Not close with your mother-in-law? It’s more common than you may think! These people recall the unthinkable moments when they realized their relationships with their MILs were broken. From lousy lies to suspicious stealing, it’s no wonder these people cut ties with their MILs! Content has been edited for clarity.
Table of contents
1. “It Was Disrespectful And Downright Unbelievable”
“My now ex-husband and I were going through a divorce and agreed to share custody of our son. I had moved out of our home because he became physically violent with me due to wanting a divorce. My ex was a serial cheater, quit jobs on a whim, and constantly depleted our savings account. I was physically, emotionally, and financially worn out.
In any event, my ex and I worked out a shared custody agreement, although the divorce was not yet finalized. We used my son’s daycare as a ‘neutral zone’ for pickups and drop-offs to avoid unnecessary drama.
During the holiday season, my ex and I had agreed that he could watch our son the days leading up to Christmas, as long as he brought him back on Christmas day.
However, my ex called and explained, ‘My new girlfriend and I are taking her kids to Disney World the day after Christmas. I wanted to take our son. Is it okay if he stays with me for another two days?’
I wanted my son home for Christmas, but I knew he would enjoy Disney with his dad. I reluctantly agreed.
Christmas came and passed, and the day arrived for me to pick up our son from daycare. I waited and waited, but his dad never dropped him off. I called my ex’s phone multiple times, but he never answered. I went to his work and found out he had quit his job the week before. My heart sank. I went to our old home, and my ex’s car wasn’t outside. I tried to enter the house using my key, but my ex had changed all of the locks. I called a locksmith and explained how I ‘accidentally locked myself out,’ and they believed me. Once inside, I noticed all of my son’s personal belongings were gone.
My worst nightmare had come true. My ex had taken our son.
I immediately called my mother-in-law, and she explained, ‘I haven’t spoken to my son. If I reach him, I will let you know what is going on.’
I called the police, and they claimed they couldn’t help because our custody agreement wasn’t finalized. So, I hired a private detective to find my husband and son. All the detective knew was where my ex had been based on credit card usage, which again, was tied to my account. I considered closing the account, but I feared what would happen to our son if his dad ran out of money.
This went on for two months. Every day I spoke with my MIL, and each time she assured me that she hadn’t heard from her son. Unfortunately, I stupidly believed her.
One night, I heard my phone ringing. It was my ex.
I picked up the phone and he asked, ‘Are you awake?’ nonchalantly.
All I could do was let out an angry, blood-curdling scream over the phone. It was so loud, my neighbors began banging on my door to check on me. When I didn’t answer the door, one of my neighbors wound up busting through the door only to find me laying on the floor, phone in hand, hysterically crying. Of course, my ex had hung up. I felt like I failed my son for not acting calmer.
Later in the week, my phone rang again. It was my ex. I dared not to speak.
He asked, ‘Are you calmer now?’
I quietly replied, ‘Yes.’
I silently listened on the phone as my ex explained his reasons for taking off with our son. He had a problem with how I loved and took care of our son, but in the same breath, how my son wanted nothing to do with his father.
I hung onto the phone and listened. I didn’t ask for clarifications, just listened for clues of where they were, and validations that my son was okay. At the end of the phone call, I figured out three things. My son was alive and well, his father had taken him out of state, and my MIL knew all along what was going on. She was trying to assist my ex in getting sole custody of our son.
I made arrangements to fly out and pick up our son the next day. Once home, my MIL called me. She dared to try to defend her actions! She knew her son had no interest in full custody of our son, he simply wanted to steal him away from me to feed into his ego.
In the end, my MIL demanded to know, ‘Will I ever be able to see my grandson again?’
‘Absolutely,’ I replied, ‘But, you will need to see me first. How could you, as a woman and mother, lie to me the way you did? You could have at least let me know my son was okay. You let me worry for three months whether my son was dead or alive. For this, I need answers. Please come talk to us whenever you’re ready.’
My MIL never visited. No cards, no calls, no explanation for her behavior, nothing. Her son followed in her path. I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to lie about the whereabouts of my child for months on end. It was disrespectful and downright unbelievable.
Mercifully, thankfully, and graciously, life went on. My son learned how to become a great person without his grandmother or father in his life.”
2. “My MIL Hated Me From First Sight”
“My husband was from Romania, and his mother came to live with us for one year while waiting for her green card. Afterward, my mother-in-law planned on spending six months a year with us in America, then six months a year in Romania. I knew she was the family’s matriarch, and my husband was her first boy.
My MIL hated me from first sight. She said the most awful things to me! In her eyes, I was too young and too pretty to be with her son. She thought all I wanted was her son’s money.
I always replied to her, ‘If you think I just want your son’s money, you have no idea what a wonderful man your child is.’
My MIL would snoop through my purse when I wasn’t looking and throw out my $40 Chanel lipstick. One of the most hurtful things she did was turn around the pictures I had in the house of my mother, who passed away at age 34 when I was 12. My MIL pitted my husband against me, and then made it out like I was setting her up and lying about it.
The final straw came when I arrived home from a long, stressful day at work. I sat down at the kitchen table to sort through the mail as usual. The downstairs of the house was considered my MIL’s ‘domain.’ I would retreat immediately upstairs to our bedroom to watch television or read until my husband came home. My MIL made him dinner every night, which I wasn’t allowed to eat. My husband would sit with his mother and have dinner and eventually come upstairs to greet me. When my MIL went to bed, we could go downstairs and watch television.
My MIL was most unhappy about how I had the nerve to sit at ‘her’ kitchen table. She picked up my sunglasses from where they sat on the table and threw them against the wall, then she would berate me in Romanian. I ignored her and continued going through the mail, which infuriated her. She stood over me and continued yelling.
My dog, a little Yorkipoo who weighs eight pounds, was very upset about this. We went through a lot together during my previous marriage, and she was still very sensitive to fighting or yelling of any kind. She stood next to my feet and began barking. As I reached down to calm her, my MIL aggressively shoved her away. Hurt, my dog yelped. I rushed out to my car with my purse and dog in my arms and left.
I called my husband at work, slightly hysterical.
I explained, ‘This is it. I am going to a hotel. Either she leaves, or I’m leaving. Pick one.’
My MIL flew home to Romania three days later. I could handle a bully, but I couldn’t handle someone hurting my helpless dog.
When it came time for my MIL to return to the United States due to her green card, I refused. Her green card was invalidated because she stayed outside of the country for too long. I didn’t know if we were going to try to sponsor her again in the future, but it never came up in our discussions.
I wouldn’t mind if she never returned.”
3.”I Felt Humiliated And Appalled”
“One time, my then-fiance and I were spending the weekend with my soon-to-be-mother-in-law. We had gotten into town late, and we were promised a lazy morning. I woke up in the morning, walked into the kitchen, and found my fiance’s ex-girlfriend having coffee with his mother! I had just woken up, was non-showered, and my clothing was rumpled. My fiance’s ex-girlfriend was all dolled up and openly flirting with him. I felt humiliated and appalled. I was intentionally informed my MIL had invited the ex over for breakfast and coffee.
Unbelievable.
Then, the day of our wedding rolled around. My MIL showed up several hours late for pictures, despite communicating how everyone needed to be on time. I just wanted to get pictures over with so I could enjoy the remainder of the day. My MIL walked in late, making a show of herself, with no apologies.
My MIL openly commented, ‘It’s so stupid to take pictures before the ceremony anyway.’
Due to her tardiness, we had to take a few pictures after the ceremony.
Later, I was told how my MIL said, ‘It’s so rude she made her guests wait to eat because she was taking pictures! She should have taken pictures before the wedding if she wanted them so bad!’
She also knew my mother was battling cancer and I was struggling to pull this wedding off alone.
Needless to say, many of the things my MIL has done have been unforgivable.”
4. “My MIL Was Truly Despicable”
“What hasn’t my mother-in-law done?
When my mother passed away in 2012, I had to clean out the house she and my brother shared after he passed away in December of the same year.
My MIL had come by my mother’s house to drop off my daughters, and I was in the basement picking up some of my brother’s belongings. While my MIL was in the house, she took it upon herself to take my great-grandmother’s mirror off the wall, put it in her car, and drive away. She stole a piece of my family’s history!
When I came upstairs and noticed the mirror was gone, my youngest daughter exclaimed, ‘Nana stole it!’
When I went to my MIL’s house to take the mirror back, she called the police and told them an unwanted trespasser was on her property. I waited until the cops arrived, and my children and I told them what had taken place. The cop said I had to take it up in court, but I had to leave the property.
My youngest daughter then ran into the house and told her grandmother something. To this day, I had no idea what my daughter said to her, but when she came out, I was given the mirror back.
This was the meanest thing my MIL ever did to me, besides telling me how she hoped I would pass away during a surgery I was receiving. She also tried to take away my children several times through unnecessary Child Protective Services investigations.
My MIL was truly despicable.”
