glances at each other before they turned to face Virginia again.
“Well, hi neighbor,” Darla paused on the word. “We have no problem with sharing the space. All we ask is that you ask nicely.”
Instead of taking Darla’s words into consideration, Virginia scoffed as she walked back to her side of the yard to her patio.
It was one heck of an introduction. But it was only the beginning.
~
Uninvited
A few weeks later, Darla and Murphy were enjoying their afternoon when they heard a loud commotion from their backyard. The two of them raced outside. Immediately, a feeling of awe took over them when they saw what was causing a ruckus.
A huge, bright bounce house stood tall in their yard. There were tables, chairs, and all sorts of decorations spread throughout their space.
Of course, Virginia was at the center of it all. As Darla approached her, she was waving and pointing at the crewmen setting up for what appeared to be a party of some kind.
“Excuse me?” Darla tapped Virginia on the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?!”
Virginia met her gaze with an annoyed look. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m throwing a birthday party for my kid. You said I can use this space as I please.”
Darla bit back the urge to correct her. Not only did Virginia forget to ask like any decent person would who’s using up space that doesn’t belong to her, but she was blatantly snubbing off Darla and Murphy’s inquiry as if they were in the wrong. However, seeing the bounce house, the balloons, and the banners, Darla and Murphy did not feel right shutting down a kid’s birthday party. They decided to let it go, but Virginia rolled her eyes before she said something that only added more fuel to the fire:
“By the way, this is a family and friends-only event. So don’t come out here until it’s over, okay?”
“That’s it!” Murphy snapped. “After this, don’t even think about coming over here anymore!”
Not waiting for a reply, Darla and Murphy retreated to their side of the duplex and slammed the sliding door. As they stormed away, Darla looked back and saw Virginia shrugging her shoulders before she continued setting up for the party.
Later that night, the party was still in full effect while Darla and Murphy were watching a movie together. It took a while for them to calm down and forget about the way Virginia treated them. She certainly was making it hard to settle in, but the couple was determined not to let her poor spirit dampen theirs.
Suddenly, Darla and Murphy paused when they heard the unmistakable sound of their backdoor opening.
~
An Unexpected Visitor
Murphy shot up like a slice of fresh toast. Darla was right behind him as they ran to their backdoor to see who had paid them a visit unannounced.
A drunk, sunburnt man stood in front of them. He wobbled left and right and looked just as confused as the couple that gawked at him before he finally spoke.
“Where’s the toilet?” the strange man slurred.
“Um, who are you?” Murphy demanded.
“Virginia said she owned the entire property and told us we could use the bathroom here,” the man said between deep breaths. “I gotta piss. Where’s the toilet?” The man swayed before taking a few steps further inside the house.
Darla touched Murphy’s trembling arm to calm him down. The man was clearly drunk and confused, so she showed him the way out and pointed him in the direction of Virgnia’s side of the duplex.
A short while later, Virginia barged through the backdoor.
“You people really suck!” Virginia’s voice boomed. “Why aren’t my guests good enough to use your restroom? You made me look bad in front of everyone!”
“Get out of our house, Virginia!” Darla shouted back. “What gives you the right to use our property and send your guest here without our permission?”
“You people don’t deserve this place,” Virginia spat. “I know you have three bathrooms! Are you telling me you guys are so selfish you can’t even spare one?!”
“Get out now or we are calling the cops!” Murphy warned.
Virginia let out an agitated screech that sounded like a pitiful excuse of a war cry and stormed out of the house.
The couple watched her go. The party came to an end a short while later. Relief washed over Darla and Murphy seeing the balloons and other debris slowly dissipate from their backyard. It was after this night the couple realized Virginia could not be trusted to act civil.
So they took matters into their own hands.
~
Division
A week later, a loud commotion took place in Darla and Murphy’s yard.
Only this time, it was planned and highly anticipated.
After some thought, the couple made the decision to build a fence along the property line so there was no more confusion. On top of that, Darla and Murphy decided to add a fire pit and an outdoor kitchen to make the backyard seem more habitable after the incident.
While the contractor was busy making the changes, out came nosy Virginia. Now at the beginning of the project, only the outdoor kitchen and the firepit were visible. At one point, Virginia took the initiative to ask Darla and Murphy directly about the changes.
When Darla informed Virginia they were adding an outdoor kitchen and firepit, she intentionally excluded the fence that was being saved for last. But news of the new outside amenities was all Virginia needed to hear. She happily awaited the end of the project because it was still rooted in her mind that she was entitled to the entire property.
However, as days passed, the crew installed the fence posts. Virginia walked outside, saw the new fence being installed, and lost her mind. She dropped everything and ran to the workers, screaming at them to stop.
“This is my property. Just what do you think you’re doing?” Virginia roared.
Hearing their neighbor’s cries of despair was like music to Darla and Murphy’s ears. Darla exited the house with a cup of coffee in hand. She looked at red-faced Virginia and the workers, before taking a long sip.
“Butt out, Virginia,” Darla said. “They are doing what I paid them to do.”
Without saying a word, Darla went back inside and continued on with her day.
Darla assumed Virginia was going to give up trying to control what they did on their side of the property, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.
It appeared that Virginia wouldn’t back down without a fight.
Only Virginia’s definition of “fighting back,” involved calling the cops.
Sure enough, a single cop car pulled up to the duplex. Darla and Murphy had no issue explaining their side of the story to the cop. Once it was made clear the couple was simply building onto their side of the property, the cop wasted no time knocking on Virginia’s door and giving her if they had to guess, one of the only lectures their entitled neighbor had ever received in her life.
Angry, Virginia slammed the door in the cop’s face. Darla and Murphy didn’t hear a peep from Virginia for the remainder of the project. The couple was finally at peace…
Until an unlikely ally of Virginia came into the picture.
~
Gonna Need A Bigger Boat
Enter “Clark.”
Darla and Murphy eventually became acquainted with him after he repeatedly flicked cigarettes butts and tossed empty beer cans on their side of the fence.
Why?
As Clark put it, Darla and Murphy deserved it because they were “disrespecting his woman.” Clark and Virginia were like tit for tat when it came to their terrible personalities and gross behavior.
Despite showing kindness, and patience, and even distancing themselves from their entitled and butthurt neighbors, Darla and Murphy still managed to run into some form of trouble.
Not only did they share a yard with their neighbor, but they also shared a docking space. Similarly to the yard situation, Darla & Murphy had more dock space than Virgina, who had only 15’ dock space. This never seemed to be an issue, until Clark came into the picture with his 30’ fishing boat.
Darla and Murphy rented out their dock spaces on a month-to-month basis. Because of this, there was no extra space for Clark’s boat. However, when Darla and Murphy went on vacation, the scheming couple saw it as the perfect opportunity to strike when.
Because they wanted space for Clark’s boat, the bitter couple singled out one of Darla and Murphy’s renters and impersonated them. Virginia and Clark threatened to tow the renter’s boat if they didn’t remove it by the end of the month.
Unfortunately, Darla and Murphy didn’t hear about the incident until weeks later. The affected renter left a nasty review about the poor service they were rendered. Of course, this confused the couple, but after reaching out to gather more details, Darla was able to quickly put two and two together, singling out Clark and Virginia.
Furious, Darla got cops involved. Their actions were starting to get old and beyond irritating. Once there, the cops gave their neighbors a stern and final warning. They were told if they didn’t move their boat off Darla and Murphy’s property, it would be taken away by force.
Of course, this set off Virginia and Clark. Both of them screamed and argued with the cops, refusing to cooperate. Clark persisted his boat was on their property, (it wasn’t). Then he argued that no one could place a border on water. All of their claims were complete nonsense, but what made things worse was when Clark’s rage escalated so severely that he physically assaulted one of the cops that paid them a visit.
That was the end of the line. They handcuffed him and whisked him away in the cop car.
After everything, Virginia moved the boat, Darla and Murphy took the incident to small claims court and won, and they were able to reconcile with their client after Clark and Virginia ruined the face of their small rental company.
But that wasn’t the end, there was one more trick the power couple had up their sleeve.
~
A Hui Hou
With there being a slight dip in the housing market, Darla and Murphy received the opportunity of a lifetime.
After saving up, the couple ran into the same landlord that sold them the property. The landlord shared how he was in a bit of a financial bind and had grown tired of managing the property from two thousand miles away. Without hesitation, the landlord mentioned how demanding Virginia was as a tenant and just couldn’t take it anymore.
So to Darla and Murphy’s surprise, the landlord offered to sell the other portion of the duplex to them for a price that fell well within their budget.
Darla and Murphy agreed to purchase the property right away, but the landlord had one condition:
“I know you guys haven’t always seen eye to eye, but all I ask is that you give my tenant till the end of the lease to move out. She’s a bit of a nuisance, but she’s been with me for over eight years.”
The couple agreed to be fair. In less than two weeks, Darla and Murphy closed on the property. News of a change in ownership found Virginia quickly, but she didn’t know who bought the property until she heard knocking on her door.
The look on her face said it all when she saw Darla and Murphy standing there.
“What the hell do you want?” Virginia snapped.
Her nasty attitude no longer bothered the power couple.
“We just wanted to swing by and give you this,” Darla handed Virginia their information, not as her neighbor, but as her landlord. She smiled as she watched all the color drain from Virginia’s face. “Rent is due Friday and your lease is up in July. Aloha!”
Darla and Murphy smiled at Virginia before they left her speechless at her front door. Patience brought them a long way. It was cool to think that they not only were getting rid of the worse neighbor they ever had, but they were buying her house too.
~
