The Visit Ruined 30 Years Of Friendship
“I had an old friend come to visit for a few days. We went out for drinks and wings. All was going well until my wife called and told me she was picking up my prescription on the way home. He made a joke about me needing male enhancements because I just had my 42nd birthday. Almost instinctually, I corrected him and said, ‘No, it’s my ADHD medicine,’ without even thinking about the fact he used to have a healthy appetite for stimulants back in the day.
He spent the next hour trying to convince me to sell him my script for three times what I paid for it. I told him I actually take my meds as prescribed and that if he got caught with my script bottle, I could not only lose my job but my certification as well.
We made it home, had a few more drinks and nothing else was said about my meds.
I woke up the next morning and he was gone. All of his belongings were gone and his car was nowhere in sight, almost as if he had never been there. I guess in his rush to leave he ‘accidentally’ took my entire month’s worth of Vyvanse with him.
He was courteous enough to leave the bottle, however. He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and has blocked all my family members on his phone and Facebook.
I guess 30 years is easily replaced with a month’s worth of stimulants. Small price to pay in the big picture, I guess.”
House Sitting Horror
“We had a house sitter who was my mom’s co-worker while we went on vacation for a week.
During this time:
- She broke our fence. When we left, the gate by the driveway was fine. When we came back, it was nearly bent in two. My mother said our neighbor witnessed it happened and left a note describing the car and date of time in our mailbox, which, for some reason, we never got. We found out after my mom talked to our neighbor when she went around asking if anyone saw what happened. The car my neighbor saw? She described the house sitter’s car.
- Her dog pooped and peed all over our downstairs new carpet. She did not clean it up, she left it there. There was so much of it, I doubt she didn’t know about it, not to mention she had to pass it in order to get to the pool.
- Her dog scared away our senior cat for nearly the whole week. Baby isn’t an outdoor cat. She hates the night. When she does go outside, she stays by the door despite us having an acre of land. This lady brought her dog over, which would bark and freak her out. Our other semi-outdoor cat stayed away for that period too. When we came home, we couldn’t find either of them until the next day when they turned up, both very relieved, hungry, and stressed.
- She let her dog in my parent’s bed, which was not allowed. She had both her dog and our dog up there and even sent a picture to us, to which we responded with ‘….? What are you doing?’
Yeah. We did not invite her back to our house.”
Apparently, The Roommate Didn’t Think It Was A Big Deal
“In college, I shared an apartment with three other people. I have tons of stories. One time, I was cooking dinner when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a kinda shady looking guy I’d never seen before with a backpack.
I asked, ‘What’s up?’ He tried to just walk around me, but I didn’t move. I asked again, ‘Can I help you?’
Then he replied, ‘Where’s Dan?’
I was like, ‘No Dan lives here.’
So he just pushed past me, then my roommate came out and went, ‘Oh hey Ben, come on in. Dan isn’t here yet.’
So I was already a little mad that this guy just barged in without bothering to explain that he knew my roommate. But then he proceeded to open up his backpack and spread out all his weed-dealing junk all over my kitchen table (as I’m trying to freaking eat supper) complete with a fully stuffed gallon ziplock bag full of herb, empty baggies to separate it out, a scale, the whole shebang. I went into the living room to eat and over the course of the next hour or two, multiple people came to my freaking door to buy from this guy.
When everyone finally left, I chewed my roommate a new one, but she didn’t even think it was a big deal.”
He Knew The Rule, But Broke Them Anyway
“When we rented, we had a ‘no smoking inside’ rule. When my husband’s brother crashed with us (supposed to be a few weeks, turned into a 7-month nightmare), he ‘forgot’ the rule often. It escalated one day when my mom came to borrow the kids for a weekend (I’m blessed with a mom who likes to take the kids for a few days every other month and obeys most of our rules when she has them).
So, my husband’s brother showed up at the house with 3-4 guys I didn’t know, and they holed up in his room, about five minutes before my mom is supposed to show up. Three minutes before she arrived, I smelled smoke that was obviously from pot. This guy brought strangers into my home to smoke weed with my freaking kids still in the house. My husband walked out the doors to sidetrack my mom, under the guise of ‘picking up the spare car seats’ that are at my father’s house while I went to talk to the brother. I asked him to step outside the room, then frostily explained the situation, and reminded him there was no smoking inside the house, there was definitely no smoking weed in the house, and there was absolutely no smoking pot in the house with my kids in it. He said he got it, we’re good, and he went back into the room.
I got some Febreeze because all I could do was spray and leave the windows up for it to air out.
It took less than 15 minutes for my husband and mom to grab the car seats, since my dad’s house was close, and I was pacing the hallway, trying to convince myself that the smell wasn’t that bad. That’s when I heard a lighter. I froze. There’s no way that this guy was seriously about to smoke more weed in my house less than five minutes after I freaking told him not to. Except that’s exactly what he does. I gathered up the kids and their bags, and we waited at the front door. The moment my husband and mom pulled up, we were out of there. We loaded up the kids with my mom having barely set foot in the house. This was the first time I was ever ‘glad’ to get the kids out of the house, and afterwards my husband told the brother and his friends to leave, because, ‘as [brother’s name] knows, we don’t allow any kind of smoking inside the house,’ which led to them shooting the brother looks. It made me wonder how much he reassured them that we were cool with smoking.
They left.
To be clear, we don’t actually care about smoking anything, but it was half of a duplex that we rented, and we don’t want to risk losing the kids since pot isn’t legal here. My mom would be unlikely to snitch, but the rude lady next door was not a great neighbor.”
Beware The ‘Woo-Girls’
“A couple woo-girls (a young, 20 something girl that drinks a lot and goes, ‘WOO!’ Kinda like the female counterpart to a ‘bro’) from work came over to my house one evening to show me how to do an aspect of my new job.
I knew this wasn’t going to go well when they got out of the car already wasted, with two bottles of vino and a bag of fast food. When they arrived, my boyfriend (now husband) was in the only bathroom. One decided she couldn’t wait and peed in my driveway. At 7 pm. In broad daylight. I shared a driveway with my landlords, who had small children.
They gathered up all the clean laundry from the corner that was about to be folded, dumped it in the middle of the living room floor, laid in it like a bean bag chair, and started hitting on my boyfriend. They took out their burritos and spread them all over the white carpet like a picnic blanket. One of them spilled a little cup of hot sauce all over the rug. Somehow, one of them managed to splash their red drink all over the white-ish brick wall in the stairwell. The brick wasn’t painted, so it was very porous. They left a half-used lip gloss in my bathroom sink, and half-eaten burritos and a thing of pasta in the fridge downstairs.
They were only there for an hour and a half. They were too busy flirting with my boyfriend to show me how to do the job they came to show me, so I had to figure it out myself. Woo-girls, man. They’re like tornadoes. I have no idea how you can cause so much destruction in such a short time span. The lack of self-awareness is fascinating.
Later on, one of the girls texted me to bring the leftovers to work. Since it had been about three days at that point, and they had left their trash in my fridge, I had thrown it out. She demanded I pay her back for the food, as it ‘was not yours and you had no right to throw it away.’
I told her that leaving half-eaten food in someone’s fridge for four days makes it garbage, and a burden. However, if she was that broke and hard-up for cash, I’d give her the $2 worth of burrito I had thrown out. I like to help those in need.
She told me to watch my back at work.”
Poker Night Would Never Be The Same
“I used to have a regular poker game at my apartment. Nothing crazy, .25-.50 blinds, more of an excuse to drink and hang out rather than make money. One of my friends called and asked if he could bring some guy I didn’t know over and since I’m a friendly dude, I said it was okay. This guy will be known as A-hole. This guy shows up and started playing like it’s the World Series Of Poker Main Event. He was being obnoxious, way over betting pots, bragging about winning and whining while losing. On top of that, he produced an ashtray that he kept bragging about, saying that he had stolen it from a popular bar in the area, like that was supposed to impress us. At one point, he got up to use the bathroom. In order to get to the bathroom, you had to walk by my room, which had the door open, and my wallet sitting on my bed.
You can guess what happened next.
A-hole used the bathroom, then came over and cashed out his chips, saying that he got an important phone call and had to leave. About 15 minutes later, I got up to use the bathroom and happened to see my wallet laying on the ground in my room instead of on the bed where I’d left it. I was a bartender at the time and there was $500 in cash in my wallet. Well, there use to be $500, the wallet was now empty. A-hole had robbed me.
I immediately confronted my friend, who told me that A-hole was just some guy he frequently saw at a bar and that he didn’t know his phone number, where he lived/worked, etc.
I never saw A-hole again after that, but he did leave that stolen ashtray on the poker table. I referred to it for years afterward as my $500 ashtray.”
He Actually Wanted To Be Arrested…Be Careful What You Wish For
“Once a friend came over while loaded on sedatives and fell asleep in my spare room. I heard him rattling around and thought he was just moving around in the spare room.
The next day, he was on my couch in the living room. All the stuff from my shelves were on the floor and my cactus was out of its pot and lying out of the soil. I told him to tidy it up, left him keys so he could lock up afterward, and went to work.
I came home and my door was unlocked and the house was still in the same state. A bottle of Sambuca had been opened, the lid was off, and half the bottle was missing. A frying pan had been used and was not cleaned.
He’s still a friend, but he’s now persona non grata in my house.
Another time, I had a party and a guy took HALF A HIT of acid and then another half later. I didn’t even want him there, to be honest.
He started getting aggressive and refused to take an anti-anxiety tablet. He smashed a plate and cut himself, self-harm style, in my front room and didn’t clean up after himself.
He left the party with my phone because nobody was calling the police for him because he wanted to be arrested. He came back like an hour later, balled up my phone with his hand, and chucked it at someone’s head. He insisted on calling the police, yadda yadda yadda.
At about 9 am, I told him, ‘Public transport is working again, why don’t you just take the tram home?’ He then picked up a chair and chucked it through the window. ‘Okay, I’m convinced, we’ll call the police,’ I said.
We hid everything illegal. When the cops came around, they just put him in the back of an ambulance. Lucky, I didn’t get arrested too.
This is the second time he needed the police to be called on him after taking hallucinogens. Who actually wants to get arrested? Weirdo
He disappeared off the face of the earth, he was already spiraling at the time. He’s probably in jail now.
He said he’d pay me the £180 for the phone and the window, but I have not received a penny.”
After Everything He Did, He Still Had The Nerve To Ask Why They Were Mad
“Years back, we had a couple in my wife’s circle of friends who were wanting to move to our town. My wife was dealing with some girl stuff at the time, but we agreed to let the husband come up and stay for a weekend to go house hunting. He took that as an open invite and just showed up the following weekend unannounced. He did this again for four or five more weekends. My wife was feeling bad and didn’t want to make waves, so she asked me to roll with it. Each time he would show up, he’d smoke my cigs and drink my brews like he lived there, never offering to replace anything.
Eventually, they bought a house and he came up again to do some work on it. He said he was going to take us out a for a nice dinner as a thank you for our hospitality, but first, he was going to go see some other friends of his not too far from us. A few hours went by, then he called and invited us over to the other friend’s place. I told him no, we thought we were going out to dinner and we’d been waiting for him to tell us where we’re going. He told me, ‘OH YEAH, this is the dinner, these guys are grilling out, so just bring over some burgers or something and we’ll have a nice time.’ Nope, we passed.
Sometime much later in the night, he came back (he had a key that my wife gave him). The next morning, he wasn’t there, but we got a call inviting us to go see his their new place and, begrudgingly, we agreed. We got there and he was working on some recessed lights. I looked across the room and see a drill on the floor that looked familiar. Then I saw one of my toolboxes, my tool belt, hammer, and a bunch of my other tools spread across his living room floor. I asked him, ‘ARE THOSE MY TOOLS?!?’ He said yeah, he grabbed what he needed out of my garage before he headed out. No big deal, he said. He’d bring them all back next week when they come up with the moving truck.
‘I DON’T LEND MY TOOLS TO ANYONE, EVER,’ I told him. I was fuming. He told me to relax. Chill out. What’s the big deal? I told him to pack that junk up, deliver it back to my garage where he found everything and never, ever, touch my stuff again. He showed up to my place about six hours later, having forgotten my favorite cordless drill back at his place, still completely nonchalant. He flew home that night and moved up a week later. I never got my drill back from him.
We ended up working at the same place for a few years and I had to interact with him on projects. One day at a company party, he asked me why we don’t hang out anymore, so I told him exactly why (there’s actually more to it, his wife was a complete witch to my wife after they moved here and she finally wrote them both off). He started bawling like a child in front of a hundred or so co-workers. I walked away smiling and have never spoken to him since.”
“We Tried To Be Supportive, But Eventually Had To ‘Suggest’ He Move Out”
“My husband and I had a mutual friend that was going through a very rough patch in his life.
He ended up basically homeless at 20 years old and we tried to help him kind of get him on his way. My husband helped him get a job and we let him live at our house rent-free for about six months, as long as he helped with chores and stuff. He developed a drinking problem very early on in his life, and a couple of times while he was staying at our house, he had thrown up in our bathroom and left quite a disaster behind.
We tried to be supportive but eventually had to ‘suggest’ he move out. I remember one time he had eaten a bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos on a binge-drinking sort of night, and the inside of our toilet was stained red when I used it the next morning.”
She Had Nothing Nice To Say About The New Condo
“I admit, I’m pretty salty about this, but my husband’s friend Brittany came to our condo a few months after I had recently purchased it and immediately started criticizing everything about it. She commented how she didn’t like the color I painted the walls, how the countertops weren’t to her taste, it was too dark, not enough room, the layout was wrong, she would never live in a condo because there are too many people around, why didn’t you get a place with a gas hookup for a gas stove, and on and on.
Buying this condo triggered a major depressive episode that I was still in at the time. She told me how she would have remodeled basically everything and done everything better than me. She was like, ‘I don’t ever see you two owning nice things.’
Um, excuse me, at least I own my unit and its contents.
What made me mad the most was she opened just about every cabinet in my kitchen and criticized the placement of my things, what I had to eat, seeing what I have. Like, who even does that?
My husband brushed this all off because we used to live with her right before the condo, but come on. She now lives in a small cottage with her husband on her mother-in-law’s property. She doesn’t own a house or anything. She’s just a very rude girl and I’m not sure why my husband is friends with her.”
Things Can’t Always Be Like “The Good Old Days”
“A buddy from college stayed at my house for a night while passing through town. While we kept in touch, we hadn’t seen each other in nearly five years. In that time, I had started a family, he had not. So while it was nice to visit and catch up, he kept trying to get me to leave for a night and ‘go out on the town like the good old days.’ It just wasn’t my thing anymore. I enjoyed having a few drinks and laughs hanging at home.
Anyway, he left next morning. A day later, my wife and I noticed a horrible smell coming from the guest bathroom…. We eventually traced the problem to poop in the water tank of the toilet. My ‘buddy’ had performed an upper decker in the bathroom. Absolutely disgusting to try and clean.
I called and told him off, all while he was laughing. He played it off as, ‘Wasn’t that funny, bro?!’
Nope. We haven’t spoken since.”
His Partner’s Mother’s True Color Eventually Began To Show
“My ex and I rented a house together and we set up the guest room so that her mother could come and stay whenever.
I loved my ex and her mom was kind to me, so it wasn’t a big deal. We’d even discussed buying a house and ensuring it had a mother in law quarters so that she could stay. Her mom had some surgery and stayed with us for three weeks. No big deal, she needed help recovering. She came for Thanksgiving and Christmas, too.
Eventually, I found out that she had been turning my ex against me. If I was out of town, there she was, spinning stories.
When the relationship came to an end it was, ‘My mom is just a friendly hippy, she thinks you don’t like her, etc, etc.’ Add in that my ex’s mom had been telling all kinds of other stories and telling her to stop sharing her feelings and concerns with me.
It was a mess, in every sense of the word.
Fast forward to 17 months later. The ex’s mom calls me, trying to reach someone else. I didn’t let on that I knew it was her, and I tried to just be polite until she said that she had a wrong number.
After it all, I don’t hate my ex. I care enough about her that I hope she’s truly happy, even though I know that we’ll never speak again.
I’m in a much better place than I was January 2017, in a great relationship with a fantastic woman…whose parents aren’t bonkers.
