At one point or another, we’ve all basked in the lazy glow of some late-night TV infomercials. When it comes to things you absolutely don’t need “As Seen On TV” products have to be on the top of the list.
11. Kush Support
Are you well endowed? Do you sleep on your side? Let me introduce you to the Kush Support pillow! This weird pink thing was marketed for nursing or pregnant women and those with implants. As to why somebody would need this is beyond me, but Amazon reviews reveal that the product can actually cause mastitis.
10. Potty Putter
The premise of the Potty Putter is quite pointless yet straightforward; putt-putt golf while you take a dump. This product was probably devised before the advent of cellphones because now you can just play virtual golf on your phone rather than just putt a golf ball into the same hole 12 inches away.
9. Booty Bop
There’s no way to dance around it, but this is a butt pad. That’s it. Need a booty? Don’t do squats just slip on these padded undies. Just as good as J-Lo!
8. The Tiddy Bear
There’s nothing worse or weirdly specific than getting burned from your seatbelt on a hot day (which would imply that you’re driving shirtless for some reason?). To mitigate this obvious problem somebody devised the hilariously named Tiddy Bear. Is it like the Kush Support pillow and designed for well-endowed women? Not really. It simply keeps your chest (tiddies?) from being seared by the seatbelt. Maybe that’s the gimmick of the name.
7. Uroclub
No, this product is not missing an “E” in front of its name. Unfortunately, the Uro Club is not a cool Euro Trash dance club in Berlin but an actual golf club meant for golfers to pee in while they’re hitting the green. How does it work? Simply angle the club towards your crotch like you’re about to swing, place the handy green towel over your shlong, insert shlong into the club’s hollowed-out tube construction, and ta-da! You’re discreetly peeing in front of your friends! Now you really pulled a slick one on them.
The only drawback is now you have a golf club full of pee that you must stow and make sure none of your friends touch, lest they discover you pee into golf clubs. I just imagine the misfortune of somebody who mistakenly swings this thing with its cap unsecured. Capitalism breeds innovation, baby.
6. Lady Elegance P EZ Travel Urinal For Women
Okay, so we had the Uro Club. Now for the ladies introducing the Lady Elegance female urinal. This clever funnel allows women to pee standing up like men! No golf club required! So go forth, ladies. Go forth and pee on everything just like the dudes.
5. Poo Trap
Too lazy to pick up your dog’s poo? Fret no longer! The Poo Trap is here! As we all know dogs just love infernal contraptions tied around their bodies so what better than a complicated system of straps that affixes a bag directly over their b-hole?
Now instead of bending over to pick up the poop all you have to do is bend over and detach the bag of poop attached to your dog! It’s incredibly simple and practical!
4. Tater Mitts
Peeling veggies is so tiresome! So what better of a solution than a good ole pair of Tater Mitts! The premise is that instead of peeling potatoes with an ordinary peeler you don these gloves with rocks glued all over them and rub them furiously around the spud. The awesome thing about Tater Mitts though is that they absolutely don’t work in consumer tests! Genius!
3. The Portable Sauna
Want your own personal in-home sauna? Instead of shelling out on heaters and sauna rocks do the next best thing and purchase the FIR-Real Sauna system! Look how happy the lady is in this picture. She’s sweating while reading a book. It must be relaxing! Now you can eat snacks, read books, or whatever like to do while sitting in a smallish sweaty tent.
2. Neck Magic Air Cushion
If you have pain in your neck don’t go to a specialist! Buy Dr. HO’s (yes, that’s seriously his name) Magic Neck Cushion instead. Simply place the apparatus around your neck and start pumping furiously. Before you know it the Magic Neck Cushion will inflate and pull your skull away from your shoulders which should help with the pain for some inexplicable reason. Congrats you’ve now elongated your neck.
1. The Shake Weight
The Shake Weight is absolutely and undeniably the heavyweight champion of TV infomercial products. We’ve all seen the buff guys and girls in the commercials use the oscillating wonder thing like they’re giving out handies, but to really prove that this product works we’ve shared a pic of the Shake Weight’s inventor, Johann Verheem. Just one look at Verheem’s hunky build we can see that he’s living proof of the dumbbell’s success. He’s even double-fisting two of those bad boys!
