In a world where wealth and status often breed a sense of entitlement, encounters with patronizing remarks from the wealthy can leave a lasting impact. From subtle condescension to outright insults, these people share the times a wealthy person insulted them or shared unsolicited advice. All content has been edited for clarity.
Table of contents
1. The Lousy Assumption-Making Lawyer
“I sometimes looked a bit of a mess. I kept my hair in a ponytail, wore no makeup or little makeup, and wore informal clothing. I liked to dress up, but it wasn’t realistic for me to look nice every day. So I often looked younger and less put-together than I was. One morning, I was called in by a partner to attend a meeting at a large, well-known law firm. I wasn’t planning to meet clients on this day, so I just had time to grab a jacket, throw on some jeans, and head out the door.
While I was waiting in the lobby, a young, male lawyer walked by me and felt compelled to ask, ‘Are you sure you’re in the right location?’
I said I was. He wanted to know what I was doing there. Waiting for a meeting.
He said, ‘Really? Are you a client or a lawyer?’
Lawyer.
He stuck his smug blond face in mine, patted my leg, and said conspiratorially, ‘Here’s some advice. Try not to say much. It can only get you in trouble.’
I said thank you, and he left.
I headed into the conference room. There was a line of four lawyers from the firm on one side of the table, of which Blondy McSmugface was the most junior. They represented the underwriter. This was a large investment bank, like Goldman Sachs or Merrill Lynch. I was the sole attorney on the side of the issuer. Blondy stared.
We started the meeting with introductions, then I took control and told them where they had improperly analyzed the securities regulations and told them how to change their documentation to correct the error. The partner attorney tried to justify his position, but he just didn’t know the law as well, so he conceded. I didn’t care about being right, we just had to get the offering done quickly and correctly. I told them what issues still stood, and got ready to go. The partner wanted my information and asked if I was looking to change firms.
Nope. No thanks.
Blondy stopped me in the hallway on the way to the elevators.
I told him, ‘You may want to consider reading the securities treatise I co-authored and edited. You might be able to better learn about the field.’
He started to talk and I cut him off and asserted, ‘Don’t say too much. It might get you in trouble,’ and left.
His jaw dropped. I never had an exit line like that since. It was kind of sad to have wasted it on him.
Assumptions. I learned to make them at my peril.”
2. “The Secretary Looked Bewildered”
“This happened when I was about 35 years old and a mid-level manager at the largest telecommunication company in the United States. I flew into Kentucky to see a client and set up project management for his system. I walked into his office and met his secretary first.
Before I could say anything, the secretary asserted, ‘We aren’t hiring right now, and we won’t be for a while.’
‘I’m not here for a job,’ I explained, ‘I need to see your boss about something else.’
‘Oh! I understand,’ the secretary nodded, ‘You’re the delivery guy, and you need to take the shipment to the dock on the backside of the building.’
‘No, I’m not the delivery guy,’ I responded, ‘I just need to talk to your boss.’
The secretary huffed, ‘Meetings are by appointment only. Besides, my boss is waiting for someone important from Atlanta, Georgia.’
I just stood there while the secretary stared at me trying to figure out why I hadn’t left. Internally I laughed when I should have been livid.
Her boss walked out from around the corner, and the secretary told him something similar to, ‘I don’t know what this guy wants.’
Then, he immediately walked over to me with a big smile and gave me a huge handshake and hug. The secretary looked bewildered.
As we walked into the back, her boss told her something to the effect of, ‘You and I need to have a conversation.’
As you probably figured out, I was black. In her mind, she just could not visualize a black person in her presence as being someone of importance in an executive position.
The sickening look on her face after her boss said they were going to have a conversation was hilarious. It was hard to believe she felt I was lesser than just because of what I looked like.”
3. “The Look On His Face Was Priceless”
“I had finished scraping the bottom of my boat when I decided to take a shower at the clubhouse. Scraping paint from the bottom of the boat was one of the dirtiest jobs in the world, and I was utterly filthy.
As I walked up to the clubhouse, a guy in his mid-forties, a new member it turned out, told me, ‘You’re not allowed in the clubhouse. Didn’t you know laborers aren’t allowed?’
I laughed in his face and said, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘I can talk to the clubhouse leader,’ the guy threatened, ‘I’m sure they wouldn’t be too happy to know laborers were in the clubhouse. You’ll never be allowed to work here again.’
‘Good luck with that,’ I rolled my eyes and replied.
When I finished up in the shower, I went to the wardroom and met my wife for a drink. The guy was in the wardroom speaking to the clubhouse leader when I walked in.
When the guy saw me, he pointed in my direction and told the leader, ‘He’s disrespectful. He should be banned from the club, permanently.’
The leader replied, ‘Well, he might be disrespectful, but he’s also a member in good standing. Plus, it would look terrible if I tried to ban my husband.’
The look on his face was priceless.”
4. “I Tried Not To Cringe As She Spoke To Me”
“One time, someone thought I was poor and in need of a job.
I decided to clean the house of an elderly friend while she was recovering from surgery. While I was cleaning, a wealthy friend of hers came to visit. Shortly before leaving, she approached me and extended her card.
She said, ‘I don’t expect you to recognize me or my name, but I am prominently mentioned in the society section of the newspapers. I’m married to a very prominent attorney. I have observed your skills and efficiency to be above average.’
I tried not to cringe as she spoke to me.
She continued, ‘It is so difficult to find good help these days. And you speak ENGLISH, which is a real feather in your gap.’
I felt my mouth drop open.
‘I have several friends who could use the services of a good English-speaking housekeeper. Please give me your name and number,’ the woman said as she condescendingly smiled.
‘Oh, I have a card,’ I responded matter of factly.
I handed her my business card stating I was an attorney at the American Civil Liberties Union.
I told the woman, ‘Give your husband my regards. I am looking forward to opposing him in our upcoming trial in two weeks.’
The woman was speechless. All I could do was laugh while she fumbled to make an apology.”
