Life is stressful enough, but sometimes the fight for a parking spot makes us do ugly things. Folks share how they got back at the fool who stole their parking spot.
Well That’s One Way To Get Back At Them
“Came out of the club only to find a brand new Celica double parked behind me. Went back inside and informed the bartender. He knew the car. It was the assistant manager who for some reason had decided to stop by at 1 AM. He paged her and she came over, holding her drink, and said she would be right out. I went out and waited. 10 minutes later, I went back inside and complained. The barkeep paged her. Again she said she would be right out.
I waited. After five minutes, I lit a cig, took a few hits, then dropped it through the cracked open sunroof onto a beautiful leather seat. Each minute that passed I dropped another lit cig through the roof onto the seats. Do you know what a lit cig does to tan leather seats? It’s ugly and impossible to repair. There were at least 15 cigs in there before she finally came out and moved the car. Since it was so dark out and she had had a few drinks, I don’t think she noticed. I wish I could have seen her reaction the next morning.”
They Never Took His Spot Again
“I had a reserved parking bay at work, which I was very grateful for as local parking was expensive and scarce.
There had been a few instances in the past of members of the public taking one of our employee spaces so that they could go shopping and not pay the charges at the local mall. To prevent this, all our spaces were closed by chains between two metal posts when we weren’t there. I had the only key to the padlock on my chain and although the chain was quite slack it was perfectly effective to indicate this was a reserved space.
Or so I thought.
One Friday I turned up for work to find that there was a very small car in my space. The padlock was still in place, so either the driver must have got someone else to raise the chain and then scraped in underneath it, or mine wasn’t the only key.
So I had to reverse out of the lot and go hunting for somewhere else, which meant I was late for work.
As I walked back, fuming, I passed a hardware store and had an idea. I went in and bought a large new padlock. Then I went back to my space, hauled in all the slack on the chain and put the new padlock through a different link, so the chain was now tight across the back of the little car
No way could the trespasser raise it to get underneath and even if they had a duplicate key to the original padlock, it wouldn’t do them any good.
Then I went to work. At the end of the day I walked back to my car, paid the high charges and drove home.
Bear in mind this was a Friday and the following Monday was a public holiday so I wasn’t in work. Tuesday morning I got a lift into work from my husband and there was that little car, still there. I undid the new padlock and by lunchtime the car was gone.
Never did find out who took my space, but they never did it again…”
“I Won’t Park There Again.”
“This was long ago when I was young and dumb.
Our software company shared a floor with a construction firm. We had an ‘Employee of the month’ spot near the door, and one month it was mine. We’d had problems with folks from the construction firm parking there, even though it was clearly marked as reserved.
Sure enough, I came back from lunch and there was a strange car parked there. Our company was small enough that I knew everyone’s cars, and nobody would have snaked my spot.
As it happened, I was driving my wife’s beater Cutlass, so wasn’t really worried about the car. So I parked it two inches behind the bumper of the car and left a note on the windshield saying ‘Suite 200, ask for Phil’.
Then I went back to my office after warning the receptionist. (See how long ago this was? We had a receptionist!)
About 5:30 I got buzzed: ‘I think there’s someone here to see you’. I go to the front door and open it; there’s a guy in work clothes standing there and he’s steaming mad. ‘Is that your car?’ he starts.
‘Yes’, I reply. ‘Are you unable to read, or not sure which company you work for?’
He said something smart, so I shrugged and let the door close. Big, heavy, solid metal door, convincing click. Then I started counting. I got to maybe six and there was a polite knock on the door. I open it: ‘Yes?’
‘If you move it, I won’t park there again.’
‘Right.’ So I did. Problem solved!
Moral: Never give me several hours to plan my response—I might actually be ready, as opposed to kicking myself with ‘I shoulda said…’ later!”
Filing A False Police Report…On The Police?
“My friends from the police department and I took a bike trip every spring, usually to North Mississippi or Alabama. On one such trip, we stopped to eat at restaurant in a strip mall. We found two (2) adjacent empty spots right in front of the restaurant. We were able to squeeze three (3) big Harleys into each spot. After the last bike was parked, we headed for the restaurant.
Three (3) young women, dressed in business attire ran up to us. Without any preamble, the leader angrily told us to move our bikes ‘right now.’ we were quite taken aback, to say the least. They had not even entered the lot as we started parking our bikes!
The young woman, with a very angry inflection in her voice, stated that it was too hot for them to walk from the nearest available parking spot. She further stated they were on their lunch hour and couldn’t ‘waste time arguing.’ None of us had spoken a word. We just shrugged and entered the restaurant, with the young woman screaming at us. It was a Chinese buffet. We were seated and had gathered our plates when a Sergeant from the local jurisdiction entered the restaurant and approached our table. He stated the woman wanted to press charges for assault! The irate woman had told him after she had parked where our bikes were now, we had threatened her and her friends if they didn’t give us the parking spot.
My LT stood up and produced his credentials. He patiently explained what had occurred in the parking lot. He further stated he had noticed a surveillance camera on the restaurant that faced the parking lot. A smile crossed the Sergeant’s face. He got the manager to review the camera footage. He then went outside.
We were finishing our meal when he returned. He told us he showed the woman the camera, informed her of the consequences of filing a false report, and that the women had angrily departed. He assured us that would not be the end of it, and he would down load the camera for evidence in his behalf for the inevitable complaint from the woman.
Our meals were comped by the manager, so we left a very healthy tip. The manager stated in broken English ‘Hos come here every day. Always complain. Never tip. You always welcome.’”
Instant Karma
“Yes, at City Hall. I was there to get an abatement for some taxes that I was wrongly charged. I didn’t even take the front spot, but the last handicapped spot, and I still had some belligerent moron start yelling at me like I just ran over his cat. Some words were exchanged and he threatened to call the police. I gave him the middle finger, told him I’d be in the assessor’s office and to consume fecal matter. He was borderline psychotic as I walked into the building.
As I came out, the police were walking in. I stopped the officer since the psycho was with another policeman next to my car. He asked if I was handicapped, to which I said I was, explained my nerve damage and showed him my ID as we walked to my car so I could show my name and picture on the backside of the placard. Mr. Psycho tried stopping me from getting to my car whilst demanding I be arrested for a simple ticket-able offense.
The officer apologized for delaying me and told me to have a nice day. I smiled telling him I understood it was his job and that it wasn’t a problem. The problem was this prick threatening me. Meanwhile the psycho is screaming at the other cop about how useless they are for letting me go. The one I was talking to simply said, ‘So you felt threatened for your safety?’…
As soon as I said yes, he was spun around and handcuffed. It all happened so fast… Assault on a disabled person, unlawful detainment, assault on a police officer, and resisting arrest.
Forever to be known as one of the happiest and most hilarious days of my life.”
Nice To Have Friends In High Places
“Happened to me. The cheeky prick gave the finger and walked off, laughing.
So I parked close behind him and waited covertly nearby to see his reaction when he returned to his car.
About a half hour hour later he returned to find his exit blocked.
What he didn’t know was, the car I was driving belonged to a pal who just happened to have lost his license for inebriated driving, he got caught a few points over the limit so not exactly wasted. He often called on me to ferry him about.
His gym, which he owned, was in the row of shops where I had come to collect him.
The fool who had thought it smart to jump me for the parking space was ranting to the street about the way I had blocked him in, then my friend appeared, went to his car and was about to get in when gobshite began raging at him from about a metre away.
My pal was a black belt so when he went to smack me, the fool found himself kissing tarmac.
I then appeared. I helped him to his feet, he looked at me, moaning about being floored, I quietly told him, it is better not to jump someone as they are about to park, as next time someone may stick a knife in him instead of giving him a karate chop.”
A Swing And A Miss!
“Many years ago as a young college student in the 80s, I had a brand new VW Rabbit. It’s a very small car when most of the US was still driving gunboats made in the 1970s.
I was parked next to a conversion van and a block-long station wagon. With my little Rabbit parked in the spot, it looked like it was empty from afar.
Someone was waiting for my spot since they saw me walking to and getting into my car. Another car (either a Firebird or Camaro) tried to cut off the car waiting for my spot and pull in while my car was still there. She thought the space was empty. By the time she realized I was in the spot, she tapped my front bumper.
I had a metal bumper and hers was that rubber painted stuff. No damage to my car, but she lost about a dollar coin sized chunk of paint from her front end.
She had to back out and I pulled out towards her so the car originally waiting for my spot was able to pull in.
So she damages her car and loses the spot to the rightful person.”
Bad Parker And A Bad Person
“I didn’t personally witness it, but it’s too good not to share. We have a small ‘village’ shopping centre that has a handful of shops – a chemist, hamburger shop, great bakery, butcher and a pizza shop. There’s not many spots there, and often times the delivery drivers will double park to collect food orders. There’s an occasional argument over spots, but not that often. The bigger problem is a young lady who is there quite often – her dad owns the pizza shop, and he’s given her a token job there. During the early stages of COVID, she got her drivers license.
She was given her parents old beat up BMW X5 for her birthday, and thinks sunshine comes out her rear orifice because she drives a ‘luxury’ car. She often parks across two spots. The jury is out on whether it’s deliberate or she just can’t grasp what the lines mean. Twice I’ve seen her park in the single handicap spot, and get berated by members of the public for it. On only one occasion I’ve seen her pull into a spot in front of someone who was lining up to reverse in, but I’m sure she’s done it many times. The X5 has scratches all over it, and many of them look like key scratches, probably done by annoyed people
A good friend of mine runs a local auto electrician workshop. We catch up now and then. Easter weekend were at a BBQ together. He starts telling me about this entitled little cow who came in some weeks prior, demanding he fix the problems with her BMW. I knew straight away from the description it was the same person, and I suddenly took a great interest.
Apparently she couldn’t lock it anymore, and the fuses kept blowing for the tail lights and blinkers. Took him a while to trace the short in the lights – it was a a chunk of foil from a meat pie tray, folded up and jammed in the trailer socket on the rear of the car. Then he turned his attention to the locking problem. I can’t remember the exact symptoms, but it was something about the drivers door being ok, but if you tried any others, the locks would cycle up and down. He found that someone had pulled the passenger door handle out, and jammed a couple of nickels in the gap. Apparently it held the handle open enough, that the passenger door either wouldn’t unlock or lock properly, and caused the cycling.
He was only going to charge her the hour he spent diagnosing the issues. She came in with her mother to collect the car. He asked if she’d annoyed someone recently with her car, because he felt the problems were caused by retaliation. She carried on like a pork chop apparently, and then accused him of making up stories so he could rip her off. He hadn’t even told her what caused the issues, nor what the repair cost was going to be. The mother then took up the cause, saying that they design cars to fail because people who fix them need work, and how dare he accuse her of somehow bringing this upon herself. Wow, really? What a conspiracy! The continued to treat him like dirt, and added a few slurs for good measure. Showed exactly why the daughter turned out the way she did.
He decided to add the cost of a central locking solenoid on the bill before handing it over – basically doubling the total. He called it the prick tax! Anyway, that’s not the embarrassing part yet.
He’d left the coins and the piece of foil on the passenger seat. He was going to show them to her, and explain how they caused the issues, but he gave up on it after the mother/daughter meltdown. She saw them when she got in. She got back out, stormed over to the counter, threw them down, and yelled at him for leaving rubbish in her car.
When she stomped back to her car, she mis-stepped, tripped, rolled her ankle, and face planted into her car. For a couple of weeks he was worried she’d claim an assault and the cops would turn up. Karma slapped that hag!”
Hey, He Did As He Was Told!
“I had a 1972 GMC that I bought new, but it was about 20 years old when this happened. I was going to a local check cashing place to pay some utility bills. There was a pretty good size space in front for my 3/4 ton pickup. As I pulled forward and started to back in a Suburban type of vehicle pulled in behind me and scooped the space. Fortunately there was a pickup in the space in front and he moved forward so I could squeeze in. Guys my age know that the older pickups were not that fuel efficient and most of us hung big steel plate bumpers on them that stuck out a bit on the sides. This gives good depth perception when you’re backing up and protection from minor crashes.
I pulled up as tight as I could to this guys front bumper and I noticed he didn’t leave himself much room behind either. A woman got out of the passenger side and walked up the street a ways. After going in and paying the bills I returned and went up to the guys open window. I mentioned that perhaps he couldn’t tell that I was going to pull into this space. Not caring for a bit of sarcasm he told me to ‘F’ off. So I replied, ‘F off? Sure I’ll F off.’
Then walked to a restaurant that was just across the sidewalk to have lunch.
Shortly after the woman returned while I was enjoying my lunch. He talked to her for about a minute then started up his vehicle and tried to leave. However, he had a problem getting out of the space. After about five minutes they start arguing, after ten the woman leaves. The guy still keeps trying to get out of the space, but finally gives up after about 15 minutes and also leaves. So that is my cue to return to my truck and drive away.”
Time Is Money!
“I am not a vengeful person but I HAVE seen a few interesting reactions to just that. One time, I saw an elderly man trying to get into the last handicapped parking spot at the WalGreens lot I was in. Just before he was to turn into it a man in his 50s with no placard to park there zipped into that spot. He went quickly and directly into the store. It just so happened that there was a local hangout for police on shift changes in the same lot as that Walgreens. The police there met about an hour before their shift to go over their daily briefings and/or reports but sit out front at times on some of the outside tables. One such officer saw him cut in on the elderly man (who did have a placard hanging in his window) and walked over 50 ft. to Walgreens. He watched the elderly man park a few rows deep in the lot and then went to his car trunk. He pulled out a tire boot and locked it onto the front driver’s tire as to be seen by the driver when he gets in the car to leave. The officer then sat back at that table about 50 ft away. He pulled out a ticket book and started to write one up.
As the man came out with a bag of prescriptions, he looked at the boot and started cussing outloud not knowing where the boot came from at the time. He spun around in a full 360 looking for a police car, when he realized after he spun past them and focused in on the now 2 cruisers parked, and now had three officers sitting and looking over at the driver with the boot. When he saw them, he started being rude to them asking why are they picking on him for being in a spot for ‘Five minutes’ also saying that no one even would have used it in the time period he had. That’s when all 3 of them got up and walked over to him asking him ‘what seemed to be the problem?’. He snarled you know what is wrong. FIX IT. The two officers behind the one who asked the question looked at each other with a smirk but said nothing. The one engaging answered his ‘FIX IT’ demand by responding kindly to him.
He said ‘Yes sir, you are right. I do need to fix this for you. Here hold this for a minute.’ He handed him a ticket for parking in a handicapped spot and on it had a business card with Joe’s Towing on it. In the description he had written on the ticket said ‘To get boot removed call Joe’s’ When the man looked up turning red, the officer continues stating ‘They will come out and do that for you for a minimum of $75.00 but sometimes it can be up to $150.00 depending on you talk to them. They have the keys. I don’t. I wouldn’t recommend holding on to your current attitude when you call Joe’s. It could get expensive. The man saw the price now on the ticket apparently because I heard him yell ‘$125.00 for five lousy minutes??’
He kicked the boot which hurt his toes/foot and cussed himself out for hurting himself more than just in the wallet. At this point, the elderly man finally came out of Walgreens to which the officer smiled and waved to the man walking past them. I ended up leaving at that point with them still there. I still wonder to this day if that old man even knew that the guy getting that ticket was because of him getting cut off. I hoped so for the fact he could share the story with other seniors that the police really do care and will act when they see a wrong like that done.”
