Sometimes the customer is wrong.
Mustard Man!
Apparently, this was unacceptable. Up until this point, he was just a normal guy, but now, sudden anger. ‘DO YOU KNOW WHO I WORK FOR?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?’
I tell him no. He then half-chuckles to himself and points out his pregnant wife sitting at a nearby table, and begrudges the time he spent in line. I again reassure him that they will give him some mustard packets if he walks next door. He loses it.
‘I’M THE REGIONAL MANAGER FOR COKE IN THIS AREA, I WILL BUY AND SELL YOUR KID…’ This self-aggrandizing and demeaning talk toward me lasted a full 60 seconds or so. Then I told him, ‘We only carry Pepsi products, eat garbage.’ He was flush with embarrassment and rage, and anyone within earshot is laughing at him. To spite me (really his little girl) he didn’t go get mustard packets. He was forever known as Mustard Man.”
Perfect Timing For A Cop To Walk By
anselmus/Shutterstock
“I was working at a gas station in a very rich part of town. During a nice summer day, a prime example of the jerk variety of the human species drove his super-expensive Lamborghini in, and in that haughty, I’m-rich-so-you-must-do-what-I-say voice demanded that it be filled with premium. The attendant started to, but the guy immediately snatched the nozzle from him and screamed, ‘You’re too stupid to do this on your own!’ (We’re in Oregon, by the way, where you can’t pump your own gas. State fire law).
Well, being that he’s a huge jerk and an idiot, gas spills out from the nozzle all over his sparkly jerk-mobile. At this point, he truly flips out, and storms into the store, where I’m working as the cashier and de facto manager. He immediately demands to speak to the owner, saying that we are going to pay to have his car repainted AND he’s not going to be paying for his gas. I try my best to calm the situation, but he’s got a good rage going and doesn’t want to be calmed down.
While he’s spewing forth, I notice that an officer from the local police department is about to come into the store to get snacks or a drink or some such. This gives me a nice idea: ‘Sir, I’m afraid that the gas is in your tank and you pumped it yourself, so you are going to have to pay.’
Cutscene of an explosion. Jerk guy then asks, ‘So what exactly do you think you can do if I just go and get in my car and leave?’
Thank you, good Lord, for timing. He says this, at full bellow, right as the officer walks through the door. My response? ‘Well, personally I can’t do much, but the nice West Linn Police Officer standing behind you will probably arrest you for 2nd degree theft.’
Jerk guy turns around to see the officer, with a very predatory smile on his face, nodding vigorously. Yeah, he shut up, paid, and we never saw him again.”
He Thought He Was Flying To Manchester, England…
“A well dressed, business passenger bought a plane ticket on continental from Indianapolis to Manchester. There are no direct flights, so he would have to connect in EWR (Newark, NJ). After arriving in EWR, he strolls over to the Manchester gate and sees a small 50 passenger regional jet parked outside. He thinks nothing of it and boards the airplane awhile later. After taking his seat and just prior to the boarding door being closed the flight attendant makes an announcement, ‘Welcome aboard flight #### service to Manchester, NEW HAMPSHIRE!’
This guy goes completely crazy! He starts scrambling to get his things and get off the plane, all the while yelling at the flight attendant, gate agent, pilots, and other passengers. He was trying to go to Manchester in the UK (airport code of MAN) and he bought a ticket for MHT. The gate agent was getting completely verbally abused by the guy at the podium as she tried to rebook him to the proper destination. She took it all in stride and was really trying to help the guy, even though he was being a complete jerk and going on and on about how it was a mistake in the computer.
And then she saw how much he paid for the ticket. Her exact words were,’You only paid 300 dollars for your ticket and you really thought that was going to get you to England?’ He was quiet after that.”
Threats At The Call Center?
“I used to be a low-level manager in a call center, it paid the bills…
Anyway, a customer had called us and been perfectly pleasant, giving us his account details, and business got underway. At the end of the call, he asked for one more thing that we couldn’t have done, and was informed of this. He immediately got extremely aggressive with my member of staff. At this point, her hand shot up in the air (cue me) and she handed over the headset and chair so I could view the details.
I was called various other names and then we got down to the grand finale: the threat. I’m paraphrasing but here’s how it went.
Him: ‘Listen, hun, I can see your company’s address on your website, and I’m going to come down there and mess you up.’
Me: ‘Good, give my colleague your name and address first, and I’ll make sure to hand them over to the police somewhere in the few hours it’s going to take you to drive down here. We’ll be waiting.’
(Dial tone).”
The Woman At Target Who Can’t Do Basic Math
“I worked in electronics at Target, and one day, over at guest service, I saw a woman with her teenage daughter heatedly speaking to the guy at the counter. After a few moments, he pointed over at me in electronics, the woman’s head whirled around, dragon-like, toward me. The rest of her body realigned with her head and she stomped in my direction.
When she reached the counter I pleasantly asked, ‘How can I help you?’
She slammed a receipt and PS3 controller on the counter, ‘I paid 55 dollars for this– and I can only return it for 40!’
I asked, ‘May I see your receipt?’
She nodded and I picked it up, ‘See 55 dollars!’
‘Yep, I see that,’ I said, ‘You bought this last week when the store gave away a 15 dollar gift certificate with the controller.’
‘So what!’
‘You would shop at Target again, right?’ I asked.
Her response back, I’ll never forget!
