Pretentious people are everywhere— in public, at work, and even in your own inner circle. These people expose the most arrogant person they encountered. Content has been edited for clarity.
The Missing Diamond Ring
“One summer, when I was in college, I worked at a country club. We had a bit of a crisis once when soap had not been ordered for our locker room so we grabbed some of the pine-scented ‘manly’ soap from the men’s and replaced the soap in the ladies showers. When I did that, I found a large diamond ring in the soap dish. I turned it into the manager and didn’t think much about it after that.
When I returned to work the next time, the manager handed me an envelope that contained a $20 ‘Thank-you’ from the woman who had lost the ring. He then mentioned who she was, told me how much it was worth (which sort of identified the diamond as being of the large but crappy quality variety), and that she wanted to thank me personally. I recognized the name. I knew her. She could be kind of unpleasant, and I knew she had a son who was attending the same university I was.
She came by and thanked me for finding the ring. I told her I was glad she had it back and thanked her for the $20.
She then said, ‘You would have done better keeping the ring!’
I thought it was a little weird that she was calling me stupid for having been honest in a way that benefited her, but in an attempt to be cordial, joked, ‘Well, I did see tuition floating before my eyes, but I figured the person who lost it would be missing it.’
She replied, ‘That ring would have paid for several years of tuition!’
Well, at that point, I was done being nice. I was attending a selective private university, the same one her son was at, and I knew it had never occurred to her that the towel girls might have more going on in their lives than thrilling summers in the locker room. And I had been told what the ring was worth.
I smiled, shrugged, and said ‘Not at Northwestern!’ and took more pleasure than I probably should have in watching her go pale.”
Simone’s Wedding
“It happened at the wedding of my co-worker Simone. She spent months bragging about her upcoming wedding, from the fancy country club where the reception was being held to the designer dress she would wear.
The dress was corset style and at least a size too small. Simone passed out during the ceremony because it was so tight. She had to be revived and have the bodice loosened.
The wedding was at a beautiful country club, but I left the reception early after I was charged for the soda I ordered. Yes, only water was included and all other beverages were charged to the guests. I heard later that the night ended rather early.”
Horrible Pet Owner
“I was traveling by plane and had a layover at the LAX airport. I had a few hours until my next flight.
Like most, I had to use the restroom. There was a line. While I was waiting, I watched a well-heeled yet in a tracksuit, blinged-out, in her twenties, a blond-haired woman at the washstand.
She was giving off her, ‘I’m a bored rich Cali-party girl’ vibe as she adjusted her make-up. Near her feet was a blinged-out pink and leopard-spotted small pet carrier. She had taken out this little papillion dog to let it exercise and go to the bathroom. This dog was running around between people’s feet and everyone was trying to be careful not to step on it.
The dog peed and pooped. On the floor, with no puppy pad or even paper towels. She looked bored as she scooped up the dog and stuffed it back into its carrier. Fluffed out her bangs in the mirror and walked out. Leaving the mess behind. Myself and two other ladies, who were also watching, looked at each other dumbfounded.
We laid down some paper towels over the mess and informed the attendant. I felt so bad. To this day I had never seen anything as obnoxious or pretentious as that.”
Drunk Sister-In-Law
“I once had one of my sisters-in-law tell me how I didn’t deserve my home, my children, or my pet because I was not good enough for them, and that I deserved financial difficulties.
A few years back my siblings and our families took a joint vacation to the shore and stayed in one of those very large houses. As a side note, it was really out of our budget, but because there were so many of us and we went off-season, we got a good rate. It was still almost all of our family’s Christmas budget and a good chunk of our tax return, but we really wanted to participate in a big family vacation, so we made the sacrifice.
One night, while the kids were either in bed or playing video games, and the men were in watching a basketball game, I found myself in the poolside hot tub with two of my SILs. We were drinking, and I was pleasantly buzzed. One of my SILs was quite a bit drunker – she was at that stage, where you start saying what you really think, with no filter. I’m not sure how the conversation got there, but somehow it turned into my drunk sister-in-law reading me the list of everything I do wrong in her eyes. This wasn’t a ‘God, you’re driving me crazy, will you please stop your annoying habits!’ kind of list. It started with complaints about the vacation.
She hadn’t wanted to stay in the house we ended up choosing (by vote). She thought it was my choice, and that I convinced everyone to side with me. In actuality, I had voted on the same house she did, and was disappointed as well, but didn’t say anything. I was too excited for the trip. She insisted I was mad that I got the ‘Bad’ bedroom (we drew straws, and I got the only room with no balcony or view). I said that although I was initially disappointed, I was happy because it was very quiet. Everyone else was complaining about kids making noise. She insisted I was mad at everyone because of it, and refused to believe otherwise. Then she didn’t like the way we all pitched in for groceries and had group meals (that WAS my idea).
She wanted each of the (5) families to buy and cook their own meals every night. In the same kitchen. Instead, we had agreed to pay a set amount per adult with a sliding scale for kids, based on age and appetite and all cook together. She wasn’t mad at what she paid, but felt that one other couple was robbed, because their small children didn’t eat much (not only was this the couple with the most money, they didn’t complain, and actually paid very little towards food for the kids).
When I commented that I had paid $70 over the agreed-upon grocery amount, because I went and bought basics (milk, bread, eggs, bacon, etc) for breakfast for all 20 people the night we got in, she declared that was good, because I deserved to pay more. The reason? Because I had gone to a family destination wedding with my husbands’ family in Italy three years earlier (STILL paying that off!), so I was never allowed to complain about money ever again. Yes, I confirmed that. I went to Italy once, so I wasn’t allowed to have money problems.
After that, it got really personal. I don’t deserve my house or my big backyard (her home and yard are very small) because I’m not a good enough housekeeper, and we don’t take good enough care of the lawn. I don’t deserve my children because I’m not a good enough mother (she has one and can’t have anymore, I have three). I don’t deserve my dog (a rescue with bad hips) because I don’t walk her enough – I just let her run around freely in my large fenced backyard. There was more, but those are the ones that stick in my head.
It didn’t matter that I work two jobs, have a type one diabetic, bipolar husband who had been having major issues with his medication, and three young kids, two of whom have ADHD, and was struggling financially because of my husbands’ medical bills. It didn’t matter that I live in a constant state of putting out one fire after the other. What it boiled down to was that I had a larger (1500 sq. feet) house, a bigger yard (it really is – hers is tiny), the number of children she wanted, and I had gone to Italy (her dream vacation), and I didn’t deserve any of it.
I know it’s all jealousy, but it’s the most pretentious jealousy I can possibly imagine. I really hope one day to work up the nerve to ask her what she thinks I do deserve.”
Friends Trip or “His” Trip
“I took a trip with a friend in 2009 or 2010. We visited some national parks and such in the western USA and did some work while we were on the road. After the trip, he posted pictures of himself and ‘his’ trip on Facebook.
I didn’t realize what he’d done until I read his own mother’s knowing comment (which he was too dense to pick up on)— ‘It almost appears that you were alone on the whole trip! Looks like you guys had a good time.’
He had cropped me out of every single picture that he posted.”
