Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends to gather around and show gratitude. This day usually consists of a traditional meal and time spent together. But not everyone has a perfect Thanksgiving...
Grumpy Father-In-Law Tries To Ruin The Day
“We started out Thanksgiving by going to my father-in-law’s house. The last couple of years have consisted of pretty boring/bad food because he made his wife do all the cooking while she was suffering from lupus. We thought the bad food was due to her not feeling well, and this year she was feeling really good, so we got a little hopeful.
While dinner was cooking, we go into the living room to watch football. My brother happened to sit in my father-in-law’s seat and he made a scene of it. My brother said sorry, got up from his chair, and found another seat.
Next up was my father-in-law’s wife’s mom’s boyfriend. An elderly man sits in his seat, he walks upstairs and demands him out of his chair. While this poor old man is getting up to move, he makes fun of him not being able to get up.
Fast forward to dinner. My father-in-law smoked the bird – later we found out for 24 hours – and he goes to carve the turkey and takes off a leg and asks for his stepson’s plate and puts the leg on it. Next, he cuts off a nice piece off of the breast and walks over and puts it on his plate. He continues to carve the turkey and put it on a platter for everyone else to get their own.
I learned that day, that my husband’s father is a giant jerk. Thankfully, I had my own turkey in a smoker I put in that morning and was planning another dinner at my house later with my husband’s mom, her husband, and my brother again. The rest of the night went really well and all of the food at my place was delicious.”
Responding To The Domestic Situation
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“As a paramedic, the holidays were not something guaranteed. I have worked my share of them.
Anyway, one year I was working Thanksgiving and for the most part, it was pretty quiet until we got a request by the police to respond to the scene of a domestic situation.
It was about 2 p.m. in the afternoon and mostly everyone was sitting down to eat their turkey. This family was the same, except an argument started over something pretty silly. I think it was about who should carve the turkey.
Anyway, the story goes… The argument became heated and fists were flying between the men. The women were screaming at the men to stop it. One of the women grabbed her purse and took out her pepper spray and proceeded to pepper spray the men who were fighting. Another woman grabbed her own spray and sprayed the first woman.
This was all done while still around the table. Another person at the table called the police. By the time the police arrived, the fight had stopped but now there were three people with pepper spray in their eyes, ultimately leading to the dinner being ruined and others started to leave. Happy Thanksgiving!”
That One Great Aunt That Shares Family Secrets
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“My now-departed Grandma Ethel, bless her soul, was in the early stages of dementia.
Well, at one Thanksgiving dinner, in particular, Grandma Ethel got this look in her eye like she was going to say or do something sly and burst out by saying: ‘That Frank (my late grandfather, her deceased brother-in-law). That Frank, he said that on his honeymoon, every time he put it in her, she farted all night long!’ and erupted in little old lady cackling guffaws.
Well, let me just say that at that moment, we all just kind of looked around and one of my grandmothers was laughing so hard, while the other turned red as a beet. I think I just took a sip of tea, had some dressing, and went with it.”
An Unexpected Day In Jail?
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“Freshman year of college, an old buddy of mine comes out to visit me at UC Santa Cruz. He had a bunch of money from an inheritance and I was a broke college student. He came up with the idea of renting a car and having Thanksgiving in San Francisco.
We ended up renting a gold ’73 Cadillac Eldorado, about 50 feet long and just obscene. The guys at the rental place, Rent-a-Dent, kept asking where we planned on going, but we hadn’t decided fully yet, so we said it would be fairly local.
A couple of hours later, we’re cruising around San Francisco and have no idea where to go. He rolled down the window and asked a cop, who was stopped at the red light next to us, where a good place to eat might be. The cop directs us to pull around him and head down to Fisherman’s Wharf. We go another few blocks until we’re right near the Wharf with hundreds of people milling about and the cop still behind us.
All of a sudden, cop cars come flying out of all the side streets, cops are screaming, weapons are out and we’re grinning, like ‘Holy crap, someone is about to get screwed up!’ Come to realize that everyone was yelling at us to show hands and not to move.
The car apparently had stolen plates or something. We went to jail, spent the day handcuffed to a blood-soaked bench. No one was available at the rental place to corroborate our story because of the holiday. They eventually unhooked us, called us a cab, and had him drive us directly to the airport with instructions for us to get out of San Francisco. We did. Flew to LA and partied our hearts out!”
The Most Uncomfortable Dinner For Him
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“Every Thanksgiving there is this woman who shows up to eat with our family. She is a family friend of my aunt and always brings her kids. Well, she got divorced a few months beforehand and as a result, she reverted back to before she got married and gets around now.
Back up a few months to the day of my High School Graduation. After we graduated, we went out and had a good time. Well, this was about two months after her divorce at this point. She showed up to the graduation party of someone that I knew. Apparently, she knew my buddy’s mom. Well, everybody was drinking. I saw her and I recognized her but I don’t think that she knew who I was (even though she had seen me at Thanksgiving dinner ever since I was a kid).
I started dancing with her. She was very lit and was coming onto me really hard. She was like 40 years old, but she was attractive. One thing led to another and I ended up getting with her. We weren’t exactly subtle about it either. I pretty much carried her up the stairs in front of the whole party, up to my buddy’s room. So needless to say, word got around.
Now cut to Thanksgiving. She got back with her husband and then she showed up the dinner (apparently she had forgotten that I was her friend’s nephew). She comes in with her kids and her husband. The look on her face when she saw me was one of utter disbelief. The entire time her husband was giving me the evil eye. It was obvious that he wanted to kill me.
The most awkward part was when her kid came up and started talking to me. As soon as he did, the father was like, ‘We are leaving,’ and basically dragged everyone out of the house. Everyone was just sitting there in complete silence. It was obvious that some of my family knew about it. Thankfully nobody said anything. It was terrible, to say the least.”
Deep Fryers And The Dangers That Come With Them
“I was a volunteer support personnel with my local fire department – not a firefighter, just someone who did computer stuff with the district. I had time to kill on Thanksgiving Day and I had computer updates to do on the engine. I climb into the cab and start updating the software. It’s a slow process, but it has to be done.
Well, the tones go off. I didn’t even get a chance to look up before the door next to me opened and then immediately shut and the Captain climbed in the engine in the seat behind me, reached over, put a headset on my head and we were rolling out of the station.
The call: Frozen turkey and deep frier. In a garage.
Halfway there, the second alarm goes off for additional units. My job? Get the engine to the house, because I was tying up the computer and update the dispatcher with location and everything, oh, and do it all with zero prior training.
So we get there, and the garage is fully engulfed. They start running lines. I don’t want to stand around, so I grab the medical kit and follow the EMT/Firefighters who are starting triage on the people who were in the garage. Third degree burns on four people. I spend two minutes handing supplies to a firefighter before paramedics show up and shoo me away.
What did I end up doing? Consoling a little girl whose dad is now severely burned after the turkey ejected into the ceiling, and once the chief arrived, transporting the guy’s wife and kid to the hospital to be with their dad.
I ended up being late for dinner that evening after I had to return to the fire with the chief’s command unit so another volunteer could take me back to the station to get my car.
I learned to wear good boots going forward if I was doing in-cab software updates.”
Broken-Hearted Right Before Thanksgiving!
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“I got dumped a day or two before Thanksgiving. I was devastated. However, my family decided to do a huge potluck at a restaurant and invite everybody – people I didn’t even know. Most everyone brought regular potluck type food instead of Thanksgiving-type of food, so there wasn’t really a Thanksgiving dinner. Then, to add to my personal nightmare, they busted out a karaoke machine and the same couple that brought the machine proceeded to basically give everyone else a concert.
Looks like this year will be a close second. My husband is talking divorce and uninvited me from our annual Thanksgiving trip. He’ll be with coworkers and friends, while his kids will be with their mom. I feel utterly rejected. Thankfully a friend invited me to visit so I won’t be completely alone.”
This Is Why You Plan Ahead!
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“I burned water and flooded the entire house with bubbles.
It was the first Thanksgiving I had ever cooked and what made it worse was that my future in-laws were coming over. They are both extremely high-powered business people. I’ve seen them broker over hundred-million-dollar deals without batting an eye. Both of them are hardcore ring fighters in the American business world. They know what they like, and they know what they don’t like. They never hold back on their opinions. Suffice it to say, I was terrified and running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
I tried to cook and prepare everything in one day, which was a mistake. Their plane landed and my future-spouse went to go pick them up while I watched the food cook. I decided that all the dirty cooking dishes needed to be washed before they arrived and began loading the dishwasher. Unfortunately, I had no dish-tabs and decided to use dish soap. My mother told me that it could only be used in extreme circumstances and really wasn’t made for the dishwasher. Looking back, I believe a dime-sized amount would have sufficed, but I was panicking and just squeezed the bottle liberally. Ten minutes later, I started noticing a film of bubbles pouring out of the bottom of the dishwasher. The waves of bubbles poured out over the kitchen floor. In my panic, I turned away from the stove, where I was boiling water for pasta and assessed the situation. Opening the dishwasher, more bubbles poured out and across the floor! The jets hadn’t stopped completely when I opened the door and sprayed some of the bubbles onto the ceiling.
Cleaning up bubbles is not like cleaning up water. Towels don’t like to soak them up, it was a very long process. Somewhere in the process of cleaning up the bubbles and running up and down the stairs to fetch more absorbent materials, I remembered the pot I left on the stove. A horrible black and smoky stench, greeted me about the same time and the fire alarm above the stove was chirping. The water had boiled away and the pot was dry as a bone and super hot, the material it was made out of started to crack and left a horrible smell wafting up in the kitchen.
It was a truly stressful experience.”
I’ve Never Seen Evil In Someone’s Eyes
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“About 10 years ago, I had a cousin who was mentally unstable and ended up going into a fit of rage because her brother and I were laughing at something she did. I’ve never seen evil in someone’s eyes like I did that day.
She picked up my glass of milk, raised her hand, and slammed it onto the ground in front of my chair. Glass went everywhere.
She then picked the broken glass up and started cutting her arms. Blood was everywhere.
I ran out the house and drove off so fast. My mom came home later and asked if I left before or after the rescue and cops showed up to take her. She was later diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after a psyche valuation. No one ever brings up that Thanksgiving!”
A Unique Way To Make Green Bean Casserole
“I was making a green bean casserole from scratch. I’d never made one before. Here are all of the mistakes I made:
I ran out of milk, so I used unsweetened Silk soymilk. Well, since soymilk has vanilla in it, the whole thing smelled like a cake.
Additionally, I undercooked the green beans and didn’t realize it until the beans were already in the sauce that I’d made. Instead of washing off the sauce and cooking the green beans more, like a sane person, I made another batch of sauce, poured it into the pan, and baked that freakin’ casserole for two hours instead of 30 minutes. The green beans were still crunchy and the sauce hadn’t evaporated like I thought it would, so we all enjoyed crunchy green beans floating in a sea of vanilla scented bechamel.”
Extreme Distaste For Her Stepmother’s Parents!
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“Six or seven years ago, I spent Thanksgiving with my stepmom’s parents.
I have one younger brother who is a full-blood sibling, one younger half-sister, and a younger half-brother who was an infant at the time.
The trip was terrible, and my stepmom’s mother didn’t like my brother or me.
They sat at the dinner table (including my four-year-old sister, and infant brother) and made my brother and I sit at the kitchen bar with our backs to them. I was offended, I hated being there in the first place, but it didn’t hurt my feelings too much. I went through a pretty long phase of apathy, through my teen years, as a result of the crap my dad put me through. But looking over at my 10-year-old brother’s sad face, while he poked at his food because ‘grandma’ basically dismissed, and excluded us, extremely angered me. Being only 14 or 15 years old at the time, I didn’t say anything at the time, but I will never forgive them for how they’ve treated my brother over the years. I’ve often thought about the joy I would feel if she died slowly and painfully while roasting in a house fire.”
Family Tragedy The Day Of Thanksgiving
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“My worst Thanksgiving was in 2005.
I was a freshman in high school and was playing video games or something, while my mom was working a late shift the night before Thanksgiving.
We were living with my grandpa at the time. It was late at night when I heard him calling from downstairs. He usually came partway up the stairs, even though he had a hard time doing so before he called up to us for anything, so I should have realized that something was wrong based on the distance he was yelling from. I went downstairs and he was in his living room recliner like usual but had to ask me to help him to the kitchen table which I had never had to do before. I had to hold him over my shoulder, but we made it to the kitchen and got him seated in his favorite chair. I wish I remembered more than that, but I’m sure I went upstairs and continued about my life as usual.
The next morning, I just remember my mom coming into my room crying. Grandpa had died in his sleep. I couldn’t even work up the courage to say goodbye before the coroners took his body away. I realize now how much I could have learned from him and think about his passing every year around this time.”
A Different Way To Bake Pie
“One year when I was a kid, my dad was in charge of bringing the pies. He’s normally a really good cook, and all of the dessert responsibility was in his hands.
Well, the morning of, all the prep work has been done and a bunch of beautiful-looking pies are ready to go into the oven when my dad realizes the oven isn’t getting hot; it’s a propane stove and we must have just run out of propane. Certainly, there was nowhere to get the tank filled on Thanksgiving morning.
My dad flips out for a few minutes as he tries to find a way to blame someone else for the problem, but eventually settles down and gets to brainstorming. Eventually, his choice is clear: microwave the pies or take no pies at all. So, we microwave the pies, box ’em up, and drive to my grandma’s house.
The pies go totally unmentioned until it’s time for dessert to be served. My aunt lifts the foil off of the first pumpkin pie and wrinkled her nose at the crust, which wasn’t browned and was soggy. She kind of sets it aside and goes for the next pie, which looks the same. At this point, she looks up at my dad, who says sheepishly, ‘Oh yeah, uh, we, uh, had to microwave the pies.’ After a second to let it sink in, the whole room bursts into hysterical laughter.
We still ate ’em, and they really weren’t bad, just not awesome. But now every year, (this was AT LEAST ten years ago) my dad is assigned anything but pie, and when the pie does come out, my uncles taste it, exclaim how delicious it is, and then innocently ask: ‘I’ve got to know the secret to such a tasty pie. Did you happen to microwave it?'”
That’s Not A Traditional Thanksgiving Meal
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“My in-laws are terrible cooks.
Last year, I put on a huge Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings. The family drama that came with it convinced me never to do it again, even though I enjoyed cooking a huge meal.
So this year, my brother-in-law asked me, three days before the day, if I’d be nice enough to cook again. Nope. Sorry. He insisted we still have a gathering even though each of the mother-in-law’s kids had already planned their own meals.
So we all came over to his house where he prepared us all frozen pizzas and fries. Yep, our big family meal was watching him cook frozen pizza and fries. He kept opening the oven every minute to check if the pizza was done, so it took ages. It was cheap pizza, too.
Thankfully we had our own small meal at home. My husband and I enjoyed our tiny meal in peace that evening.”
She Drove All That Way Just For Family Drama?
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“I moved to Texas about 11 years ago, leaving most of my family in Florida. Since I didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving alone, a friend and I rented a car and drove back together. I dropped her off in Orlando before continuing south to see my family.
When I got there, it was a disaster; it seemed like the entire family was livid with each other. Person A refused to be in the same place as person B and person C didn’t want to see Person A and so forth. So the family was having like three different Thanksgiving gatherings. Of course, this means that there is no way for me to win, because no matter which one I go to, someone is going to get upset that I didn’t go to their dinner.
I was getting pulled in three different directions for two days so eventually, I just got fed up and started telling people: ‘I just drove 1,200 miles to visit and you can’t drive two miles to so-and-so’s house to see me? Tough luck, I’ll see you next year.’
After deciding that there wasn’t enough drinks in the state to make the holiday bearable I just left and drove back to Orlando to chill with my friends, who were much more fun than my feuding family.”
Pretending To Eat The Food?
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“My senile grandmother prepared Thanksgiving dinner as usual – the standard American offerings. Also, as usual, no one was allowed in the kitchen during this cooking as she was typically a ‘Terminator’ when it came to banging out a rock-solid spread that would put any Thanksgiving stock photography to shame and we knew better than to get into her way.
Welp, not that year.
We came into the dining room to the usual spread of turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, ham, mushroom gravy, and so on. Only nothing had been cooked. Nothing. The turkey was stuffed, but it was merely defrosted. The ham was cold, as it hadn’t been cooked at all. The ‘gravy’ was more like mushroom and butter floating in the water. The sweet potatoes… well, no need to go on.
It was awkward.
We pretended to eat, but not for long. After she went to bed we went out for Chinese.”
