“I Actually Ran Back To My Car”
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“It was close to Halloween and I pulled up to this house and it was dark and spooky. When I got up to the walkway to the door, an old lady was just standing there and saying, ‘Help meee.’
I was already spooked at this point but she just wanted help inside and when she opened the door, the house had no furniture except one tv and there were maybe 4 or 5 people in wheelchairs sitting around it in dead silence.
I’ve never felt so on edge in my entire life honestly and nobody said anything to me for a long 10 seconds but eventually, one of them raised a hand and signed for this pizza and I left. That was the only time I actually ran back to my car.”
A Heads Up For The Hippies
“This was during a delivery to a really bad part of my area. I’d always lock the car doors and roll the windows up on the beater car that was my pizza mobile. Anyway, I pulled up at this quad-plex thingy as FBI and SWAT vans started rolling up. The SWAT guys, in armor with AR’s, were getting up on rooftops and the FBI guys were running from tree to tree down the street (and away from my delivery, I might add). I walked up to the door and beat on it. This ancient hippy dude opened it up, big white beard and all, as clouds of pot smoke exited his place.
I told him, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you care, but there is a big FBI raid going on right down your street.’ He ran out to look, freaked out, and ran back inside. You could hear what sounded like a high school football team running around inside and he was gone for probably five minutes – a long time in hungry-for-pizza time. When he opened the door, all the furniture was moved around, there were at least eight guys sitting calmly in the living room and the place smelled of air freshener. He paid me, handed me a $50, and said thanks. Dudes were up to something but the cops weren’t there for them.”
He Delivered To “The Crow” For Months Before She Ever Showed Her Face
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“I had a regular delivery to what we called ‘the crow.’ She would order seven large supreme pizzas every couple of days. The first few times I went to her house, she would only accept pizzas through the bottom of her garage door, not show the upper half of her body and throw the money out of the garage in a plastic zip lock baggie.
It wasn’t until after 4-6 months of being the only driver that delivered to her that she was comfortable pulling the garage door up all the way (she at that point knew my name and would request me). People who had started calling her ‘the crow’ called her that because she raised some kind of blackbirds in her garage and they would squawk like crazy. The pizzas were apparently for her birds.”
This Man-Cave Took The Driver By Surprise
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“The most unforgettable time, I was delivering to a moderately affluent suburban home. I rang the doorbell of a house that was completely dark, expecting it to be a no-show. As I was about to give up, a half-asleep older woman answered, said her husband must have ordered, that’s he’s in back in the garage. I made my way to the back and yep, lights in the garage were on. I knocked on the side door and he answered in a robe and pajama bottoms. Asked me to step in while he grabs the money.
The garage itself was decked out like a great retro man-cave, with a pool table and some pinball machines. But…BUT…on the TV there was this video. Young looking girls (they looked legal, but they were definitely dressed to LOOK underage), in schoolgirl uniforms, riding a merry-go-round carousel, and REALLY enjoying themselves, shall we say. I tried to not-look-yet-look at this thing the entire time the dude was fumbling around for his cash.
Once he found it, he eventually paid me AND gave me like a $30 tip on a $20 pizza.
Still so many unanswered questions about that.”
His Good Deed Went Unappreciated
“I worked at a mom and pop pizza store. I was called up for a delivery, bagged the order, entered the address into my GPS, and set off. After about twelve minutes or so, I arrived. I walked up to the door, knocked, and was greeted by a woman and her daughter (probably around 10). I went through my schpiel: ‘Hello, how are you? I have your order, is that correct? Okay, the total is this amount,’ and began handing her the food.
She turned to her daughter and said to her, ‘Make sure the dog doesn’t…,’ and couldn’t finish the sentence before a Yorkie went tearing out the door. They started to panic (the street wasn’t busy, but it’s a small dog in a town where animals hit by traffic is a common sight, sadly), and I tried to calm them down, saying that I’d be happy to retrieve the dog. They obliged and after I handed them the rest of their order, I went after the dog.
This…thing…decided it was going to go running four houses down. The houses weren’t too spread out, but it was still me chasing a dog in the middle of summer, wearing a black t-shirt in the dead of the afternoon. Anyway, I finally caught up to the dog, picked it up, and started carrying it back to the owners. I handed the dog back to them, got back to the business of them paying for the food, and I was rewarded with the princely sum of a $0.16 tip.
You are reading that correctly. 16 cents for returning a Yorkie.”
The Freaky Farmhouse
“I delivered about 10 or so years ago and there was this one house that had a reputation for being creepy. It did not disappoint when I got the chance to deliver there. It was a farmhouse at the very edge of our delivery area that had floodlights illuminating the property in the pitch black night. I walked up to the back door and was greeted by a mumbling man maybe in his mid 60’s.
He motioned for me to come in and there were about 5-6 men standing along the wall in a row staring at this tiny 20 inch TV across the room. They didn’t acknowledge me or look at me at all. The old man handed me some bills and a handful of coins. I didn’t even bother counting the coins, I just got out of there as soon as he handed me the money for the food.”
She Narrowly Escaped A Violent Crime
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“When I was about 6 months pregnant with my first son, I delivered for Papa John’s in an area that was mostly not so great. Now, that area has the highest violent crime rate on average or something or other for our state, so that should tell you how bad it was about 10 years ago before it got downright awful.
Well, one neighborhood, in particular, was the worst of the worst. Usually, another driver would take it since I was pregnant, but that Friday night we were short and super busy, so I did it without hesitation. Gotta eat after all, right?
So, I got there, got out of my truck with the pizza, and got a really, REALLY bad feeling. I quickly looked around and saw a group of guys watching me. I put on my war face, more or less, and on a second thought, stuck my big belly out a bit so it’d be way more obvious in the dark.
One of them approached me and was like, ‘Oh, you’re pregnant?’
I just shrugged and said, ‘Yeah…that definitely ain’t a basketball, dude.’
He chuckled at that, walked back to his friends, and I heard him say, ‘Nah, yall, come on, she’s pregnant.’
They all walked away and the dude that I’d spoken to gave me a nod and smile, told me to take care. Found out later that one driver had been brutally beaten in that lot less than a couple months before I’d been hired, and if I hadn’t been pregnant, I might’ve suffered the same or worse. Glad that didn’t happen.”
A Shocking Roommate
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“I used to deliver to the nurses at a nursing home. The first time I went there I got lost and was walking around looking for the nurse’s station. I was walking by a room and heard an old lady moaning in soft, bone-chillingly creepy way. The door was open so obviously, I peeked in.
There were two beds set up in the room. The moaning lady was sitting on the edge of the farthest bed, back to the door. The bed closest to the door was empty, aside from an old porcelain doll propped up on the pillows. I didn’t stay long enough to see if it would slowly turn to face me.”
No One Wants To See THAT When The Door Opens
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“I show up at a woman’s house and her toddler opens the door. Mum is sitting on the toilet, door open, facing me in all her glory – pooping. She’s yelling at her toddler to ‘get Mummy’s wallet from Mummy’s purse.’ This kid can’t be older than like…2? So the kid, after like a good excruciating five minutes of yelling, manages to get Mummy’s wallet from Mummy’s purse. I feel like I can’t intervene and take the money out myself because the Mum will think I’m stealing, so we’re both trying to talk this kid through paying me.
Mum is yelling at the poor girl to ‘get the orange note!’ and the kid pulls out her mum’s opal card instead of the $20. The kid starts crying. Mum is getting really agitated. It gets to a point where I snap and say, ‘Look, lady, you’re gonna have to do this.’ Then I wait until she finished in the bathroom and gives me the money without washing her hands.”
Getting Attacked Definitely Made This His Worst Day On The Job
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“I had just finished a delivery and was making my way back to my car. From the side of my peripheral, someone walked up to me, pulled a weapon, and told me to give up my money. The kid couldn’t have been out of high school. As I was trying to assess the situation I’d been placed in, my mouth started moving and before I knew it I’ve told this guy to buzz off and essentially called him an idiot. Apparently, I don’t handle confrontation in the smartest of ways…
After some back and forth, I tried to call his bluff (still unsure why I’m saying the things I’m saying). The kid lowered his weapon and I thought I was about to make it out. A second later, he raised the weapon to my face and in my head, I was going, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no.’ He then lowered the weapon a second time, but aimed for my left knee and pulled the trigger.
The bullet struck the thickest part of my femur, chipping on impact and ricocheted out the back left side of my knee. It severed the peroneal nerve and dropped me instantly.
Not wanting to be shot again, I reached into my back pocket and threw a wad of $1s and $5s. I think the total was around $35. Not worth it.”
Dog Delivery
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“I pulled up to the house and there was a large German Shepherd in the yard (which was fenced in) going nuts, barking and snapping at me. It took me about 5 to 10 minutes of grappling with this dog to make it to the door, then it ran around the side of the house. So the folks opened the door, paid for the food, and suddenly the dog burst around the corner of the yard, slammed past me, and bolted into the house.
He was sprinting in circles, freaking out and knocking stuff over, including a nice looking lamp that broke. The people there started losing their minds trying to stop the dog from turning the whole house into rubble.
The one dude asked me, ‘Why on earth would you bring your dog with you on a delivery?’
Which was an absolutely bonkers question, though it let me know this was not their dog. I helped them get it out of the house and they tipped me zero dollars.”
What Happened Just Moments Before He Arrived Ruined His Day
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“I live in a small town, pretty innocent here. I was on a regular delivery, to what was a fairly normal part of the housing in town. As I was arriving I noticed a man on the sidewalk hunched over and I thought to myself, ‘Man, he’s wasted already and it’s just past 4.’ He was just a few houses down from where I parked.
As I was walking up, a few cop cars flew by me towards that man, and I knocked on the door while still looking at the cars. When I turned my head, oh so slowly, there was a smear of blood. I scanned the door and farther down there was blood. Everywhere. It was pooling down the steps and making a trail to that hunched over man. Immediately after I realized this, a woman in an SUV sped by yelling, ‘Get out of there!’ So I dropped the bag and just booked it down the street. Later on, after talking to those officers, with more still arriving, turns out the dude had knocked on the door, not even moments before I arrived, and the man who answered just stabbed him and ran. That ruined my day for sure.”
This Customer Definitely Provided The Driver With An Interesting Story
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“I was at home alone watching a movie with my surround sound system on. I got hungry so I called a pizza place for delivery. When the guy showed up at the door, I had to turn my surround sound off and also mute my TV. I wasn’t in the best mental condition at the time. So when he knocked at the door, I pressed all these buttons and went and opened the door.
I got my pizza and paid him and he just stood there looking at me like I have two heads and I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. Then I heard an adult film that I left in the DVD player playing on the surround sound. I just said, ‘Thank you,’ real quick and closed the door.”
“I Was About To Walk Off Then It Happened”
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“I used to work at a Pizza Hut on a military base, so tips were good. I was invited all the time to have a drink with the soldiers, got hit on by army wives, but I’d just generally chat and make good money.
One night, I was on a roll. I had about five $10 tips in three hours and it was near the end of the night, so there was me and just one driver. I had the final delivery so I drove off to this housing unit, which ironically was on the other side of a fence in the town right off base.
I went up to the house, it was about 1 am. The dude seemingly had been drinking and invited me in. I’ve played this game. Be kind, be nice, make $5+ and bounce. Lady Luck left me this time. The dude started talking about how his wife had been cheating on him the whole time he had been gone, he was seemingly distraught. I tried to console him. He signed his credit card receipt and I was about to walk off …then it happened.
He asked me if I believed in God. I’m agnostic, so I said no, not really. He said that God was a joke and that we better hope he does exist and likes us. Why? I turn around to see the dude had a weapon and pulled the trigger with the barrel pointed at his head. Then he pointed it at me. Click. The dude was playing Russian roulette with our lives. I broke the screen door running as fast as I could and called the Military Police as I drove off. Never did find out if he succeeded in killing himself.”
An Awkward Mix Up
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“I was working for a small pizzeria where there were only two delivery drivers on shift. My coworker (a very large, muscular black man) delivered an order to a house and afterward, we got a call saying the order was wrong and we had forgotten a side dish (we hadn’t). Our boss sent me (a scrawny white dude) out to correct the order. When I arrived at the house, the door swung open as soon as I rang.
Standing in the threshold of the door was a scantily clad middle-aged women in see-through lingerie with a dimly lit room full of candles in the background. I was awesomely surprised, she was horrified, however, because I was clearly not who she was expecting. She slammed the door, I left the food on the doorstep and yelled that I was doing so. She called in a $20 tip, I’m assuming for my silence, but it was already too late as I had immediately regaled my coworkers with the story.”
The Irony Of This Situation Is Unbelievable
“The pizza shop I delivered for sold a 36 inch ‘Party’ pizza. The thing was massive, incredibly hard to get out of the oven, and the toppings would slide everywhere upon delivery. Anywho, one afternoon we get an order in from the local fire station for one of our party pizzas, awesome, sounds like a good tipping delivery. I carry the giant pizza in through the firehouse and to their lunchroom/kitchen. I look around to set the pizza down but alas there is no room. Empty pizza boxes are everywhere. One fireman, who saw my predicament, bustles over to clear room for the new pizza, setting the empty boxes in a pile on the stove.
I begin to count out change for a $50 when a burning smell begins to fill the room. Then the smoke came, then the flames. Apparently, someone had just used the stove and the burners were still hot enough to light 20+ greasy pizza boxes on fire. We probably watched the fire for upwards of 30 seconds before someone piped up, ‘Uhh guys? Do we have an extinguisher in the kitchen?’ They ran out to find one. The whole building was ringing, people were running to the truck to get ready to go out on a call. It was pandemonium for about two minutes. The fire gets put out, they tell me to keep the change from the $50 and they ask me not to write about this for our local newspaper.”
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