He Tried To Pretend He Didn’t Hear It, But The Husband Would Not Relent
“I work at a semi-fancy Italian restaurant, so one night when the meals came to the table I asked the table (man and wife) if they would care for any freshly grated parmesan. They both said yes, so as I was shredding parmesan over the woman’s lasagna, the man asked me, ‘I was wondering, sir, if you’ve ever met a controlling witch before?’
After picking up my jaw from the floor, I did my best to pretend like I hadn’t heard anything. But he asked me again, and so I had to respond. I said, ‘No sir, I have not. I wasn’t aware they exist,’ trying to lighten the mood a bit. I swear to God he said, ‘Well perfect! Let me introduce you to my wife, Carol.’ I ended up not going back to their table except for dropping off the check. It was my second day on the job.”
He Couldn’t Make Up His Mind About Dish Temperature, So He Decided To Lose it
“I was waiting tables when a nice family of four came in. The parents ordered a sizzling fajita plate for two. When I bring out the fajitas on the iron skillet plate they were sizzling like they are supposed to be, but apparently, that wasn’t hot enough.
They asked me to go back and make them hotter, so I took them back to the kitchen where the kitchen manager decided to pull out a blow torch (why we needed or had that thing was beyond me). He proceeded to heat the iron skillet up to burning red, then threw the fajitas back on the skillet and sent me back out to the table with them.
Well, the father at the table was not very pleased with the profuse amount of smoke billowing from the plate and decided to throw the thing at me. Luckily he had bad aim, missed, and broke a window. The manager got his information so we could contact him about replacing the window, and he was told to get out and never come back.”
He Was The Master Of Sleaze, And Pulled Out All The Stops To Prove It
“I once served a guy once who took his wife out for their anniversary; they must have been in their early 40’s. I had a bad feeling about the guy from the jump. He oozed this fake vibe that would make you feel nauseous if you stood near him too long. I knew something was up with him, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. His wife was good looking, warm, and bubbly, and told me she was so excited about their celebration.
I thought if I could make her night really memorable for their anniversary, I could get a good tip from the husband, as they were balling out hard on their meals and drinks. I went all out for them and made it an evening to remember: fancy drinks, dessert with sparklers, I was charming the heck out of them and they spent the whole night laughing with each other. I was a regular old Lumière.
After the dinner was over, he insisted to pay for the meal up by the server station (away from his wife) even after I offered to bring him the debit machine. His bill was well over $250, and as I handed him the machine he took a toonie ($2 coin) out of his back pocket and winked at me while saying, ‘This is for you, bro,’ like he was hot shotting me some huge tip that was going to change my life. I totally knew he was a slimeball. I was ticked, but more angry at myself for not following my gut.
Then he went on to tell me that ‘some stuff’ happened that evening with him and his wife and he wasn’t ‘happy about her behavior.’ He then told me he was going to see his mistress after dinner to ‘figure out which one he wanted to be with forever.’ As I was giving him his receipt with my mind totally boggled, he finished with, ‘Well, you know what that’s like, right?’ as he tried to do this weak bro hug/handshake thing like we were best friends.
I was like 20 and looked every second of it, how the heck would I know what he was talking about? It felt like he was trying to seriously impress me with all his fakery, like I’d want to hang out with him after he confessed all that stuff to me.
He then got his coat and his girl, and insisted on waiting for me at the exit to say, ‘Thanks again for making this night so special for us.’ He grabbed my hand and I had to shake it in front of his wife. He then circled behind her back as she stepped up to thank me. He loomed over her shoulder and did this slime-ridden smile like the troll guy. I felt like I had just fallen into a pile of crap. I’m still left with a ton of questions about why he tried to impress a kid waiter he just met. What a jerk.”
He Was A Total Cretin Setting An Awful Example For His Son
“I used to work as a server at a family-friendly Chinese restaurant as a young college girl. One day a guy and his teenage son came in and sat at a table, so I brought them water and menus, giving them a few minutes to sort out what they wanted to eat.
I started to approach their table to take their order when the father leaned over and said to his son, ‘Bet you’d like a piece of that, eh?’ I don’t know if he knew that I heard him since I wasn’t at their table yet, but the kid was blushing like crazy.
When I got to the table the dad pointed out that the kid had a stiffy (he was 13 or so, of course he had got a socially awkward hard on, it probably had very little to do with me). Then the dad asked me if I was a Mennonite because I had hot ankles (I know, it made no sense at all), at which point I walked away and told my manager that the table was all his. The dad left a deliberately crappy tip. I felt bad for the kid.”
Her Kid Had Exponentially More Awareness Than She Did
“During high school, I worked as a waitress at a pizza place where the manager would hire mentally challenged people to wash dishes and bus tables during the weekends. One weekend we were swamped, and things were getting a bit crazy. A woman with four or five kids was sitting close to the waitress station; it wasn’t my table, but I could tell she looked angry.
One of the mentally challenged workers, we’ll call her Jane, was walking by her as she was bussing tables. The woman grabbed Jane’s arm and swung her around. She started yelling at her for not bringing out the appetizer. I walked over to the woman, told her that Jane was not one of the wait staff members, and asked what I could get for her. She then got out of her chair and screamed, ‘EFFING SLOW IDIOTS!’ She walked off, probably to talk to the manager.
I was speechless and felt horrible. I don’t think the woman realized what she’d just said. Then one of her kids (she had to have been younger than eight) told me, ‘Sorry about my mommy, she is mean.’ I told her, ‘It’s not your fault’ and patted her on the head.
The woman came back to grab her kids and coat and left the restaurant. It was busy, so, unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to tell the woman that her daughter was more grown up than she was. That was definitely the rudest thing I have ever heard a customer say in all of my waitressing experience. She was such a witch.”
He Embodied Toxic Masculinity With His Ignorant Behavior
“A family of 4 came in, and the dad started slamming brews. He probably had 4 or 5 before they got their appetizers. The couple wasn’t particularly rude to me, but were a little rough around the edges in general–loud, blunt, not very good manners, etc. The two daughters (around 8 and 10) were really quiet though, and I could see why pretty quickly. As the dad got more and more wasted, he was really touchy with the girls, making them sit on his lap and such. They were visibly uncomfortable, and I felt so terrible for them.
I bring out one of the appetizer dishes, but the other one was potato skins or something that takes a little longer to cook (which I alerted them of when they ordered). The dad got ticked, saying that the appetizers needed to come out together, blah blah blah. I got what he meant, but still, you have one thing to munch on (for 4 people, too), what’s the big deal? He was yelling at me (‘This is bullcrap!’), pointing at me, and calling me a terrible server, all while his wife and daughters stared at their laps.
Then he asked to see my manager, so I went and got her. The other waitresses on the shift saw what’d been going on with the guy, and had already told my manager about him. My manager comes out to talk to the guy, and he was furious that there wasn’t a ‘male boss’ available. He started spewing gems like ‘Are you kidding? I need to speak with a man about this. You’re telling me that the only manager here is her?’
I’ve never dealt with such a creepy, insulting, crude person before. Yes, he made me cry. I will never understand what people get out of making an 18-year-old girl cry. It was a nightmare.”
He Was Astounded At The Amount Of Prejudice He Regularly Encountered
“I’m an American-born Hispanic waiter, and I often encounter overt racism. One time a couple had just got sat when the woman turned to the man and said, ‘Let’s ask him if he can take a picture of us,’ and pointed at me while I was walking through, making sure my section was clean. He replied, ‘He probably doesn’t speak English.’
I finished wiping a table and then walked over and said, in the king’s English, say ‘Hi, my name is xyz and I will be your server tonight. I can start you off with one of our signature drinks, and if you would like I would be more than happy to take your picture for you.’ He did not look happy in the picture.
Another time it wasn’t my section, but I was passing through and this older lady turned to her idiot husband and said, ‘It’s cold in here, ask him if he can turn the heat up,’ to which he replied, ‘He probably doesn’t speak English.’ Sigh.
So I went and got two glasses of water, walked over to them, and placed the glasses on the table slowly while looking at them with a dumb innocent smile. Then before I departed, I stood up straight and in the king’s English said, ‘Hello, my name is xyz, and although I will not be your server tonight, I have brought some water for you and I will request that the management adjust the temperature as well.’ As I was walking away I heard him say, ‘What, how was I supposed to know? He didn’t say anything.’ Wow, am I supposed to wear a shirt that says, ‘I assure you I speak English’ while serving?”
She Was Trapped In A Brutal Situation, But Then Her Server Intervened
About a year ago I was waiting on a couple at Applebees. They were young, probably between 18-20. After interacting with them and walking by a few more times to get to other tables, I got the vibe they were on their first date.
The table across from them was an older gay couple, and they left shortly after the young couple arrived. Then for the rest of the evening, the guy was talking crap on them about how gay people have zero rights, and that they are unnatural and going to be in the underworld for the rest of eternity.
The girl was very visibly uncomfortable and didn’t say much after that. We exchanged looks a few time when I was at the table, so I rushed things along so she could leave. She was very thankful when he went to the bathroom, and she promptly left. That guy was a huge bigot.”
It Was Her Birthday, And She Didn’t Deserve Such Calamity
“I once had a family come in for their daughter’s birthday with a handful of her friends. They ordered a round of drinks that I promptly brought back to the table. When I gave the father his pint, he requested that I bring his drink back in a frosted mug (it was in a frosted pint glass). I informed him that we didn’t have any mugs in the house, which sent him into a rage.
He called me a lying jerk, flipped the table (breaking several of the gifts), and punched the wall on his way out. This left me, the family, and all of the patrons in a state of shock. The daughter started crying, and the mother apologized profusely, saying that they would pay for the drinks and leave. I tried to be as graceful as I could and suggested that they stay as it was still the daughter’s birthday. I promised the rest of the night would be great.
I had somebody bring fresh drinks, got help cleaning up the mess, and took their orders. I told the kitchen and management about what happened, and everybody pitched in to make the evening better. Their meals were comped, and I made a dessert bonanza for the daughter. By the end of the meal, it was as if the father was never there, the vile jerk.”
She Was A Manic Mommy Who Completely Lost Her Cool
“I used to work at a small, family-owned pizza place in the suburbs that was fairly popular. For some reason, Mother’s Day was a BIG day for this place, and as a ‘thank you’ to the moms, we were supposed to give each mother/grandmother/special woman a rose with her dinner.
That day, I’d opened the restaurant with only one other server, two cooks, and no highchairs or tablecloths (thanks, upscale sister restaurant who ‘borrowed’ them!), and by the end of my seven-hour shift with no break for food, I was pretty beat.
I had a table of two, no children, who seemed totally pleasant and lovely until I brought them their check. The woman looked at me and asked why so many people had roses, and I explained the whole Mother’s Day thing. That’s when she got this look of total rage on her face.
Her: ‘How rude of you to assume we don’t have kids!’
Me: ‘…?’ (It had honestly slipped my mind to ask; I’d given roses to other women who were out without their children during the day, even if I was pretty sure they were lying about being a mom).
Her: ‘I can’t believe you would be so horrible, I want to talk to your manager!’
At that point, she was starting to yell pretty loudly and people were staring, so I apologized and got my manager. He tried to placate her, and she started yelling about wanting their meal comped. At that place, my boss wouldn’t comp anyone’s meal short of it coming out on fire or someone crapping in it, so he politely refused and told her he’ll comp their drinks but that’s about it since I’d apologized and clearly didn’t mean to be so thoughtless.
Then I brought her a rose and apologized again. She proceeded to throw it back at me and declared she didn’t want it, and that they’re leaving and never coming back (I love that threat, because usually when people make it, we don’t want to see them again anyway). She stormed out, leaving the husband behind to pay the bill. He paid and left me no tip, pointedly telling me that I’ve completely ruined Mother’s Day for his wife and that he hoped I’m happy being a worthless witch. He also said he was going to call the owner and tell him just what a horrible waitress I was.
Being young and unwise to the ways of the world, I spent the rest of my shift crying in the back hallway between serving tables, convinced I was going to be fired. I wasn’t fired, but I quit about six month’s later. The owner was a jerk who once yelled at me because I gave a quick hug to a crying coworker, and I couldn’t put up with his general awfulness for crappy tips anymore.”
The Dad Went Nuts After The Gentle And Reasonable Request
“I used to work at Logan’s Roadhouse in Austin, and we kept full buckets of peanuts on the tables. One night a family came in at 11:05 (5 minutes after closing) and my manager sat them in my section.
I was okay with it, but I had already swept up the peanuts and cleaned my tables so I said, ‘I hope y’all don’t mind but I’ve already swept the peanut’s.’ The guy flipped and yelled, ‘What the heck you mean we ain’t gettin’ no goddang peanuts, why the heck you think we came to this craphole?’ at which point I said, ‘It’s not a big deal,’ to avoid confrontation. He snapped back, ‘You’re frickin’ right it’s not.’
As I walked away, he said, ‘And bring some of them darn buttered rolls while you’re at it.’ The night went on like that until he paid (only after my manager refused to comp his meal), but not before going off on a tangent about what a crappy server I was, even going so far as to call me an ignoramus. On his way out, he dumped their bucket on the floor, scraped the peanuts over the ground with his feet, and said, ‘Have fun cleanin’ that up, craphead.’ He was easily the worst guest I ever served.”
Once He Got The Hush Money, He Realized What Was Going On
“I once had a middle-aged guy come in with his wife on a busy day, and they were very pleasant and good tippers. He came back the VERY next day with her. As they were leaving after their meal, I said to them, ‘It was nice seeing you two yesterday. Have a great day.’ He stopped and told her to wait outside while he went to use the restroom.
Then he came back to me, tipped me $100 in cash, and told me next time I serve him to never say what I did again, just a simple ‘have a great day.’ I was like, ‘…ok?’ Apparently the second time he dined in, he was actually with his wife and the woman from the previous day was someone else. I guess I didn’t pay too much attention to detail. Then he came back AGAIN the next day with a really young girl. It was then that I realized he was dating women he hired off the internet. He still left me a very generous tip to keep my mouth shut.’
The Pastor
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“In addition to years in the food service industry, I owned and ran a Bed and Breakfast in a little town in South Carolina. It was a small business- just 3 rooms, in an old farmhouse built in 1835. During the off-season, we would give away three-day packages for charity events, such as auctions. We were never in charge of the money that was collected, we only looked to do a good deed and maybe get some good word of mouth.
So, a man and his wife book for a weekend in late March. They show up on Friday afternoon with their gift certificate from a charity auction, which we gladly accept. I say ‘You must be Mr. and Mrs. Smith…’ To which the guy responds ‘It’s PASTOR Smith.’ Already, I’m like, oh crap. So, I show them their room, inform them of our policies, and explain that there will be another couple arriving that evening.
The next morning, I serve both couples breakfast, and after the other couple leaves, the pastor says to me ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea to have more than one couple here at a time…why did you schedule us both?’ I tell him that we are just like a hotel, it can’t be expected that we should only take one room at a time. He proceeds to tell me that he found out the other couple is not married, and he is bothered by the idea that we would promote ‘immorality.’
It gets so much better… So, we have a huge farm with wonderful little gardens and nice spots to sit and enjoy the country. I walk out the grounds and I find the pastor sitting on a plastic folding chair right in front of the entrance to the farmhouse. I sort of just wonder about it, but I didn’t say anything. Later that night, the lady from the other couple came to my door and told me that they were leaving because the pastor has blocked their entrance to the house and began to preach to them about being immoral. I apologized and offered almost everything I could think of, but this lady was really nice and told me that she knew it wasn’t my fault, but that the weekend was ruined. I actually gave her another weekend for free, and they came back about a month later.
Again, it gets better yet. The next morning, I’m getting breakfast ready, and I see the pastor putting their luggage in their car. They had another night left, so I was kind of confused. I walked out the driveway, and I said ‘I think maybe there is a miscommunication- you have another night’ to which he says ‘Your air conditioning is broken, so we are leaving.’ I tell him that I can check on it, but it might just not be on since it’s only in the 60’s- in fact, the heat might be on. He looks at me and says ‘no- it was too hot last night, and YOU should have known that…I want my money back!’ For SOME reason, I am still trying to keep this whole thing friendly, so I explain to him that I didn’t receive any money from him, that the certificate he used was from a charity auction, so I am not even sure what he paid… to which he responded ‘Well, I paid $110, and I didn’t pay that to sleep in a hot room next to sinners, so you better write a check.’ OMG!!! I tell him that I will not be issuing a check, since ONE night at our regular rate is $100, so his nightly rate was less than 1/3 of that, and I didn’t receive any of that money.
I walk back inside, and begin to shut down making breakfast. About 5 minutes later, he comes back to the door and says ‘we’ll be taking our breakfast and my check now.’ I explain to him that I will be happy to put his breakfast in a box, but I am not giving him any money. They leave, and there is a letter in his room to me, telling me that he is going to be calling his lawyer.
Two weeks later, I get a package in the mail with their name on the return address. I am both scared and intrigued to open it. It’s a letter from his wife, whom I didn’t hear more than 2 words from during their trip, apologizing profusely for her husband’s behavior, telling me that she knows I did not do anything wrong, that the room was perfectly lovely, there was no issue with the heat, and that her husband has become a fundie born-again Christian a few years ago, become a minister online, and since then, he had been a complete terror. She included $200 in cash and asked that I not contact her since she was in the middle of trying to get legally separated from him.”
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