Bad dates are to be expected when searching for a genuine connection. It’s just a part of the dating game. However, these folks’ dates were so bad, they got up and left halfway through! This content has been edited for clarity.
“Honest Man”
“15 minutes into my first date with a guy I had been talking to, I noticed he was sitting on his hands. I wondered if he could be hiding something. So I decided to surprise him with an unexpected question in the middle of our conversation.
Me: ‘So how long have you been married?’
Him: ‘Ummm…. Ummmm…’
Me: ‘And how many kids do you have?’
Him: ‘Ummm… I’m really uncomfortable now.’
Me: ‘Oh, why are you so uncomfortable?’
Him: ‘Ummmm… I can’t answer your questions.’
Me: ‘It’s no big deal. You can tell me. Have you been married for 5 years or ten?’
Him: ‘It’s been ten years. As you see, I’m very honest and straightforward. I would never lie to you.’
Me: ‘Oh okay. If you never lie, does your wife know you are here?’
Him: ‘No, it’s none of her business.’
Me: ‘Okay, how many kids do you have? And how old?’
Him: ‘I have one. He’s five years old.’
Me: ‘Okay, you can go now.’
Him: ‘What?’
Me: ‘I don’t date married men. I don’t play with other people’s toys. So, you can go now.’
Him: ‘Why? I was honest with you. I am a simple and straightforward man.’
Me: ‘If you were honest, you would have let your wife know that you wanted to date other people. If you were straightforward, you would have told me you were married before we met so I could make an informed decision about whether to meet you. Instead, you are crooked, dishonest, and married. Not exactly a bundle of traits that makes you a catch.’
Him: ‘Huh?’
Me: ‘Nevermind. Which one of us is leaving, you or me?’
Him: ‘I am still working on my drink.’
Me: ‘Okay then, I will go.’
The next day, the adulterer sent me a text:
Him: ‘I have never been treated so badly in my whole life. I guess it’s over between us, and it’s time for me to move on. I was completely honest with you, and there’s nothing wrong with a married man meeting a woman for a drink if they just want to hit on each other.’
I never replied, but the thought bubble above my head contained one word: Uneffingbelievable!”
Catfished
“It was November 1998. The good ol’ days of AOL and online chat rooms. I ‘met’ this guy named Eric who was a friend of a friend. He told me we had actually met at a mutual friend’s party some months back but I didn’t recall meeting him at all. I had met many people that night and none of them stood out in my mind.
We seemed to hit it off really well so we made plans to meet up. We exchanged numbers, email addresses, and photos. I should’ve known something was up whenever I wanted to meet up and he always had some sort of excuse.
Fast forward to 3 months later. I wanted us to meet in a neutral location because hey, despite chatting with this guy on the phone and online, I didn’t know the guy. I chose a bar that my friend worked at just in case anything funny happened.
Well, we’re due to meet up at 7 PM. I get there at about 6:30 PM and am chatting with my friend, who’s bartending. I explain to him that I’m supposed to meet someone who I’d been chatting with online.
As I glanced down at my watch, I saw that it was about 6:55 PM. I found a table and waited for Eric to show up. I told him what I’d be wearing. I’d also sent several pictures so he’d know what I looked like. 7 PM comes and goes. I’m still waiting trying to figure out what happened. I’m thinking maybe he got stuck in traffic or on the train.
At about 7:20 PM, this guy comes in and walks over to the table where I’m sitting at. I look up but don’t give him a second glance because it’s not Eric. He also doesn’t look familiar so I don’t give him a second look. This guy chooses to sit at the table next to me. All of a sudden, he gets up and stands in front of the table.
Him: ‘Could I buy you a drink?’
Me: ‘No, thank you. I’m actually waiting for someone.’
Him: ‘Are you waiting for Eric?’
Me: ‘Yes. Do I know you?’
Him: ‘I’m Eric.’
Me: ‘What?’
Him: ‘I’m Eric. You’re waiting for me.’
Me: ‘No you’re not. You don’t look anything like the guy I’m waiting for.’
Him: ‘Isn’t this who you’re waiting for?’ (Shows me the picture of the guy I thought I was supposed to meet)
I was speechless. I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do! He started talking but I was having a hard time processing because I couldn’t understand why the guy in front of me sounded like the guy I’d been chatting with on the phone but looked nothing like the picture he sent. Come to find out, Eric had sent me a picture of his cousin, Mike.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was catfished!
I remember him talking and I wasn’t paying attention. I was so disgusted that someone had sent me a fake picture and pretended to be someone else. I think I sat there for about 15 minutes before I finally got up to leave. It took me that long because I couldn’t comprehend why someone would do that.
Here’s the thing, Eric wasn’t unattractive. I thought he was really funny and had a great personality but I couldn’t get over the fact that he sent me someone else’s picture. I felt betrayed. I also felt like if you’re going to lie about something like your picture and what you look like, what else are you hiding? That’s why I’ve never been a fan of online dating.”
I’m Onto You
“One of my friends introduced me to his friend from school. I met her a couple of times when I was in school but I never said ‘hi’ to her. She knew who I was because I was pretty popular in school. We met at a pretty popular coffee shop by our school. In the beginning, we talked about school and career.
Then we talked a lot about our country, immigrants, and their hardships because we both came from Asian families. Everything went very well; I really liked her because she was very intelligent, calm, etc. Then we started talking more about our personal information such as family, house, and such, It is fairly normal for an Asian-Asian date to be a bit ‘materialistic.’ I am also an open-book type of person.
Then our conversation started to shift toward me because she kept drilling deeper into my personal stuff. I felt as if I was in a job interview and she was scanning me. I did not mind sharing some of my personal information during a first date but it started getting too personal. Also, she was more interested in my information than me; it was a very weird vibe. That’s when I realized what she was really up to so I decided to expose her.
Me: ‘When are you going to ask me about my citizenship status?’
Her: (paused a bit) ‘Oh I did not mean that.’
Me: ‘It’s okay. I will do the asking then. Are you on a student Visa?’
Her: ‘Yes, I am.’
Me: ‘You are a great person, and I really like our date so far, but I will make this very clear. I do not fall for the ‘love me for your green card’ trick. You saw me in school; I am a lot smarter than I look.’
She was speechless. I stood up, paid for our drinks, and left. She was an international student looking for a ‘free’ green card by getting married to a U.S. citizen. I know so many ‘green card’ hunters, so I can sniff them out so fast.”
What’s On Your Mind?
“I met a girl online and to my pleasant surprise, she was as pretty in real life as her profile was. Plus, she was tiny. She must have been all of five feet tall if that. She also had a Russian accent that was intoxicating. The minute we began talking with each other in the coffee shop of our initial date, I sort of fell for her. She made me nervous, that’s how wonderful she seemed to me.
Nothing overtly romantic happened on that first date. We just got to know each other a little bit. Enough to set us up for a second date, at least. And a third, and a fourth. The only weird thing was that she always seemed secretive about something. I was never sure what it was. She’d randomly just look off in the distance.
Looking back, I suppose there were other signs too. She was very quiet about how she spent her days. And she never invited me back to her place. She told me about her time in Russia, and about how glad she was to be living in Canada. After about six months together, we went to a restaurant. Again, she got that far-off look. I put my fork down and called her out on it.
‘What’s wrong? What’s on your mind?’ And then for some reason, I added, ‘You look like you’re married with six children or something.’
She turned and looked at me. Her face went absolutely white.
‘Well, I don’t have any kids…’ she started.
With that, the communication dam broke. She hurriedly explained that she was married to a medical scientist. She told me about how his work keeps him so busy and that he’s almost never home. She told me how discontent she was… yadda yadda.
All I heard was, ‘I lied when I put up my profile, saying I was single. And I am cheating on my husband with you.’
I don’t recall saying anything at all to her. Instead, I pushed my still-full plate back, asked the server for the bill, paid it, and said goodbye to her.”
