It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, for some of us anyway. All it takes is one blunder on the magical day of Christmas for it to go down in history as an unpleasant experience that comes back to life to haunt us every year. In this segment, family members reflect on the unforgettable moments when they realized their Christmas joy was stolen by the unlikeliest Grinch.
Content has been edited for clarity.
Carol Of The Bowels
“We went on a skiing trip with my friend’s family the day after Christmas. I’d never been on a ski trip before, and I was nervous.
I still remember driving in their wood-paneled station wagon, sitting in the backseat in my snowsuit, en route to Stowe which is essentially a ski town in Vermont.
Everything was going fine until suddenly I felt a rumbling in my gut. I had to go to the bathroom right away. It was one of those situations where you just KNOW that your body is about to explode.
However, I was too shy to ask my friend’s stern dad to pull off the highway. To make matters worse, I was wearing about four layers of clothes thanks to my overprotective mother. This did not include long underwear and snow pants.
I tried to think about something else, but the way my stomach was humming Christmas carols foreshadowed an impending disaster that would follow me for the rest of my life.
I attempted to fart, but instead, out came my grandmother’s holiday casserole in one long gurgle on the inside of my snow pants and down my leg.
The strange thing was, I was wearing so many layers that the poop didn’t drip out onto the seat. Instead, it just stayed inside my big, balloon-ing pants for FOUR HOURS until we got to Stowe. This was all because I was too shy to speak up. I am sure they smelled something horrible but nobody said a word.
Once we got there, I ran into their ski house, peeled off my clothes, and rinsed them in the sink. It was mortifying.
Until today, I never acknowledged what happened.”
How The Dog Stole Christmas
“I was visiting my former in-laws on Christmas Day. Everyone in the family was there. This was an annual tradition, and much was made for the family feast. It took lots and lots of preparation.
As the meal was being prepared, different dishes were laid out on the table. When the turkey and ham were placed on the table, I noticed that my former father-in-laws’ new dog suddenly took an interest in what was going on in the dining room. His name was Otis.
Otis kept circling the table like a shark. At one point, I saw him eyeing a chair adjacent to the table as if to assess whether he could use it to get on the table.
Otis was a short, fairly ugly mutt. I liked him, even though there were times when he genuinely disgusted me. Even though he was short, he was a big dog and powerfully built.
The rest of the family was gathered in another room, but I stayed in the dining room, watching Otis like a hawk. I like turkey and looked forward to eating it.
I warned my former mother-in-law that it wasn’t a good idea to leave an unchaperoned dog in the room with the food. Instead of taking me seriously, she rolled her eyes and told me that I was being ridiculous and that the food was perfectly safe.
My former mother-in-law and her daughter kept calling me and scolding me for not joining in the festivities with the rest of the family. I tried to tell them again that someone needed to watch the dog, or he would get at the food.
They laughed at me and told me there was no way that he could get to the food on the table. After all, he was only a foot or so tall!
I think it was their laughter that made me give up trying. I shrugged my shoulders and left the dining room to join the rest of the family. Whatever happened was just going to happen, I thought to myself, trying to hide my annoyance.
Not even a minute later, a horrible crash came from the dining room. I tried to hold my composure, but I could feel a Grinch-like curling of my lips.
Everyone ran into the dining room, whereupon I heard wails of despair. People were yelling at poor Otis. The Grinch curl grew in size.
Sauntering into the dining room, I was greeted by the sight of Otis on the floor, surrounded by spilled food and the tablecloth sprawled around. To our amazement, he managed to pull down all of the food by tugging on the tablecloth. I often wondered if he did this on purpose, or if it all fell as he tried to climb up onto the table.
The Grinch curl exploded into full-blown laughter. I just couldn’t stop laughing, especially as I saw Otis tear into the turkey as quickly as he could.
The Christmas meal was ruined.
My former mother-in-law started calling different places in town to see if she could find anything open.
We ended up going to a health food restaurant. Health Food. It was absolutely dreadful.
Without a doubt, the worse Christmas meal I’ve ever had.”
Cook Your Goose
“One Christmas, back when I was married and my son was about fifteen, I decided to go all out and make a Christmas goose for dinner. I took my time with the homemade mint jelly and put together a beautiful array of side dishes. I went online and found a great recipe for my goose. It started off with a brine in the refrigerator for 18 hours. I like to think that I am a fairly good cook, having roasted many a fowl, so I was thrilled about having goose for the first time.
On Christmas Day, I prepared everything just as the recipe instructed, then placed the goose in the oven. I went on to prepare all the sides which were mint jelly, potatoes au gratin, fresh string beans with caramelized onions, a Caprese salad, and homemade yeast rolls with brown sugar and honey glaze on top.
Once everything was finished, I set a beautiful table with our finest china and stemware and served a nice, slightly chilled Beaujolais. My son drank apple cider. We each took generous helpings of food and began eating
The potatoes had the perfect amount of cheese, the string beans still had a nice crunch, and the Caprese salad was so good, with fresh, homemade mozzarella.
It was all going so well until we each took a bite of the main course.
That’s when we heard the record scratch to an abrupt stop. We all looked at each other, silently wondering how to say what we were all thinking.
It’s not that the goose was ‘bad’, per se. It was gorgeous!! It had been perfectly roasted to perfection, with a nice crispy outer skin, yet tender and juicy inside. Honestly, it was a thing of absolute beauty.
The problem was none of us had ever had goose before, and we weren’t aware of how gamey it actually is. The texture was so offputting that none of us could actually eat it. Not even with the mint jelly. It actually made it worse!
So, sadly, we ended up throwing out the goose and just eating the side dishes. I felt awful wasting such a beautiful bird, but now we know that we don’t like to eat geese!”
The Case Of The Missing Presents
“I was about fourteen and my sister was sixteen. A few days prior to Christmas there were multiple wrapped gifts under our tree. On Christmas Eve, my sister and I came home to find all the presents missing. At first, we were stumped. Then reality set in.
What a Christmas this was going to be.
My mother is a heavy drinker and gambling addict. For years she would not come home and stay out at casinos gambling. She frequently gambled the social security checks my sister and I received due to my father’s death.
This time, my mother gambled her paycheck. She unwrapped the gifts and returned them to the stores to get the money back in hopes of gambling and winning it all back.
Well, as you can guess, she lost it all again. She was too ashamed to come back home. She had repossessed the gifts and lost them. So, our mother wrote a note claiming that she ran away. My sister and I found it the next morning and immediately panicked.
My stepfather had this knack for being able to find wherever my mother had gone when she was on a bender. He took off to try and find her.
My sister and I spent Christmas Eve alone, reflecting on what had happened. Midnight passed and we just went to bed.
In the morning, my mother was home, red-eyed and subtly shaking from her shame and hangover. My sister and I had stockings that had been stuffed with CVS items that were purchased last minute.
She briefly acknowledged her mistake and we never spoke of it again.”
Grandma Ran Me Over
“I was walking to my car in a CVS parking lot, far over on the left side when all of a sudden an elderly woman sideswiped me with her car. She hit me on my left hip, which developed an unsightly bruise. Thankfully I did not fall down on the pavement.
She was not driving fast at all, but she also did not stop. I ran after her and stood in front of her car. She refused to acknowledge me. I called for help and soon the paramedics arrived followed by the police, all while I was blocking her car. I managed to take a picture of her license plate. She had an old man, whom I assumed was her husband, with her and she was driving with a handicapped placard.
The police spent about 20 minutes with her and got her name, address, and insurance info, in case I needed to file a claim for my injuries. For whatever reason, they said they could not find cause to take away her license. The next day I spent hours in urgent care to get the injury documented. The bruise looked worse a week later. A chiropractic adjustment helped a lot as I felt all out of sorts.
That entire day I was struck down was mind-boggling and the next day was essentially lost due to my time in the hospital getting treatment.
The ordeal took up all the leave I had taken to enjoy the holiday season.”
It’s Always What I Wanted
“I was around ten and my two older brothers were around fifteen and sixteen. Our parents were divorced so we got to celebrate Christmas twice. Sounds great right?
Well, first we spent time with our mom because we lived with her. She got us clothes, gift cards, and a new Xbox 360 to share. With me being the youngest, I never got turns.
Then came our dad’s place. At first, it was going well. We got gift cards, more clothes, and some other small gifts. Then came the bigger presents under the tree.
My brothers opened theirs first and they got hunting weapons, a dirt bike for them to share, and an ATV. I got excited because I thought I was gonna get something similar. When my dad handed me the box, my heart sank. It was small. However, I was grateful anyways and tore away the wrapping.
As I saw what it was I couldn’t help myself and just felt forgotten.
It was a fifty-dollar art set from Walmart. I’m not a materialistic person but I didn’t even like art. Despite this, I still acted grateful and then asked what was next, thinking I would get cool stuff like my brothers did.
To my dismay, my dad said ‘that’s it.’ I felt my heart sink again.
Everyone knows Christmas is a big thing for any young kid. After we got done eating my brothers went to ride their dirt bike and ATV while I sat there trying not to cry.
Fast forward nine years later and I now live with my grandma who is very wealthy. She gets everyone in my family multiple gifts. She got me an art set for this past Christmas.
This time I found the humor in it.”
So Much To Do, So Little Time
“As we all know Christmas is typically a free day for any person, but one year my Christmas was a total mess.
So before Christmas day, my friends and I had already made a plan for the festival they were having in town. We had already planned on going to the last concert of the year where we could finally see our favorite celebrity for the first time.
After we were done chatting that evening I felt so excited because I would get to see my favorite singer perform, so I did all my house chores that night and prepared all the things needed for the next day as asked by my mom. I then went to my room to set up an outfit to wear for the concert. After that, I peacefully went to bed thinking how great the following day was going to be.
I woke up that Christmas morning in the most wonderful mood ever. I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I then went to the kitchen to find something to eat before the festival. My mom and two of her sisters were already in the kitchen preparing some of the things needed for the Christmas dinner they planned.
At first, I joined them in preparing breakfast for everyone. Then after breakfast, I helped them clean up the dining room. I told my mom the time I was supposed to meet with my friends, even though I know I told her a thousand times about it the day before. I just wanted to help her in the morning before I left, but that’s when she told me I had to help a little in the kitchen before I could go.
I reminded her again about the time I was supposed to meet my friends. She replied by saying ‘whatever.’
The time we had planned for meeting each other was 3:45 pm, but I ended up missing it all because of the work my mother had me doing.
My friends tried to call me several times just to know if I was on my way. I ended up saying I was sorry for not meeting up. I explained to them that I had been busy all day long and this led to them being extremely disappointed in me.
I left the kitchen furious. When I told my mom I had finished the kitchen she drew an evil smile and said I can go wherever I wanted to go. It broke my heart.
The worst part of all was that this made my friends stop talking to me for one whole week before. I apologized again and they forgave me, but the pain still hasn’t healed.”
“The Barf Watch”
“When I was thirteen one Christmas morning, my fifteen-year-old twin sisters Tracy and Lori and I were huddled in my bed waiting to go downstairs to open our gifts. It was a tradition and the girls would come into my bedroom in the morning and talk about gifts we gave to mom and dad, the gifts we’d receive, the wonderful dinner we’d have together later, and so on. This was just a fun Christmas morning thing we always did.
I really wasn’t feeling very good but didn’t say anything about it. I felt a little dizzy and my stomach was queasy. Finally, mom and dad called us down and we all ran to the Christmas tree to gather around it like we always did. Dad put Christmas music on the record player and mom brewed a pot of coffee. That year, Lori was the designated Santa who handed out the gifts.
‘Ok, here’s one for Tracy from Mom. Here’s a big one for Dad from Tracy. Oh, this one is for RJ from me, I want to watch him open it. You better like it RJ,’ Lori said to me smiling excitedly and watching me open it. ‘Open it, open it,’ she repeated.
Slowly, I opened Lori’s gift. The gurgling from my stomach intensified and my head started getting that dizzy feeling again. I finished opening the present and was delighted to see the gift I had been waiting all year for.
It was a military-style watch, and not a cheap one either. My sister had gone all out for me. I loved it but was feeling very woozy. I looked at her, not sure what to say as my throat suddenly got shorter.
‘What?’ She asked with a frown, ‘isn’t that the right one? That’s the one you wanted wasn’t it?’
I then proceeded to throw up all over her gift. Lori’s shirt was sprayed with the excess and more flew onto Tracy’s foot.
‘Oh my God RJ, are you okay,’ yelled Lori.
‘Not really,’ I said weakly before having another eruption over Tracy’s feet. She quickly moved back.
‘Eww,’ was all she could manage to say girlishly. She started wiping my barf off her feet with Christmas wrap until my dad threw her some paper towels. He swiftly made his way into the kitchen and brought in a mop and pail.
‘Well that’s a Christmas first,’ said Lori starting up to her room to change into clean clothes.
‘Good grief RJ, what were you eating?’ Tracy grimaced as she wiped her foot. She ran to the bathroom to finish cleaning up.
After everything was tidied up, I sat on the couch by my mom. With a bowl beside me, my sisters kept a bit of a distance but were very worried about me. We opened the rest of our gifts without mishap. My watch would from then on be called The Barf Watch.
After opening gifts, my dad said to me, ‘RJ, if you didn’t like Lori’s gift, heck, you could have just told her.’
We all had a good laugh about that. The story went down into our family’s ‘crazy things that happened to us’ archives.”
Moon Of A Lifetime
“When I was about sixteen years old, my stepmother’s father who was ninety-six lived in a boathouse on my father’s property. He had a caregiver, but for Christmas, she was given the week off.
I had a friend staying with us whose parents went on a cruise for the holidays.
My stepmother’s father, whose name was Olaf, slept in his birthday suit, unbeknownst to the family. He also wore his hair in some kind of pompadour that he twisted the long front part and secured it with a bobby pin.
My bedroom had twin beds so I let my friend sleep in the bed closest to the door. I had no idea just how eventful the night was going to be.
Apparently, Olaf got up in the night because he tried to climb into bed, without clothes on, with my friend, who screamed and woke up the whole house.
For some reason, this triggered Olaf into suddenly yelling at her that she stole his hairpin and was very bad.
In the morning this became amusing but the night before was a complete disaster.”
All For Me And None For You
“My ten-year-old niece got really upset that she wasn’t finding a lot of presents for her under the tree.
In retaliation, she took it upon herself to switch some name tags around on the presents to make it seem like all the presents were for her. Most of the kids’ presents had been hidden away because it wasn’t time to open them just yet.
When it was finally time to open the presents we quickly realized what she had done, so we let her open all these presents that were suddenly for her. Her anger grew as she kept opening things that she had absolutely no interest in. When she saw a new sewing machine meant for her mother, she began practically screaming that it was unfair.
When she opened her older brother’s new hockey gear, she had a complete meltdown. She was stomping her feet and screaming that she hated us. She even said she was going to run away and that she hoped her brother got hit in the face with a ‘hickey duck’ (hockey puck) and lost all of his teeth.
Of course, all the adults were laughing at her, which did not help in any way whatsoever. Gram then took her by the shoulders and up to the spare bedroom to show her all the presents that were for her and her cousins.
She had to go to each person one by one and apologize as the presents were sorted out. Then, she had to watch all of her cousins open their presents. She had to earn hers in order to open them, and it took her days of washing dishes, sorting the laundry, and dusting to get all of her Christmas presents that year.”
Face Meets Floor
“I did a face-plant at a Christmas event. It all happened at my local community center.
Right after I stepped down from the podium having read my brief speech, everyone had their eyes on me. It was a packed house because of the occasion. I don’t know how many people were there exactly, but I knew many visitors were there that day. Somehow, I missed the last step and tumbled down. My mind went blank as I hit the floor, hard.
There was a collective gasp as I hauled my clumsy butt out of the way and into my chair in the front row. I was mortified, to say the least. Later I looked at the damage and saw that I badly bruised my left knee and upper chest. I was lucky I didn’t give myself a bloody nose to top it off.”
