It can be a rude awakening to find out that your significant other is a sad excuse for a human being. It can be just plain annoying to find out that your friend is dating a person just as bad, yet they refuse to believe you. But when the clueless person in a terrible relationship turns out to be your own flesh and blood, that is just heartbreaking. These Redditors share stories of trying, and often failing, to convince a family member to call it quits. (Content edited for clarity)
If There Was Ever Any Need For A Fairy Godmother…
“Thankfully they are not together anymore, but for 12 years my father was with the literal embodiment of an evil stepmother.
She treated me way different than her own kids, would always organize ‘activities’ to get me out of the house, and always gave me filthy looks. One time, I turned my light back on after she had turned it off. She grabbed me by the jaw and shook my head, just to make it absolutely known that she did not like me and did not want me there.
She stopped my dad from going out to see his friends and going fishing, which he’s loved since he was six. After she found out I ‘dated’ her daughter’s ex-boyfriend (I was 10, it wasn’t even a real relationship), she kicked me out of the house. After that, she limited the times I could see my dad and would not let me stay at their house. He was also limited on how much he could help me and my mom financially, so we were dirt poor for a while.
She basically made my dad her mule for years. My whole family hated her. Even her own parents tried to talk him around. It only ended when she left him for another man, who she married after six months. Last I heard, she is treating his kids in the same way and they all hate their dad now. They do not see him anymore.
My dad loves to talk about how much of a brat she is now, but she was an angel for 12 years before that!”
The Third Time Is Not Always The Charm
“My little brother just got married and my family is not pleased.
His wife is 22 and this is her third marriage. When I tried to talk with my brother about why that concerns me, his response was, ‘Oh, don’t worry – both of her marriages together lasted less than one year!’ as if that meant they didn’t count or something.
The timeline of her second marriage is also super weird. Her second husband left her last June and started filing divorce paperwork, but she refused to sign it until November. Meanwhile, she was dating yet another dude before she dumped him for my brother in November. This girl has never been single for more than a month or two in, at least, a two year period that has involved three different guys and two marriages.
On top of all of that, the way she treats my brother is awful. As a family, we will piece together little bits of information as things go. For instance, my brother went to see his childhood best friend who had just returned to our hometown. After 20 minutes together, she called him saying that she needed him to come back immediately or else she’ll have to drive wasted to get home. He left.
There have also been several cases of her getting blackout wasted and showing up at his place at 3 a.m., forcing him to stay up the rest of the night caring for her. Then, he would skip work the next day since he could not sleep. This was all before they got married.
Since the wedding, she has yelled at him in front of my family. She has repeatedly called him ‘fat’ and commented on how unattractive she finds him (again, in front of family, so I can only imagine what gets said when they are alone). Most recently, my parents said they could no longer visit if she continued to supply our youngest brother (who is still a minor) with vaping supplies and adult beverages. Then, they bought a $10,000 trailer on credit.
My partner and I are betting they’ll be separated in two months. Here’s to hoping!”
Heil Stepfather
“My mother is married to a monster. She has been with this man for almost 12 years and married for 11 of them. He is a sociopath. A textbook, antisocial, remorseless sociopath.
In his early 20s, he nearly killed a man for being gay. He has six kids with four different women. The youngest child is my half-sibling.
He is a narcotics abuser. He also collects Nazi memorabilia.
It started with little things, such as controlling what we ate, who we were friends with, and gaslighting. Then, he got bold enough to say mean things and physically block you into a room with his body. He has always been controlling and emotionally manipulative. He has also gotten physical over the years. He would often throw things. He threw a chair at my sister for saying she did not believe in a god. He slammed one of his sons against a wall, pinning him there by his neck. He hates women he cannot control and he really hates me.
Five years ago, I was at their house and was about to eat a pomegranate. He lost his mind. He screamed at me to get a plate and that I was going to make a mess and stain the walls. He grabbed my arms. When my mom tried to stop him, he grabbed my mom and shoved her into the kitchen island. I left with bruises. He has not spoken to me since with absolutely no apology. I have had many conversations with my mother about abuse and how I do not feel safe there. I have not returned to that house since.
I now have a child of my own and refuse to let that man ever be around my son. My mom cannot go anywhere without her husband. She has only met my son once on a two-day trip that she was miraculously able to take. My mom says she does not want to take sides. She says that she loves him and that he has changed. My sister, who still lives there, says he has not. My mom does not realize that by refusing to take sides and refusing to leave him, she has chosen his side and has validated all of his actions.
Over the years, my relationship with my mother has gotten worse and worse. We hardly speak anymore. My son does not know his grandma.”
The Vocal Range Of This Woman Was Astounding
“My cousin was dating this girl in college who, at arm’s length, did not seem so bad. We had not hung out in person in, about, over a year, outside of him coming around to help my family move. The very first time he came to hang out, she called to chew him out for spending time with someone other than her. This phone call proceeded for two hours because my cousin is just way too nice of a guy to put his foot down.
A few months later, we were hanging out again. She did the exact same thing. I could actually hear her screeching. He was not even on speaker. I just silently handed him a drink and unpaused whatever movie we were watching.
It took years of her doing this kind of stuff (and myself and other family begging him to break it off) for him to finally wake up. I think what ultimately made him snap out of it was when he brought her to Thanksgiving. She would not let him spend time with any of us and then made him leave with her immediately after we ate. Not the worst by a long shot, but, man, she sucked.”
Maybe He Should Try eHarmony Instead
“My father, old and debilitated with a disease, is ‘in love’ with a cam girl from overseas. He refuses to believe that it is a total scam. It was ‘love at first sight.’
Ya, pretty sure that’s lust, but whatever.
He is even thinking of visiting her in her country or flying her out to him, all on his dime, of course, since she is a 23 or so year-old college student studying for her master’s degree. He, of course, will not fly anywhere else to see family or friends, but a woman that could be his granddaughter in age? Heck yeah.
Everybody is trying to talk sense into him, but he thinks we are just ganging up on him and preventing him from being happy. I know he is lonely and bored and can’t walk well, but this is beyond ridiculous.”
Those Poor Children
“My cousin was in high school when she met a kid in the same youth group as her. He pretended to be brokenly looking for Jesus as he supposedly had a rough life. She bought it. They got together and every time she managed to convince him to come to family gatherings, he would sit slouched on the couch, tried not to look anyone in the eye, and insisted (by whispering in her ear) that she stop talking to her family and come sit with him, usually on his lap. We found out his family was very well off and his only problem in life was that he could not get his grades up past a D. We told her he was a loser. She did not care and stayed with him.
A little over a year went by and she, being straight-A student, was thinking about college. She had been accepted into her first choice, but before the semester started, she found out she was pregnant. She decided to skip college and stay with him and their baby forever as a stay at home mommy. They had a daughter when she was still 18, and before the kid turned one, the cops were called at her mom’s house where they were all living at the time. Apparently, the boyfriend pushed my cousin through a window. It was the ground floor, so she was not hurt badly. Still.
His parents ‘took care’ of his legal trouble. After talking to her, they had her convinced it was her fault for goading him. We were all peeved. We told her he was dangerous. She did not care and stayed with him.
It had been five or six years since then and he continued to purposely and proudly get her pregnant until she had a son. They ended up with three girls in a row and, finally, 2 years ago, they had a boy. I had not had much contact with them for most of those years because he kept guilting her into staying away from family gatherings, but after her son was born, my dad died and it brought all sides of the family back together. Her boy was one when the cops were called again because someone at their girls’ elementary school reported that their parents were substance abusers. An investigation led to them losing custody, but allowed supervised visitations. She did not want to be unable to see her two youngest, especially every day, so I volunteered to be a supervisor for them.
The things I saw.
He yelled at his kids constantly. He called them stupid and annoying multiple times. He did not play with them or listen to anything they had to say. If he did play, it was rough. Just a little too rough. Mostly he just went to his room to play video games or played with his precious baby boy, apparently the only one who was smart enough for him. She was constantly trying to give the kids attention while cooking them all dinner and cleaning up after four kids. She barely had time for a shower and, even then, she asked me to watch the kids. Not him. He would not do it and whined if she tried to ask.
The oldest girl and I talked a lot. She was about 7 at the time. She would tell me how she felt worthless and like no one loved her, which was exactly how he treated her. She got the worst of it, along with her mom. I am also pretty sure that she was the one who told her school about the substance abuse. What a cry for help.
Child Protection Services found traces of illicit substances in the youngest child. My cousin and her deadbeat boyfriend (he refuses to marry her) had to go through classes to regain custody. They just finished and have full custody again, but nothing has really changed. She is going to stay with him forever, her daughters are going to grow up insecure and beaten down, and her son is going to grow up just like his dad.”
A Break In Twin Telepathy
“My twin sister and I met this guy in high school when he worked the same summer job as us. She and another coworker were both after him. He dated neither. Years later, in college, he was at the same university as a good friend of ours. Somehow, they all reconnected. He went for the friend and she wasn’t interested. He landed with my sister. He stood her up for their first date, but apologized and bought her something (flowers, earrings, whatever it was) so, apparently, it was forgiven.
Thus began an 11-year long relationship. She essentially moved into his grandmother’s house after college with him. Eventually, they moved into their own apartment, then to my parents’ house, and then they bought a house. For the first eight years of their relationship, he would sporadically not come home at night. Every time I saw him start drinking, he very clearly could not stop. He lied all. The. Time. I told her he was cheating. I told her he was drinking too much. I called him on his lies in front of her and debriefed her on them later.
She married him anyway.
Three years later, their divorce was finalized. He did not have a license because of multiple instances of driving under the influence and shocker, he was cheating.
She is not innocent. She has made plenty of terrible relationship decisions before and after him, but that was, by far, the worst. My theory is that, since he was on track to be a high earner, she completely ignored the warning signs until the anxiety from her crummy relationship and the stress of trying to cover it all up to the outside world quite literally started affecting her health.”
She Turned Him Into An Awful Father
“My brother is dating the worst girl ever. They each have a daughter from a past relationship. Her daughter lives with them and gets everything under the sun. His daughter, who lives with her maternal grandparents, is treated like an outsider when she has visits. Both girls are four. They were supposed to each get a tablet for Christmas, so I bought them each a tablet case as their gift. It was not until Christmas morning when I realized the girlfriend’s daughter was the only one to get the tablet.
More often than not, when his visit with his daughter is approaching, the girlfriend picks fights with him and he ends up not getting to see his daughter.
He only sees his daughter 50 hours out of the month, if that. It may be hard to believe but he used to be a great, very involved parent until he met this girl. She slowly started to isolate him and use different tactics as to why he couldn’t have his visits. It started by convincing him that he did not need his own car, then refusing to let him use ‘their car’ for his visitation.
Now, they have a child together. She made him quit his well-paying job with benefits to stay home with the baby so she could waitress. He decided to go to school part-time, which was an hour commute, and she refused to take care of their daughter on her days off, so he had to leave school. I also learned that, even though she gets $1100 per month in family allowance along with her pay and tips and his parental leave, they never have any money to spend on their baby. According to the girlfriend’s ex’s new wife’s best friend, the reason for this is that she has a coke habit.
She is extremely abusive with him, mostly psychologically. Although that does not excuse his behavior with his daughter, it is hard for him to see his situation from the inside. When I try to explain things to him and tell him he needs out, he fights with me and calls me crazy and says that I am the reason for all his stress. I have tried many, many times to help him understand how messed up all of this is, but as of right now, I am 30 weeks pregnant and very high risk for many reasons. I literally cannot handle the stress of it anymore. The last time he argued with me about all of this, I got so stressed that there was no fetal movement for 8 hours. I had to go to the hospital to make sure we were OK.”
The Girlfriend Who Stole Christmas
“My brother is dating a girl who has systematically torn him away from each family member one by one without him realizing it. I was the first. Then my mother. Then my younger brother. And then my dad.
He won’t communicate with anyone despite desperate attempts. He has turned into someone I do not recognize. There is not anything any of us can do about it. He is 30 and she has him so wrapped around her finger that I am scared I will never have my brother back again.
It has been two years since we have spoken and I still want to cry if I think about it too much. I miss him. I hate bringing it up to anyone who is involved directly. We just get sad about it. We don’t even do holidays anymore because it’s not the same.”
She Drove A Stake Between Her Wife And Her Family
“My sister was always clingy. She had phases in which she needed a safety umbrella, a shoulder to cry on when she had her mood swings due to different hormonal problems she had and still has. When she was younger up into her middle 20s, she was very active, very social, outgoing, and did a lot of sports (football, snowboard, kiting).
Then she met her current wife. Due to her coming out, she was highly insecure in herself and what other people thought about her. She would always worry that people would think less of her if they knew she was gay. This was brooding inside her since childhood.
Her now wife convinced her that her own family was the cause of all her problems, driving a stake between us and her. She was using psychological tricks and pathologically lying about everything, including telling people what she thought they wanted to hear. Later, we would find out her stories were completely fabricated, including her claim that she had super-hearing without proving it or that she was assaulted and stabbed and that her nonexistent scar was due to ‘good scar-healing.’
My sister and I used to be very close. Now, my sister only has contact with her wife’s side of the family. She is scared to talk to me because of my possible emotional influence on her. They married one month ago after three years together. While the wife stays home with the baby, my sister has to go to work to provide for her, with an unfinished college degree.”
Mother Of The Year
“My cousin was in the army and got someone’s wife pregnant. She had four kids, now five, and completely alienated him from the rest of the family. Everything is her way or the highway. She is a total crapbag of a human who just screams at the kids and also spoils the heck out of them. It is a weird dynamic in which they are all entitled, messy, and kind of stupid. But there is hope for the younger ones.
One of the older kids brought a loaded weapon to school, but luckily was stopped by the teacher before he was able to hurt anyone. My aunt and uncle were hesitant of this woman, but were the only stable and loving grandparents the kids have, so they really tried to embrace the kids and make it work. They ended up paying for the school shooter kid’s lawyers after his mom was constantly posting on Facebook about how stupid the judge was and how since no one was hurt, there wasn’t a problem and she’s just a loving mother. Basically, my aunt and uncle spent about $30,000 to pay for lawyers, as well as moving costs and, maybe, a house.
This woman is nasty. She always posts those gross, inappropriate memes on Facebook about being mother/wife of the year. It is very sad. My aunt and uncle are good people and this piece of poop corrupted their son and kept the grandkids away from them.”
One Person’s Trash Is Another Person’s Treasure
“My cousin was, when she first met her husband, a 15-year-old sheltered Christian who enjoyed math camps and took advanced college papers with the goal of becoming a doctor. Her then 17-year-old brand new boyfriend openly went both ways, smoked weed, and was an illiterate drop out (which we now know was due to severe, undiagnosed dyslexia) who lived alone while mowing lawns and babysitting for a living. It was pretty obvious why her family hated him. It seemed like a horrifying match on paper. His family, on the other hand, were downright racist and pro-caste, so my very white cousin did not fit their vision for their son’s future bride.
Let’s just say the engagement party (they were 24 and 27 by then) did not go well. My parents had always approved of the couple, so my mother pulled some strings so they could have their dream church wedding during a daytime sermon, meaning no room or time for family to cause a scene.
Three years later, he now co-owns a high-profit landscape business, which he had built up from his old lawn mowing gig. She had a breakdown after too many stressful hospital shifts and he was the first one to encourage her to quit and the one who recognized her then-untapped love of animation. He brings open emotion, experience, communication skills, and unfaltering belief to her life.
She gives him logic, self-restraint, and taught him to be more confident in his own skills. Watching them grow as a couple has been an absolute privilege, and I love watching them flirt like old people.”
