From changes in behavior to unexplained absences, that sickening suspicion of an unfaithful partner can wreak havoc on relationships new and old. These scorned lovers share the moment they realized there was another person involved and how they confronted their two-timing partners.
All content has been edited for clarity.
We Need To Talk
“Early last year, my wife asked to sit down and talk. I sat there and waited patiently for her to share what was on her mind.
‘I love you but I’m not in love with you,’ she said this with no emotion.
This was a complete shock to me and I went into a panicked ‘fix-it’ mode where I tried to figure out what I could do to repair the relationship I had been so sure was solid as a rock. In my naivete, it had not yet occurred to me that there might have been another man.
A few days later, after a lot of talks, she told me that she wanted to try again with our relationship, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt like we were finally back on the right track.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
She started spending nearly all of her free time in her crafting room on her computer. She never wanted to spend time with me. My wife also became very protective of her phone and started using a PIN to protect it which was something she had never done before.
We used to share a Dropbox account. One day I opened it to find a picture that made time stand still. How could I have been so blind?
The picture was of her boss on a recently uploaded file. There was nothing racy about it or anything. It was just a basic smiling picture, but this of course set off a major alarm in my mind.
Then, next to that picture, there was a document I didn’t recognize. It turned out to be a huge compilation of love notes they exchanged over months. I remember trembling after reading page after page of their relationship in nauseating detail. They had started out with an emotional affair that progressed to a physical affair, with some of those liaisons occurring in our house when I wasn’t there.
I confronted her and divorce proceedings soon followed.
It still boggles my mind that she put that stuff on our Dropbox account. One possibility is that she actually wanted me to find out, but I really don’t think so. I think she actually created a personal Dropbox account and mixed up the two, placing the documents in our shared one instead of her personal one.”
You Rang?
“I was married for about six months but soon felt that something just wasn’t right.
One day, she and I were driving in her car to her parents’ house for an event. Once we got there, I dropped her off and said I wasn’t feeling well. I informed her I was going to go back home instead of staying.
On my way home, I stopped at a grocery store parking lot and tore her car apart.
That’s when I found a cell phone hidden behind the trunk liner. I turned it on and found dozens of messages between her and a name that was all too familiar.
All of them were texts she had been sending to her boss saying she missed him and that she was on her way to their various rendezvous. All the times she said she was meeting her girlfriends for lunch or something random, had actually been the times my wife and her boss were together instead. I later found out that he bought the phone for her as well.
I called the number and he was surprised it was me, her husband, on the other end. I chewed him out but he played dumb. In anger, I told him he could have her. I was so done with her. I called my ex-wife from the same phone and told her I found her phone, and not to bother coming home.
It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. What I suspected for months was finally out in the light. I knew I wasn’t crazy. I went to Walmart and bought new deadbolts for the house.
It turned out she had been sleeping with her boss for at least six months prior to our wedding as well. I could not understand why she even married me.
I wished I had access to GPS trackers back then like we do now. That would have made things so much easier. It would have been so much better to confront them at his house or at a motel. Oh well.
Once we separated and I filed for divorce, her maid of honor that was in our wedding reached out to me. The next thing I knew, we were having drinks and began to date shortly thereafter.
My ex-wife HATED that. Bonus.”
Something’s Just Not Right
“It was all about the bathtub.
“Because of the age and needs of our son, my wife and I agreed to care for him in rotating shifts. I would go to work in the mornings and return in the evenings to care for him while my wife worked nights and cared for him during the day.
Before she went go to work, she would shower, get dressed, and then I would drop her off at her job. There were some co-workers that lived near us, and she could always get a ride home at the end of the shift, sometimes late evening, but sometimes it was early in the morning.
After several months of this schedule, her pattern changed. We were already having complications spending time together as a family with this schedule. The last thing I felt okay with was her odd behavior when she actually was home. In addition to her showering before work, she started taking a bath after work.
Her job was working in a check clearing house, so she wasn’t doing hard labor of any kind. Naturally, I wasn’t sure what to make of the change. From now on, I always trust my gut. Whenever I asked her how long she would be working, she became more elusive by saying they had taken over another department and the workload was growing and other vague, elaborate excuses.
Each time she came home later, she would always take a bath before she came to bed. After another night passed with this change of behavior, the following evening I called her at work. What her coworkers told me only made my suspicions grow.
They said she had finished up over an hour before and had left to join co-workers for a party. Yet, I heard no word from her. She didn’t come home until after midnight. I began to have a sickening feeling about what was going on.
I confronted her one night with what I had found out, and my suspicions. She ended up confessing that she had been having an affair with some guy at work, and was spending a couple of hours with him each night.
Long story short we split up. I filed for divorce and for custody of my son. In the end, I won. Sadly, within a couple of months, she stopped contacting our son, even on his birthday. I could never find a way to tell him why his mother didn’t love him.
My heart broke for him each time he would get ready to see her, and she didn’t show up.
To this day, the story is still hard for me to share.”
It’s Business
“When I was eighteen I dated a guy that was twenty-two. He was the first boyfriend I ever considered marrying. We had been together for over a year, lived about four hours away from each other in the city, and since I had a more flexible schedule, I’d be the one taking the long commute to visit him.
A week after celebrating my birthday with him, I visited him again at home, where he told me that he had been really busy at work for the past few months and could be up for a promotion due to good performance.
In his excitement, he accidentally mentioned he would sometimes give certain customers ‘special treatment.’
When I asked him what he meant by it, with no hesitation he told me just how ‘devoted’ to his job he really was.
He shared that he would have intense make-out sessions with his customers that he took out on movie dates.
When he said this, he had this expectant grin on his face that said, ‘Where’s my high-five? I’m such a stud!‘
Of course, I was furious, and asked him what if I did the same to him, how would he feel?
His response was, ‘You can’t do that to me, you’re just a woman. I’m a man who has needs.‘
No arguments were necessary. I dumped him right then and there and left.
After that, he kept calling my home telling me how painful it was for him to be dumped and that I was probably ashamed of him because I was getting a degree from one of the top universities in the state. He went on to say that I probably wanted a wealthier boyfriend all along. He never apologized for his infidelity.
I never entertained his childish behavior. I listened to him make excuse after excuse without saying a word, then kept putting down the phone, until he finally stopped calling.”
What’s In The Bag?
“My wife and I were headed upstairs to bed but I had a sneaky suspicion. She left her purse downstairs and I decided to use the opportunity to take a dive.
Prior to this, my wife was on social media constantly. There was always some guy I didn’t know commenting on each of her pics and recipes and my wife would always be active on his page. His comments were from Omaha, Nebraska.
Prior to searching her purse, the commenting had all of a sudden stopped. I suspected my wife either finally realized that it had gone too far and cut him off or it had become a more serious thing.
So, there I was, going through her purse. I found a receipt for food from the Atlanta airport. My wife worked for a big company in Buckhead and the receipt was only for one meal so I thought nothing of it because it was completely feasible that she simply got a bite to eat while picking up a client from the airport.
I continued to dig and found a keyholder from a hotel. I instantly knew something had happened at that point. I searched the hotel name in Google Maps for somewhere in Atlanta. The only hotel that came up was in Nebraska. I thought maybe I misspelled it so I searched in Atlanta again. When the only hotel that matched popped up in Nebraska again, I knew what had happened and who it was.
My wife had been telling me she needed a break to miss me and lied about going to stay at her ‘sister’s’ or ‘friend’s’ place for a couple of days. She had actually been flying back and forth, without my knowledge, to Nebraska and two other states to meet up with her lover.
I confronted her and my life hasn’t been the same since.”
Say It Isn’t So
“During a vacation to California, my wife of one year asked me for a divorce while we waited for the waiter to bring our check after a lovely dinner. We had been in a relationship for ten years in total. We were on vacation to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary.
I was so confused. She was offering no information other than she wasn’t ready to get married. This was interesting because she was the one that pushed for an engagement and planned a wedding at lightning speed.
We got home from our trip on a Saturday. I was starting a new job on Monday. She had a few weeks off while she waited to begin working for her family business. She disappeared for a few days. While she was gone, she would not answer my phone calls. I literally had no idea where she was.
While doing laundry, I found a t-shirt that had the name of a landscaping company that I had never heard of. I jumped on Facebook and looked up the business. The business owner and my wife were friends and had a few other connections.
Bingo.
I confronted her and she denied me with some of the most outrageous lies. I sat there dumbfounded. They were THAT ridiculous.
A few days later as I was getting ready for work, she showed up at the house around eight in the morning. She went up to her room, got changed, and left very quickly. I went into the bag she had set down. Inside the bag, I found a piece of paper that had been ripped off of a notepad from a hotel. The paper did not have ink on it but left a clearly visible impression from a note that was written on another piece of paper. I held the paper to the light and it read:
‘(My wife’s initials), I had so much fun with you <3 (his initials).’
I confronted her and this time she said I was crazy. She also said he wrote a note to her at some party and she said it was inappropriate and told him to scram. I laughed in her face and said, ‘ok.’
We lawyered up after that. She dragged me through a ten-month-long divorce that could have been over in a few weeks. My ex-wife stole all of my money which forced me to stay in our mutual residence as opposed to getting away from her.
The day our divorce was final, I blocked her phone number, all social media, email, and every other way she could have reached out to me. I then moved to a new city to get a fresh start. My life has never been better. I have since started a business, found a new love, got a great new job, and I’ve had the opportunity to travel.
She is still with the guy she cheated on me with from what I know. As much as I wanted to seek revenge on him, I knew his time would come, and it will.
Going through this helped me to grow. I am grateful for the experience.”
One More Chance
“I was working one night and wasn’t off until ten at night. My ex was home. This was the day before our two-year anniversary. I was given the following day off and made some plans for us to have fun.
Thirty minutes after nine that night, she called to inform me she had to go to the store to pick some stuff up. I also needed a few things and told her I’d meet her there. She said ok. I showed up fifteen minutes before ten but she was nowhere to be seen.
I called her but did not get an answer. I texted her but there was still no answer. I drove to the bar just up the street to see if maybe she stopped for a drink. Nothing.
I then decided to go home. She was not there either. Finally, an hour before midnight, I was able to get in touch with her. There was a lot of noise in the background, and my wife was very inebriated on the phone. I could barely make out the words she was saying. She told me that she had gone out and refused to give me any more details.
That was the last time I spoke to her that night. I waited up until four in the morning before falling asleep. I woke up four hours later and she still hadn’t made it home. While making some coffee, I tried her phone but it was going to voicemail. I had some things to do that morning at a specific time so I left about thirty minutes after nine to make it to my appointments.
Thirty minutes after I left, she texted me to let me know that she made it home. I canceled my incoming appointment and immediately went home to confront her and to find out what the heck was going on.
She claimed she went out, got messed up, and stayed at a friend’s house.
I didn’t buy any of it but decided to leave it alone to allow myself time to cool off. She had a history of making stupid decisions and had a terrible addiction to adult beverages, so it was a feasible scenario.
The next night she passed out after having a few too many again, so I did something I had never done before: I took her phone.
I went through her texts and found the guy she was talking to. She had texted him for a couple of weeks and earlier that day she had asked if he enjoyed their ‘time’ together.
I called my father and ended up meeting him at a local restaurant. My father was heartbroken about the situation. He began to discuss what I wanted to do about it with me. I decided to try and work it out. He respected my decision, but let me know he was there for me.
The next morning, I confronted her. She was ashamed of herself and very apologetic. She was ugly crying, snot running down her face and all. I told her she can never talk to the man again. She agreed, and things were fine for the next couple of weeks. She became more attentive and appreciative of me.
Then one day while I was home, she frantically texts me asking if I can pay her phone bill because it was going to be shut off if she didn’t pay it that day. I said sure and she gave me her login information.
The first thing I noticed was her usage was insanely high. The second thing I noticed on the bill is the number for the guy she claimed to have stopped talking to. Not only did I not pay her bill, but I didn’t even give her notice. All the bills and the lease for our place were in her name. I called my dad and we FRANTICALLY moved me out with his small crossover and my sedan over the course of six hours.
We finished just in time for her to get home, see that I moved out, and then she realized she couldn’t text me or call me because her phone got shut off at the end of the business day.
It was the best decision I ever made.”
“Are You Going To Tell Her?”
“It was right before I went to college. I was with who I honestly thought was the ‘Dream Guy’ in my life. He was a tall, wonderful musician that had a great job and a bunch of other stuff going for him. We made plans to get married when I returned from a year of college. I really loved him. His father was a well-known speaker in our community. His family treated me as though I was their own.
I was sitting on his phone on the couch editing a picture that I took of the two of us. It never once occurred in my mind to ever snoop on his phone, and I never did. But as I was editing away, a message popped up from a girl that we both knew named Sarah that read:
‘So, are you going to tell her?’
I thought it was a strange thing to say. I got suspicious for the first time in our relationship and clicked on the message. The entire thread had been deleted. I replied to it by saying, ‘Tell her what?’
‘You know what.’ The response sent a chill down my spine.
I put the phone down and my mind reeled. John came back downstairs and I played it really cool. We went for dinner, and I told him what I saw. He obviously knew because by then, he would’ve seen that I responded to her. I told him to come clean. He made up some bogus story about how it was a message regarding work. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because again, I loved him. I thought he was honest an person, and I was painfully naive.
About two months later, I was walking at the river with a mutual friend. She casually asked about our relationship. I told her it was going really well. What she said next would change everything.
She said it was ‘so forgiving of me to stay with John despite what happened between him and Sarah.’
What? I stammered. Apparently, everyone knew they shagged, except for me. How that was even possible was beyond me. Granted, I had a lot going on in my life and stayed pretty occupied. So I guess it just slipped passed me. It was mind-blowing.
Anyway, this friend I was walking with was somewhat friends with Sarah. So I told her to call Sarah on the phone so I could ask for the truth from her.
Sarah confessed and apologized. Somehow, I remained calm and told her it was OK.
It wasn’t like she owed me anything. Then I called John, told him I’m coming to his house to get all my stuff, and instructed him to burn everything that has anything to do with us as a couple. After that, I never saw him again.
Actually, a few times I did run into him in the community. I just pretend I didn’t see him.
This was all four years ago. I carried on with my life and didn’t have any romantic relationships for two of those years. Then one fateful day, I met someone really special. We fell in love, dated for a year, and got engaged.
The best part?
The man I’m marrying is Sarah’s older brother.”
Cold Hearted Woman
“My ex-girlfriend was having issues with the cleanliness of her yard. She called me in a panic and told me her neighbor was upset because the trash was building up and giving him issues with selling his house.
I offered to come over and help her clean it up. She declined and said not to worry about it and that she would do it.
At this point in the relationship, the drama was already beginning. I agreed with her and got off the phone and went for a walk to get some dinner. On my walk home, I sent her a text that went unanswered. I figured she was just ‘cooling off’ so I let her be. Later that night I told her good night only to be left on read again. The next morning I woke up and saw I didn’t have any text from her.
I called her but it went straight to voicemail. So, I texted her daughter. I was starting to get worried because she had a steep hill in her backyard and she was moving logs. I was beginning to wonder if she fell while doing yard work.
Her daughter said her Mom is at home. Because her daughter was at her boyfriend’s house and didn’t go home last night, she wasn’t all too sure of what she told me. I decided to go over and check on her. When I turned on her street my stomach sank.
There was an unfamiliar car in her driveway. My breathing became shallow and my heart began to race. As I pulled up I saw a guy coming out of her house with her dog. She was right behind him.
My whole body went numb and I couldn’t believe it. I yelled at her to get in my car. She came over and casually sat in my car while the unknown man was going about his business, completely ignoring our interaction.
I couldn’t even talk when she got in my car, all I could blurt out was, ‘Nevermind. Just get out.’
She got out and got in the guy’s car instead. Come to find out it was her husband!
She was married and lied to me.
I stuck around for four more years of her infidelity and sea of lies, and manipulation. She never cared who she hurt. It was a fact that was hard for me to accept but it was the only thing to accept.
Thank goodness I never married her.”
You’re Not Fooling Me!
“My fiance didn’t come home on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. He finally came home the following Monday, gave me a foot rub, made supper, and told me his phone died while he was at a Reggae music festival for the weekend.
He had a new Reggae mix on his phone and explained everything he saw and ate in full detail for the three days he was absent. He even described how one lady made and sold hemp fudge in great detail, and added that he didn’t like it much. Then he told me which friends he went with.
Yeah, no. I wasn’t convinced. Nothing added up but I didn’t make an issue out of it.
The following Wednesday my yard got broken into. He wasn’t home and claimed he had to go to his mom’s house because she was ill. Again, I wasn’t convinced because I had spent the day with her, and she seemed fine, but I didn’t argue.
I called him during the commotion in the yard, only to find out that his phone was off. I called his aunt, and she said he hadn’t been home.
Thursday morning, I finally got him on the phone and he insisted he was home. I insisted he wasn’t. Then I got a surprise text from someone asking me if I knew he was buying baby stuff. I confronted him, but he denied everything. Then he called an ex-colleague of his, to verify.
This was the same colleague that went around telling people the child she was carrying was his. Anyway, she denied everything.
The thing was, he called her from memory.
Her number wasn’t stored. He hadn’t seen or heard from her in ‘almost a year’. They were never really ‘that close.’ Yet, he called her number from memory.
To add insult to injury, I went on social media, and there she was, wearing a sweatshirt I hadn’t been able to find for two months.”
