Dealing with a rude person can be frustrating, but sometimes a quick comeback can wipe the smirk off their face and put them in their place.
From clever one-liners to unexpected actions, these tales of comeuppance will make you smile and feel empowered. But they’re also a reminder of the importance of standing up for yourself and not letting others treat you poorly.
So sit back, and enjoy these stories of quick comebacks. Maybe they’ll even give you some ideas for dealing with the next rude person you encounter.
All content has been edited for clarity.
He Took That Surprisingly Well
“My stepfather used to love to make my life miserable. One of the ways he did this was to walk through the kitchen while I was washing dishes, plunge his hand into the dishwater and yell, ‘This dishwater is ice cold! You can’t get dishes clean in cold water. Now empty that out, make some hot dishwater, and wash all these over again!’
Since I detested washing dishes, this would always make me cry or feel defeated. Then he would smirk and walk out of the kitchen feeling very proud of himself. It didn’t matter how hot the dishwater was, it was always the same. Sometimes he’d wait until I was almost done when the dishwater was sure to be barely warm.
So one night I had had enough. I put a stockpot on the stove to boil, then poured the boiling water into the sink with some dish soap. I loaded the sink with dishes and then stirred them around a bit with a wooden spoon to make it sound like I was doing dishes. Sure enough, I soon heard him coming my way. As he walked into the kitchen, I took a step back so he could easily reach the sink. He plunged his hand into the boiling hot dishwater! His hand came out of that sink so fast, it was a blur.
He said nothing and gave no indication that he had just stuck his hand in boiling water. He just looked at me with mingled hatred and respect and walked out of the kitchen without a word. That was the last time he ever tested my dishwater.”
The One Time That Has Paid Off
“Hit the drive-thru late one night after school and hand the cashier a $20 for my $6 meal. She hands me $4 and closes her window, expecting me to move on.
But I don’t.
I knock on the window and ignore the honking behind me until she opens and asks me what is wrong.
‘The change should be $14, not $4.’ Even tone, no anger.
She tells me that I gave her $10 and is fairly adamant. When she begins to close her window I ask if I could speak to her manager.
It’s late; it’s possible that I could have handed her a $10 rather than a $20, but I have a habit that I’ve fallen into because of a similar situation.
I memorize the serial numbers on large bills before I hand them over.
The manager listens to my request for the extra ten, looks at the receipt, and notes that the girl had put in $10 as the money submitted. The girl is looking annoyed and has the classic, ‘I told you so’ look on her face.
I ask the manager to look at the top $20 in her drawer and proceed to recite the serial number.
The manager asks me to do that again and I repeat the numbers for her.
The cashier’s face is stuck in shock and awe as I’m given my correct change and an apology before driving on to the next window for my meal.”
That Came Back To Bite Him
“A friend of mine told a story about his dad going to a very posh school in the UK. This was many years ago and he said his dad was in the classroom and there was some very strict teacher, in his gown, reading the register and he had just yelled at some other boy for failing to call him ‘Doctor.’ He gave a long speech about how people must be addressed by their correct title as he has earned that respect, all with a large smirk, and then he moved on to the young man next to him who the story is about; he called out the young man’s last name and waited to hear the reply that he is present.
‘Suffolk.’ There was a pause, and the teacher repeated himself ‘Suffolk!’ still no reply. The teacher walked round to the boy who was grinning at him. ‘Why aren’t you replying, Suffolk?’ he demanded. The young man replied, ‘Because you have got my title wrong, doctor. I am the Earl of Suffolk so the correct address is My Lord.’
Apparently, this was true; my friend’s father was at school with the Earl of Suffolk, and it did indeed wipe the smirk off the teacher’s face!”
Never Underestimate Someone
“I’m a pretty quiet guy. I don’t participate in ‘Who has the biggest member’ contests.
I was invited to a party where, after some drinking, such a contest was initiated. The field of battle was arm wrestling. I wasn’t interested in participating, but after the ‘there can only be one’ alpha male had been established, someone remembered that there was still one person that hadn’t been subdued.
That would be me. So after some group pressure, I reluctantly agreed to go along. And, in front of everyone, including my girlfriend, the alpha male took his seat with a big smirk on his face in front of me.
We connected hands and the audience cheered.
I asked him to go easy on me. We started. And then silence. Yes, something happened. The alpha male huffed and puffed and became increasingly red. Sweat started to drip down his forehead. Only our arms were still.
I held my hand still with a blank expression on my face. After a couple of moments, I asked him innocently, ‘When shall we start?’ He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He couldn’t say anything, but his grin was gone. I said, ‘Okay, I’ll start.’ And then, very gently, I took his hand down to the table. Still looking into his eyes, I asked why he didn’t give any resistance.
What they didn’t know was that ever since I saw ‘An Officer and a Gentleman,’ at 14 years old, I had been working out religiously. I just didn’t feel the need to flaunt it.”
Promote Hate, Receive Hate
“I was in line at the Pharmacy today. I’ll preface by saying I have several health issues such as a severely messed up hip and a degenerative spine condition. I’m supposed to use a cane, but honestly, that makes me too self-conscious. I tell you this to say that it can be quite hard and painful to stand for long periods of time.
ANYWAY
My pharmacy is always super crowded, but oftentimes if I see someone who seems genuinely ill or is elderly, I’ll let them go ahead of me. I don’t do it every time, but if I’m a little bit stronger than usual that day I will offer.
So I’m in line and I hear a guy behind me complaining about the line on the phone. He says how badly his leg is hurting so I glance back, he’s in his late 60s and wearing a pretty hateful political t-shirt, and I turn back around quietly to wait my turn.
Perhaps he sensed my initial intention. Or perhaps he had seen me do it before (it’s a very small area, so it’s possible) but he tapped me on the shoulder, gave me a big smile, and said, ‘I’m in a hurry, can I go ahead of you?’
To which I politely replied that I WOULD but I just don’t believe in giving people handouts. He would have to wait his turn.
I gave him a huge smile and was waved over by the pharmacist. He didn’t look happy with my answer, in fact, he was full-on scowling.”
I Love That He Doubled Down
“I taught HS math. One of my students said that I made some mistakes when I graded his paper and marked some right answers wrong. He wanted me to give him credit for these answers and change his grade. I refused, saying that he changed his answers after getting the test back.
He went to the principal. The principal called a conference with both of us and asked why I felt that he changed his answers. I pulled out a photocopy of his test that I made before grading it. His wrong answers were there. He said the Xerox machine made a mistake.”
She Needed Some Bullying After That One
“A few months ago, I was at a sleepover with some of my friends and we decided to play truth or dare. I didn’t exactly get along with one of the girls there, who we’ll call ‘M.’
Anyway, I chose dare and M decided to dare me to jump out of the window, which was especially cruel because I had a friend who committed suicide that way and M knew that. I jumped out of a ground floor window instead and then it was M’s go. She also chose dare.
I dared her to go home.
And she did.
Absolutely, hands down best feeling in the world to see that petty smirk get wiped off her face. She couldn’t exactly refuse because the other girls – who were also angry about the jump out of the window dare – peer pressured her.”
He Played Himself
“I was getting fired. I knew it for sure.
They took all the power tools off of my service truck.
Told me I had to go see Bob Laublaub (not his real name) at the shop.
Yup, they’re firing me.
So I go into Bob’s office. He has a termination slip and a check he is filling out by hand, my payoff. He says, ‘We are letting you go, it’s a clean layoff.’ True to his word it was a clean ROF (reduction of force). I signed it, he already has. As soon as I sign it I am no longer his employee, so I ask him, ‘Why?’
He states, ‘We had a complaint from a customer that you were spending too much time in your truck smoking.’
‘Ohh,’ I replied and handed him his copy of the termination form.
‘I quit smoking three years ago. That sounds like wrongful termination.'”
Yeah They Needed To Be Shamed
“Once I was on the elevator with some friends. A couple brought a five or six-year-old child. My friend helped them press the elevator button very kindly. The other party didn’t even say a word of thanks, and we didn’t care about it.
When the elevator went up, the child started to make noise and jump. His parents pretended not to see him and continued to play with their mobile phones. I can’t help but tell him, ‘Please stop.’
The naughty boy bounced even harder. His parents started laughing.
So some of us, in our twenties, began to jump in the elevator too. The expression of the children’s parents changed in an instant. I’ve never wiped a smirk off of someone’s face so quickly. They were scared and scolded, ‘You are crazy! What’s wrong with you?!’
My friend replied, ‘We had bad upbringings too.’
The couple’s faces were bent like eating excrement and couldn’t speak. They quickly walked out of the elevator.”
