Customers are the worst. If you've ever worked in retail or in the service industry, you know how awful people can be. It's like they don't eve care that you are a human being. They love to rant and rave and make threats and turn red in the face and sometimes, it's best just to sit back and laugh at their idiotic behavior. So sit back and enjoy these satisfying tales of when nasty customers got what they deserved.
It Was All You Can Eat
“I used to work at a buffet as a manager/cashier, and I remember this one customer that wanted a free meal because our food made her ‘throw up.’ She claimed that she threw up in the bathroom, so I went to check up on it.
The entire floor of the bathroom was littered with UNEATEN food straight from the buffet bar. I returned and (politely) called nonsense on her story. Her response and I kid you not, was, ‘Then are you calling me a liar? Do you really think I’d waste food like that?’
I smugly proceed to check the cameras (we had one facing the hallway leading towards the bathroom) and showing her the footage of her heaping a plate with food, entering the bathroom with said plate, and leaving with a magically empty plate. The look of horror and embarrassment on her face was priceless. She paid in the end, too.”
Ignoring The Rules Isn’t Going To Fly
“I’m a long haul flight attendant. Had a passenger on a flight once that had laid their 8 or 9 year old on the ground to sleep. I asked the mother to politely pick her up as it wasn’t safe, to which to mother informed me that it was safe and pulled the ‘I’ve done it plenty of times before’ line. Things escalated dramatically from here when I insisted she pick her child up.
It took 20 minutes of arguing, the waking of the entire aircraft, the Captain, the Purser and threats of restraint to calm her down. We eventually managed to get the child in the seat with a pillow I had found in the aircraft cupboard.
The reason we can’t have anyone on the floor is that in the event of sudden decompression, the masks won’t reach ground level. A person has around 4 seconds of useful consciousness in a worst-case scenario, so the mother wouldn’t be able to take her mask off to bend down, pick her child up and put her on oxygen. This is also the reason we tell you to put your own mask on before assisting others – it’s a heck of a lot easier helping your child with their mask while your conscious.”
Mushroom Murderer
“I work in a take-out food business.
A lady ordered a delivery with about 3 meals, one of which had mushrooms in.
She called about I would say 15 minutes after receiving her order to complain that I tried to kill her by putting mushrooms in her meal. She did not state that she or anyone had a mushroom allergy. She went on to yell and demand free stuff.
There was 10 minutes of her just yelling and threatening to report us. All I could do was ask why she did not state that she had an allergy.
In the end, she got nothing and funny enough ordered again about 3 weeks later.”
FALSE ADVERTISING
“I worked in a large convention-oriented resort hotel. The kind of place corporations will spend millions to hold yearly meetings. In other words, not cheap. The restaurant I worked for was the ‘mid price’ option in the hotel where it would usually run $50-75 per person for dinner. Without drinks.
Yes, I made really good money.
About half an hour before closing one night a group of guests comes in. Now, we were used to people arriving late. It was the nature of the location and we were fine with it because most of the time it was people that had issues with transport or something like that, so we were always super cool for late arrivals.
Not this woman.
It’s at this juncture I have to say I was not privy to much of the conversation because this was not my table. I was, however, only one of four people in the front of the house at this point and had every single thing retold to me and I trust the people I worked with to not have embellished anything. With that said…
This woman worked for Dillard’s. She made it a point to mention that she was a store manager for Dillard’s multiple times. This becomes relevant later, even if it was never relevant at any point when she actually mentioned it.
So, this lady comes in with a small handful of underlings she had invited out so she could spend the evening telling them how awesome she was that she had invited them out. Imagine it along the lines of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute. The total lack of self-awareness but remove the wide-eyed charm and install complete lunacy.
Now you have an idea what we’re dealing with.
The group sits down and orders some drinks. The Boss In Charge Of The Table (hereafter ‘The Boss’) says she wants to order some appetizers. The server mentions that we have appetizer platters for larger tables (it was for about twelve people) and the nasty woman tells her to bring two of them. Drinks are served, apps are served, and the whole time The Boss is going on and n about how awesome she is and how amazing the work she does for Dillard’s is and how they’re lucky to have her. Meanwhile, the rest of the table looks like a POW camp. Nobody wants to be there. Nobody is laughing. Nobody is having fun. They’ve clearly had to put up with The Boss for far too long, but she’s their boss.
She continues yapping for about 45 minutes then decides it’s time to go and asks for the check. The server brings the check and The Boss hands her a credit card. The server runs the card and returns the book with the card. The Boss opens the book, actually looks at the price, and goes NUTS because it’s about $150.
Keep in mind, we’re a real restaurant, with real food, made by real chefs in a top-tier resort hotel and she just ordered drinks and appetizers for a group of twelve and is TOTALLY SHOCKED that it was just over $10 per person. ‘Why didn’t you tell me how much those platters cost?’
‘I did ma’am, I told you it was five appetizers for the price of four on our menu.’
‘Well, why don’t you have the platters on your menu? THAT’S FALSE ADVERTISING! I WORK AT DILLARD’S AND I KNOW FALSE ADVERTISING! WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER!?’
Fast forward AN HOUR LATER and The Boss is still there. Her employees are looking like PTSD is creeping in. The two servers that were closing can’t leave the room where the party was because she would berate them when they tried, which means they couldn’t sign off on my work so I was stuck there too.
And my manager…
My freaking manager was kissing this woman’s butt, but sarcastically.
And it was beautiful.
He was basically making her eat garbage and love it. He was that kind of manager. There’s a certain level of sarcastic smarmy loser that, to the ears of a piece of worthless junk, sounds like a total sweet-tonguing but to anyone that actually has a brain cell still functioning comes across as the snide and crass insult. To cut out an hour of nonsense and get to the GOOD part he had finally knocked half off the price of their check, just to get her out of there. She was haranguing on the fact that, ‘This is too much money for what we had! Dillard’s won’t pay for it! I’ll get in trouble!’ Okay, fine. We’ll eat it, just to get out of here! Oh, by the way, here’s where you can leave a comment for our hotel management. Please do so, if you’re displeased.
She did, of course.
She yelled at the servers, the food, the manager, freaking everything. After we knocked the price down so her sorry butt wouldn’t get in trouble.
Our manager was called to the hotel VP’s office and told to give his side of the story.
He did.
In detail.
Turns out our hotel VP trusted our manager as much as we did in the restaurant.
It also turns out that he belonged to the same country club as the Dillard’s Regional Manager.
And our manager had enough forethought to keep a copy of the receipt with her name on it.”
This Guy ONLY WANTED ONE!
“I worked at EB Games and we had buy one get one free sales, I had way too many people yell at me for trying to explain that they could have a second game from that section for free.
My favorite was during a ‘3 for $40’ sale. A guy brought up a single game from that section, scanned in at $49.95. I think I’m about to make the guys day and tell him he can pick two extra games and I’ll charge him 10 bucks less.
He says, ‘I don’t care about the other games, just make it 10 less.’ I explain that I can’t do that, I need to scan three games to apply the promotion. I tell him he’s welcome to give the games away if he wants, or he can trade them right back in for some store credit the next time he wants something. Nope.
I tried one more time when he just starts yelling and saying, ‘I’M TAKING THIS GAME FOR FOURTY DOLLARS AND YOU CAN TAKE OFF IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT!’ and slaps two twenties on the counter, snatches the game out of my hands, and storms out.
So I went and picked out two games I wanted, scanned them and a copy of the one he just ran off with and processed the sale.”
Math Isn’t His Strength
“I used to coach gymnastics for what were largely upper/middle class and above clients. One dumb, blonde housewife, who managed to find a way to talk about how much money her husband makes in several conversations with me and others, tells me her husband wants to know why they were charged 13 times for the monthly tuition fees last year. I tell her we charge every 4 weeks, not every month. This is made very clear in the contract they sign, and on any of the literature about our class times and tuitions.
A couple days later her monster of a husband comes in demanding an explanation as to why he was overcharged last year, because he was unsatisfied with the explanation I gave his wife. He’s a big powerful salesman or something, and I’m just a dumb little girl who teaches kids to do somersaults. He was so smug, thinking he’s going to school me on being so dumb, or worse, doing sketchy business.
I once again explain that we charge in 4 week increments, not monthly. I explain that there are 52 weeks in a year, and 52/4 is 13. He still didn’t get it, so I had to pull out a calendar and count it out to him. He got huffy and walked out.
That was about four years ago and they still bring their kids as far as I know.”
Not Exactly The Seven Dirty Words
“I dealt with a lot of dumb stuff as a camp director but one that always sticks out in mind:
After the week is over, a mother comes roaring up to me and has murder in her eye. Having introduced myself to the families less than an hour before, she knew I was an authority figure in the camp. She is irate over the fact that her son told her other campers were using foul and distasteful language in front of her son.
Assuming the worst, I ask which words were used and she leans forward to me and whispers ‘fart,’ ‘balls’ and ‘butthole.’
Trying not to laugh, I tell her I will discuss it with the staff. Did I mention that her son was a 15-year-old camper?”
Anything Else?
“Blockbuster, back in the day.
This woman would repeatedly rent games and then keep them until they cycled out of inventory and she would get charged for them. Then she would complain about the charges, stating she returned the game weeks ago. My wimp of a boss would always remove the charges, and then the game would magically be in the drop box the very next day. This happened all the time with this lady. I even commented on her account every time it happened.
Finally, one time, I refused to remove the charge, and told her I was sick of her little game. She called my boss, he listened to my side of the story, told me to remove her charges, and the next day the game was in the drop box. I told him it happened again, and he transferred me to a different store.
Fast forward a few months and the woman’s 10-year-old daughter comes into my new store to rent American Pie. Haha. Sorry kid, you gotta have an adult come in and rent this for you. She goes out to her mom, who I can clearly see through the window, tells her what I said, and I get the most evil glare I have ever seen as she throws her car into reverse and leaves without a movie.”
Real Life Hamburglar
“About a week ago, I’m running out a parked car order and I hold the door open for a woman because her hands were full of change (Let’s call her Change Lady). I come back into the store and my cashier explains to me that she came into the store shoving a handful of change in her face, asking, ‘What can I get with this?’ The cashier was a little surprised, having change shoved at her, but she counted it and the woman was able to get two fish sandwiches and a Mcdouble. Okay, no problem. Meanwhile, another car is parked out front waiting for fresh fries.
The fries come up, and I bag them having another person, Paul, run the order outside. Paul doesn’t even get to the door before Change lady snatches the bag from him and leaves. He must have thought the parked car came inside because he starts to walk back behind the counter but I stop him saying, ‘Go get that bag from her, it’s not her order!’ He rushes outside to get the two fries the Change Lady had snatched and brings them back inside.
Change Lady comes storming in after him.
CL: ‘Your friend here snatched that bag away from me, wasting my time to have to come back in here. I’m with my friend and I can’t be wasting time like this!’
Paul chimes in: ‘I didn’t! I told her that wasn’t her order and I would need the bag back!’
Me: ‘Ma’am, you have two fish sandwiches and a Mcdouble, correct? There are two medium fries in here, this isn’t your order.’
CL: ‘Then I want a small fry!’
Me: ‘Ma’am, you snatched the bag from my coworker’s hands before you left with the wrong order. I’m not giving you a small fry.’
CL sighs in frustration while looking me up and down with her arms crossed like it’s some kind of stare-off to the death. I’m just standing there with my best smile even though I want to give her money back and tell her to leave.
CL: ‘Then just give me my food!’
Me: ‘No problem!’
I bag the food and hand it to her.
CL: ‘You’re a piece of garbage!’
Me: ‘Have a nice day!’
I remake the two medium fries for the parked car and toss in a couple pies for the wait.”
Juicy Ham Paper
“At Subway, juices from the ham can get on the paper you make the sandwich on. If you put that in the toaster, it comes out reddish, looks a bit like blood. This is why a Subway employee isn’t supposed to give that sheet with the food, but holy heck is it hard to not ruin a customers’ sandwich when removing that sheet. It can be surprisingly difficult unless they have a small sandwich.
Anyways, I didn’t remove it, the husband brought the food back home, wife comes back in, shouting that we gave her AIDS because there is blood all over the sheet her food was in. She knows it is blood because she is a nurse.
This woman was missing all of her front teeth, total crack addict look. I doubt she was a nurse. Also, I don’t have AIDS, thank you. I look healthier than you, woman.
I was a manager, and I could have comped her meal, and would have if she were nice, but we have the right to refuse that and to tell a customer to leave if they attack the staff or other guests. Verbal attacks like this included. She was reaching over the counter and was spitting onto the register in her anger. I told her to leave. There was a regular there who was interrupted by this woman who offered me her number to give to my district manager if I got in trouble. I offered my regular free food for having to put up with that, but the regular just thought it was kind of funny how ignorant and disgusting she was.”
This Guy Was REALLY Angry!
“I worked for an airline. A customer calls in wanting to go to a city we don’t fly to. No problem! I tell him, ‘We fly to [another city] and then they can take another airline to your final destination.’
He starts screaming, ‘Are you new? How can you be so stupid? I am on your website and you DO fly there!’
I explained that I had been employed a mere 25 years with that airline, but I’m always learning! Then I directed the customer to click on the connecting flight number, then read to me what it says. ‘Flight 123 OPERATED BY OTHER AIRLINE … Oh…’ Why he didn’t just book it himself online will become apparent later.
We continued on and I made the reservation. This customer complained every time I had to ask for info or say a federally mandated notification. Nothing unusual about that. I did politely ask him to keep his volume down because I could not help him with my ears ringing! Then I asked for the credit card number to complete the purchase. He started screaming again that he was not giving me his credit card he was using his BANK MILES – miles that cannot be accessed by me or the airline. I explained that his bank took his miles then called us and actually purchased the ticket, with actual money.
He went totally insane. Screeching! I let him know if he didn’t clean up his filthy language, I was going to hang up on him. He then asked for a supervisor, which I was. Yippee. The coworker I begged to take this call explained the situation calmly (I listened in). Then the customer said, ‘I already tried calling the bank reservation line and they said I couldn’t do it! Then they hung up on me!'”
So Many Science Fails By This Customer
“Customer orders a bowl of soup to go. We are very busy and currently out of the type of soup she ordered. I tell her it will be a significant wait as it takes at least ten minutes to heat up the soup. She agrees. Two minutes later, she asks me where her soup is. Two minutes later, she asks again. I get frustrated and tell her we’ll put it in the microwave. Two minutes later, same deal. ‘Where’s my soup?’
‘It’s in the microwave, ma’am, but it will take a little longer.’
‘Make the microwave go faster!’
Okay.
Well, whatever. I pull it a little early, and it’s still cold, but at this point, I don’t care, so I portion out her soup.
Our to-go soup containers were taller and narrower than the in-house bowls, which were flat and wide; the volume of soup remained consistent between the two containers. I know this because the portion size was two ladles, regardless of container.
I bring this customer her soup, and she immediately protests that I didn’t give her enough soup. She doesn’t want to pay the same price for less soup, just because she’s taking it to go.
I attempt to explain the concept of conservation, which is typically grasped around age 7, to this grown-a– woman. She stares at me the entire time with this suspicious look on her face like she thinks I’m trying to pull a fast one on her. ‘But the bowls in the store are bigger.’
She eventually takes her soup.
Shows back up half an hour later.
‘It’s cold.’
I don’t work there anymore.”
A Scammer Get Busted
“I worked retail in the early 90’s. So, we still had actual price tickets which were scanned and read an internal barcode number. Initially, it would just bring up the number and the price on the screen. Well, we started having real problems with tag switching (ie, people would take the tag from a $20 item and put it on a $300 item so it would scan $20).
Now, this was a department store, so there was no one who truly KNEW all the items, just the ones in their own department, so people would switch tags and bring the items to another department to be rung up so they wouldn’t be caught. The cashier would just assume the ticket was correct.
So, to combat this, the registers were updated, so that it would show not only the barcode number and the price, but also a short description of item on the register when you scanned it (ie, 2574274 $19.99 Esprit Blue Skirt). The customer couldn’t see it, only the cashier could.
We got new inventory in and this woman brought all this new Jones & Co apparel that we had received THAT day (and I helped put out on the floor) and switched all the tags on it so it rang up on sale at much lower prices. I knew what she was pulling, but I also knew she’d be nasty about it becasue she just gave off that kind of vibe. I ring the first one, a sweater, but it reads that it’s pants. Just for kicks I try another one, it’s a skirt, but it reads a scarf when I scan it.
So, I look at her and say, ‘there seems to be a problem, looks like the prices on these are incorrect.’ She looks me square in the eye and says, ‘Absolutely not, if you mis-ticketed them, that’s your problem, not mine and you have to honor the price.’ At this point, I see plain clothes security out of the corner of my eye, so I know they must have picked this dumb woman on the cameras.
I said, ‘Well when I scan your sweater, it comes up as pants and a different brand. Somebody must have changed the ticket on it and I’ll have to take it off the floor to be re-ticketed.’ She started to say something but I had already scanned the next item and said ‘Oh, weird that one is ringing up as a scarf.’ Then I scanned another one and said ‘Oh, look, socks.’ She started to look a little nervous at that point and just kind of muttered under her breath ‘Oh, forget it. I don’t have time for this,’ and ran out of the store.
After she left, security came over and said they’d been watching her for a while and to let them know if I saw her again. I never did and I’m not sure if she was ever caught. Stupid lady.”
That Escalated Quickly
“I was working at a gas station that had updated pumps, except for one. The one old pump had the thing under the nozzle you had to flip up to turn the pump on.
Now I can see on the register if someone is using or trying to use a credit card. This lady comes in and says, ‘My card isn’t working at the pump,’ and I explain to her that you have to flip up the lever for it to work. She tells me ‘Well, I already put my card in.’
I tell her, ‘Ma’am, your transaction cancels after a short time to prevent inaccurate transactions.’
She says again, ‘But I already put it in.’ I explain to her that I can see active cards by looking at the register but this just isn’t computing in her brain and I’m freaking busy.
I explain to her 2 or 3 more times and she’s still not getting it, now there’s a line of 15 people behind her so I look past her to the next customer and say, ‘What can I get for you?’
She storms out, gets her gas and comes back in (looking angry) to wait in the line she created. She gets to the front an sneeringly says, ‘WHAT’S YOUR NAME?’ and I tell her Patrick. She says ‘WHAT’S YOUR WHOLE NAME.’
I say, ‘What’s your whole name?’ She told me her whole name. I tell her that doesn’t matter because I’m the only Pat that works here and she tells me she will be making a complaint because I was very rude.
At this point, I put my line on pause for a second and say, ‘Lady, you came in, I told you what to do, you went back out and did WHAT I TOLD YOU, and got your gas. If I wasn’t busy I would have come out and helped you.’
She says, ‘I’m suuure you would have,’ and leaves.
I told my boss about it the next day and he says, ‘If she calls me, I’ll tell her you only have one leg.'”
